New Year Panic

[sadie]

Hi all,

As we all know a New Year is dawning and that means celebrating, drinking etc..

Well I am going to a street party tommorrow with hubby and some friends. New Year has never been my favourite time of year..I dont know why but I just seem to hate the whole all night drinking etc..maybe thats because Im no longer a big drinker!!

Anyway, all day I have been thinking about 'what if I panic when im out'. The thing is although hubby will be there..the other people that will be there are not my usual group of friends so they dont know about my PA and anxiety. I also dont like telling people i dont know that well about this either, I feel embarassed still. I also dont want to ruin hubbies New Year either as I feel he sacrafices a lot for me already. All this makes me feel more worried about tommorrow night.

I have stopped the medication completely now too and I am starting to feel a bit better today...in fact I felt so bad over this last week I couldnt even find the strength to tidy up my house (Im a bit of a tidy freak). Tonight I came in from work and just started to get on with the chores etc.. I know that may not sound like much to others but I does to me..I feel slightly normal again. Anyway, I am still worried about having a drink even though Im no longer taking the medication..should this matter?

Please help[:0]


sadie

[Meg]

Good for you for getting on with it and I'm glad that uoy're feeling a touch better today.

It's very common for too much alcohol to lead to increased anxiety the next day so perhaps have a few drinks and then go onto soft drinks to minimize the possibility.

Go out - have a good time. In one short phrase - what's the total worst that could happen - then agree with yourself that you can cope with it as you have done before and dismiss it. If it comes back - dismis sit again and plan something fun to think of every time this creeps back in .


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[benoo5]

hi sadie,

well done,for supporting peter tomorrow,and i hope you have a great time...but you have come such a long way,over the last couple of months,and i would hate to see you take a step back,cos i know just how much you worry....heres my advice,take a bottle of mineral water with you,a small bottle will fit into a bag,put some bach rescue in it...have fun,have a dance,singalong...but remember its bringing in the new year...and 2004,is going to be your year,and the worst way of starting the year,is with a hangover,and the accomioning anxiety...sadie,this is just my advice,but as you know,i really do care about getting you better...best wishes..bryan.

[sadie]

Hi Bryan & Meg

Thanks for the advice..I guess youre right Bryan..I do tend to get very panicky if I have had a bit to drink and then the worrying starts. I do always make sure I drink a large glass of water before going to bed to help soften the blow the following day..it does help a bit.

I think 1 or 2 drinks will be enough for me..I actually dont really need to drink to have a good time. What I find is the problem is explaining to others that you just want a soft drink...As for the Rescue Remedy..thats sounds good Bryan but I dont think I will be able to put a bottle of water in my bag..one, I dont think it will fit and two, I will probably get searched as I am going to an organised street party!.Can take the small bottle with me though.. just in case.

Thanks you both again for your help and advice..what would we all do without you!!

Take care



sadie

[jonny]

Sadie,

Your post reminds me so much of how i feel about xmas and i really feel for you. Whilst i agree with Greg and Megs comments i though i'd just chuck in another opinion.

Yes, alcohol can ruin your mood the next day and result in increased anxiety but it can also help you have a good time. I am not suggesting the you go out and get totally p***ed, just that you do what you feel like at the time and not worry too much about the next day.
I hate xmas......at least i thought i did but now i am not so sure. For the past 7-8 years my xmas day has always been blighted by anxiety and panic to the point of hospilization on xmas morning. The months leading up to Dec 25th were pretty much the same - worrying about worrying and panic about the thought of panic. And all those thoughts just ruined the day and i supposed i began to associate Xmas with anxiety and panic. But this year was fine, in fact it was great and i even managed to eat my dinner too! So i am know hoping that next year i will remember my success and all my xmas's will be great.
I am just wondering if you have done the same thing with new year? Maybe you have just began to associate new years eve with anxiety because of past experiences and maybe it could be time to take charge and let those irrational fears go. Could you not go out and really try to have a good time and break the routine? If it all goes wrong then at least you can say you tried and if it all goes well then great.

I would say that you should not set yourself limits but just do what you fancy. Anxiety seems more about the build up than the actual event so you may well find that it will be just fine tonight even though you have probably spent weeks of dread mulling over the night out!

Go on be a devil and stuff everything else, you never know you might even look forward to next years night out if you can make this one a success!

Jon

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

[nomorepanic]

Sadie

Try to think positive and tell yourself that you are going to have a great time and you owe it to your partner to let him have his fun day too.

Remember some of the other posts on here about not being able to go to weddings and parties but once there things went well. Carry these thoughts with you.

Have a few drinks and you may relax and chill a bit and have a great time.

If you get panicky, just calmly go to the loo and sit there for a while to calm yourself down. If you feel embarassed in front of people then make some excuses for not being your best - upset stomach, bad nights sleep, etc.

We will all be thinking of you and I am expecting you to come back and post and tell us what a lovely time you had - we will all be with you in thought so take that with you [:o)]

Good luck

xx

Nicola

[jonny]

Sadie,

How did it go?

i went out armed with all my "wise" words and had a lousy time! LOL
You must remind me to ignore all my own well intended advice in future!!!!!!!!

Happy new year all

Jon

I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

[sarah]

Hiya

Join the club Jon, mine wasnt so great either...lol

I went down the pub at 8 o'clock. I had a good time till it came to quarter to twelve. I was in the pub and it started getting rowdy and the music went up and uh oh there came the panic. I sat there squirming until 3 mins to twelve when i said to my hubby 'ive got to go, i feel bad'.

I said i would wait till after twelve but he stood up, made a scene and said he would walk me out NOW! I tried to get out the pub door but it was locked and the bloke couldnt find the right key so i spent the new year gongs standing in the pub doorway leaning against the wall, panicking thinking i was traped forever...lol.

Finaly got out after about 5 mins (seemed like an hour) and hubby walked me halfway home then turned and ran back to the pub. I cried like a baby all the way home on my own and got in and came straight in the chatroom where i found Nic, Alex and Su who cheered me up (thanks guys)till my hubby came back after 10 mins as my friends told him he was a meanie leaving me on my own...lol.

Anyway, today i feel drained but positive that this year will be my year for getting better. Just because the year started badly doesnt mean its gonna be like it for the rest of the time!!!

Happy new year everyone!!!!!!!

love Sarah
xx

[kate]

Awwww Sarah,

Just try and look on it as a "blip" on the road to recovery. I bet a lot of normally "non panickers" would have panicked in a packed pub with music blasting etc!

Try not to let it get you down, at least you went out in the first place! Keep smiling mate, and here's to good things happening in 2004

Kate x

[jonny]

Awww ((((sarah))))

I must confess i had a little laugh at you story - not because it was funny but that i see so much of myself in it.
I say the same things, 'i gotta go' and 'i feel bad'.

Chin up babe, its all over now

jon


I used to be extremely indecisive but now I am not so sure...

[sadie]

Hi Everyone,

Hope you all had a Happy New Year!! Thanks everyone for the advice and support, it was much appreciated.

Well last night was quite a good night in the end.. I was a bit worried about drinking too much alcohol as we had dinner quite early and we all had some wine with our meal then some free drinks etc at the party we were at. The party was great but I could feel myself getting panicky shortly after arriving there. I think because the pub was huge, packed full of people, we were standing below the DJ and it was really hot...all made me feel a bit anxious.[:0] Peter was constantly making sure I was ok..always saying the right things to calm me down..which was so sweet. However, I was determined not to ruin his night. Anyway as time went on, I just felt like I couldnt breathe, like my throat was closing up. My chest felt weird too, it felt quite tight and I was getting the butterfly sensations in my chest again..this always sends me over the edge...its always the heart region that scares me.

Anyway, Nicola I took your advice and went to the loo to calm myself down. I just done some deep breathing exercises in the loo and thought too myself(as Meg clearly pointed out too)...whats the worst that could happen?? I pulled myself together and went back out to the party and after about 10/20 mins I just started to loosen up a bit and got into the festivities.[8D]

I am still a bit disappointed about having to make the visit to the loo to calm down but I managed to cope yet again, when I thought that I couldnt...so thats not too bad is it?

I did find myself getting a bit emotional as the New Year was dawning though...again I kept this to myself. There is something about New Year that makes you assess your life etc and I always find that I always feel like a let down. I realised that for the last couple of New Years I thought 'thank god that years over'. I cant keep feeling like this though can I...I think I really need to focus on making myself better no matter what and I think things will just seem so much more different then.[8D]

Sorry for getting all emotional and senitimental etc..but Its better out than in as the saying goes.

Thanks for listening

Take care


sadie

[nomorepanic]

Sarah - You did well to stay at the party as long as you did so well done for that. Some of us didn't even try and go out so you have one up on us don't you. Glad you feel better today and no probs about last night - we had our own party in the chat room.

Jon - Sorry to hear that yours wasn't so good? Did you get panicky in a pub or something?

Sadie - Well done for lasting the night and glad you stayed to the end. Don't beat yourself up for going to the loo. Don't see it as a failure, see it as bit of light relief from the panic and you managed to calm yourself down so that is positive too.

I cried too last night cos I always do when I look back at the previous year and where I am now. Alex pointed out to me that I was a lot worse last year and how far I had come this year. I really must write that diary that so many of you are doing cos then I could have looked back and realised how much better I am now.

Like most of you I am determined to make this year count - starting with that diet I keep going on about.

I hope you all feel better today!

Nicola

[sadie]

Thanks Nicola..

Sounds like you all had a good night too online...will try and get something sorted out so I can get on to the Chat room..sounds like its good fun.

Johnny and Sarah - hope you both feel a lot better today and try and not beat yourself up too much about what went wrong last night. Things will get better for us all this year..we will all be the life and soul of the party next year..just wait and see!!

Take care

sadie

[Lottie32]

Hi Sadie

Glad you survived the new year. If it's any consolation, I was exactly the same, I didn't even make it out the house till 10, cos that was how long it took me (from 6) to get my head together.

I'm afaid the whole festive period is a total load of boll***s in my book, and I was worse than you in a way, cos I was exactly the same about bloody Xmas too. Infact, maybe worse - I didn't make it out till half ten, by which time just about every single person I came into contact with was totally ra* ars*d. Entertained I was not.

(I must confess though, the reason I was sooo late out on Xmas Eve was because I got stuck in my best and very expensive patent baby goat knee high boots). I've had them five years, they were nearly £300 (thanks mum) and they come out every Xmas/New Year party. I was just about ready to leave the house - 9.30pm, and was sitting on my bed zipping them up when the metal thing you hold on to snapped off. With the zip half up (being positive this year, last year it would have been half down!). They wouldn't pull off and the zip wouldn't move. At all. So I hopped on downstairs into the kitchen, and rummaged through the drawer. Eventually I managed to prise the carving fork prong into the little gap in the zip and persuade the bloody thing to come down. Over half an hour worth of effort, and then I had to get changed again, cos a. I had laddered my stockings and b. I hadn't got any shoes that went with my skirt. And of course it ended being a total costume change cos the top didn't go with the trousers. Then the necklace didn't go with the top. And the ear-rings didn't go with the necklace etc. etc. etc.

I thought I was stressed before, but this year was just ridiculous.

My friend Jan said why didn't you just pull the zip up and worry about getting them off later. I pointed out that I had a hard enough trouble getting my contact lenses out after a few drinks, without sitting on my bed half sozzled trying to thread a very sharp carving fork prong through a very little gap at 2 in the morning. I'd have ended up having to phone Bryan for some first aid.

As well as not thinking maybe we should make another resolution to work on making sure we enjoy the festivites this year!!!!

Love

Charlie

[nomorepanic]

Charlie

We missed your funny posts over the Xmas/New Year period.

Now you are back with more ;)

Sorry you had a bad time but you made me laugh and I am sure you are laughing about it now (well I hope you are)

xxx

Nicola

[Lottie32]

Hi Nic

Yes I am laughing now. Missed everybody over Xmas, but just couldn't cope with logging on.

On Xmas Eve, i moved offices, and I now have to share a modem. Unfortunately, i have been linked to one that the reps use to sink with, and my office (with large clear glass window) is right next door to the MD's. I've usually got something on in the evenings, what with horses and the gym, so I don't get time to log on at night.

Consequently, I haven't been able to visit the site as much as I would like to. Every time I log on, one of the reps comes in and asks if I'm on the internet!

Glad I was missed though, it's nice to be appreciated!

Next year I'm going to try cryogenics from the 23rd December to the 4th January, and avoid the whole bloody "festive" nonsense completely. Either that, or put my first aid skills to work, and accompany Bryan on his rounds! (Actually, other than Josh, he does bear a passing resemblance to Sid James - ooh err)(Big LOL)


Charlie