Hello Everyone!

[MamboCat]

I was diagnosed with anxiety which was causing me depression about 6 months ago but looking back I guess I have had anxiety since my parents divorced when I was 13 (my father was a tad on the violent side). When I was in school I had lots of confidence and some friends but I did sometimes find it hard to get on with other children. I was bullied a lot and sometimes had a nasty streak in me! But in my teens I became very introverted. Since University I have found it very hard to make new friends and I've lost contact with many of the ones I had. If I walk into a room full of unfamilar faces I find it hard to speak, I tend to shy away in a corner and when someone speaks to me I blush a lot, speak too fast and often mumble my words. A lot of people think I'm a freak because of this so I've become very lonely and I tend to worry a lot about what other people think of me. I have to be constantly assured that the friends (and my partner!) I have aren't bored with me, which of course must annoy them and it becomes a vicious cycle. I hit my lowest point last year when I was considering suicide because I felt so isolated.

My partner is the only person who really understands me.. well, by partner I mean someone I used to live with and had a very close, long term relationship with. He had expressed his wish to spend his life with me but now he's left to teach English in Prague and I live with my parents again! :D As such my anxiety has got worse; I haven't got any real friends to hang out with, I'm between jobs and I guess I feel like I need help again. I've obtained the CBT audiotape: "Overcoming Anxiety/Social Phobia: Step By Step" and I'm working through it. It says not to practice the exercises in public so I've yet to see if it will work! :D

Anyways I hope I haven't put too many people off! :D

[duskess]

Hello Mambo , Welcome to NMP , Lots of help, advice and understanding members here, glad you joined the site , i can see your
trying hard to help yourself so well done:) sorry your feeling lonely at the moment but things will get better, im sure people dont think your a freak and whoever does has problems too so ,dont worry about that , lots of members will know how your feeling and you will get really good advice you take care,:welcome: Dusky x

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Mambo,

Welcome to NMP. Many here will understand how you have been feeling and will give their support. Glad you found us, you are not alone!

Take care,

Laura

[kittykat]

Hi there and :welcome: to the site, lots of good advice on here, take care xx

[Patty]

Hi MamboCat, :hugs:

:welcome: to NMP. It's great that you've joined. There is so much information & help here.

Best wishes :flowers: