some advice plss

[armanigurl143]

hi i have started noticing lately that things with me and my boyfriend have been getting bumpy but the issue is I'm causing these problems due to my anxiety ruling my everyday life and I'm just so sick of it .it makes me so sad i get mad over little things actually i get mad sometimes over nothing its like i cant control my emotions i obsess over things that are making me anxious which takes away from our quality time cause I'm to busy worrying about the stupidest things you could imagine ....i cry at times over nothing then he feels bad but does not know what to say i mean how could he possibly ever understand how i feel i don't even know why I'm upset half the time then i get more upset cause in that moment i want him to understand..so frustrating and its also causing me to become more and more insecure i question what he does which is not like me at all my normal self that is before this issue of anxiety came into my life I'm no longer social like i once had been not to long ago i just feel emotionally and physically drained ......any helpful words or advice i would very much appreciate it or anyone else who can relate to having relationship issues as a result of anxiety ?? thanks so much sorry for this being so long.

[madelaine]

the last 3n half years with ny boyfriend has been exactly to every word u have written it as been an emoyional rollercoaster as he suffers from ptsd and anxiety so we have double the issue but we can onlt hope they understand n love us enuf to stick with us if noy i am sure we will make it on our own but lets hope it doesnt cm to that make time for each other am tryin a work full time in a cancer unit so am hopin things will get better we go on holiay in 4 weeks so good luck

[goingmadder]

Hey Armani,

My advice to you would be ....

1) If you haven't already, sit down and talk to him as openly as possible about what you are going through. If you don't think you can manage a conversation like that for whatever reason then write him a letter and include in that letter exactly what you have written here. your words on here are very strong evidence that you want to change things for the better and it may be enough (at least for now) to make him feel reassured that you are trying to make things good again.

2) Ask him to visit this website. There are forums and chat rooms and its just as important for those close to us to have support as it is for us. Here he can vent any of his fustrations, ask questions and over all gain a better understanding of what you are going through and what he is going through as a result

3) For yourself... Read up on the tips for easing the anxiety, visit your gp and ask his/her advice, enquire about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. A good friend of mine has spent the last 3 weeks reading CBT for Dummies :-)) and its working wonders for him.. im waiting to borrow the book when he's done and my partner and I are going to read through it together... That way our individual healing can be a bonding experience.

4) keep coming back here... try to avoid venting your worries on him, thats what we're here for, everytime you feel worried about something, scared, upset, emotional come on here and write it all out no matter how trivial... you'll find in time seeing your own words and understanding the irrationality of it will make those things easier to nip in the bud over time until you start having more postivie happy times than axious scarry times...

5) REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! Everything you are going through we are all going through... You're not crazy, and it does not define you. We are all good people who deserve love and great things.. i know how easy it is to allow ourselves to start beleiving the negative thoughts, thay are untruths!!! We're all here for eachother...

Please feel free to PM me and vent anytime you like!!!

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP HUN!!

Big hugs

XXX

[armanigurl143]

thanks so much for the advice i really really appreciate it sorry it took so long to say thank you i just figured out how to find my past threads still learning about how to work this site but thanks so much....im trying everything i can to get through this the most difficult thing is getting used to most of the physical symptoms then all the sudden out of nowhere getting a new one and getting all worried but im trying my best to have a good attitude so thanks again.....

[goingmadder]

No problem hun.

Keep your chin up

I'm going through a rough bout and i know what you mean about the physical symptoms... sometimes its hard to figure out which comes first with me.. like the chicken or the egg... Hoping im at the tail end of this bout its been a difficult week... But we keep going and thats what counts

big hugs!

X