Escaping

[SarahP]

Does anyone else ever just feel like running away??

I feel so suffocated by everything here. My family is supportive but my mum rarely leaves me alone, and if I panic or start crying she generally joins in the hysterics. I catch her watching me all the time, and I feel like I'm constantly under surveillence.

I feel so trapped in my relationship. I know breaking up with him would be a mistake in the long term but everything about the relationship at the moment makes me panic, and I feel like I'm wasting his time.

I just wish the world would stop until I feel better then continue when I'm OK, or that I could just start over again with everything. I feel like I've messed everything up by letting my anxiety back in, and I dn't know how I can live with it all anymore.

Sorry to whinge, I just needed to vent a bit, and this is the only place I can do it without being judged...

[mick_uk]

Hiya sarah,
Don't worry about whinging it's good for you. Gets it out of your system :D
I know what you mean about wanting everything to stop until you can get it all back together again. Trouble is it doesn't and we have to run along side it trying to get back on.
I'm sure things will sort itself out with you soon. It's just managing until that time arrives.
I havn't really got any answers for you,but just wanted to say your not alone, there's a lot of us feeling the same.

take care

mick

[goingmadder]

Honey you sound like you took a stroll through my brain!!!

I know exactly what you mean, many a time i have wanted to escape, run from everyone and everything... sometimes to th epoint of wishing i could leave myself behind to, get out of my skin and just leave it all ... I spent years battling this and many a year wishing I could "UNLEARN" all the things I thought I had learned about myself...

you know what i realised...

Everything i thought I had learned about myself, that i was a horrible person, that i was wasting my partners time, that i was not deserving of love or affection or anything good... WERE ALL UNTRUTHS.. they are not true things about myself

ALSO ... What we are going through is an internal struggle and no matter who we run from we can not run from ourselves.. I have moved countries in the hope that it would stop, i have ended relationships, for the same reason.. Until we deal with our "deamons" our negative thoughts and anxiety it will continue to rear its ugly head.

You are not alone hun, go see your gp, find out about CBT and sit down and talk to those around you and explain how you are feeling and how they are making it worse.. Remember they are only acting as they think they should... they obviously have your best interests at heart but are going about it the wrong way...

Explain what you need from them, they are no more pyschic than you or I...

KEEP YOUR CHIN UP

XXXX

[S C]

Always think about running away - but panic and anxiety have always stopped me because i would be out of my comfort zone.

If you can do it. You dont need to run away for good, but if you feel that a week away on your own or with a friend or partner will help then go.

Your mum is worried about you so is looking out for you however, she doesnt know how that feels. Try telling her to give you some space - if you cant tell her then you will always be aware of her watching you and in the long term this will highten the way you feel

[Mudskipper]

Yeah, me too. Many's the time I've looked at the caravan parked on the drive and thought, "That's all I need. Hook it on and go. Leave everything behind and just roam about, avoiding all the things that trigger my anxieties." I'll never do it though, not while the kids are small anyway. No way I could leave them. Maybe I've got a touch of the gypsy in me? Anyhow, I can't offer any advice to get rid of the impulse, but I know how you feel:flowers:

[SarahP]

Thanks for the support guys! I've had a go at talking to my mum about how she could better support me, so fingers crossed things will start to improve.

It's awful to know that other people feel this bad too, but comforting as well to know I'm not alone and going crazy!

Thanks again :)

[bobobob]

Sarah P. Oh you summed it up so well. Stop the world.I symphathise with you, If only. You have made the right decision to come here. Anxiety is a curse. I send you my support and let you know you are not alone. The people here are great. Hugs.