superted
30-04-09, 16:45
hi guys,
its not often i use the forums, i usually use the chatroom. but today i read a thread that got to me about the severity of one persons disorder compared to others. now i feel that my panic disorder is as severe as they get but i also think that anyone who suffers from this may feel the same no matter how severe. i struggle to leave the house somedays not even able to get out of bed, i have lost my job, i struggle to sleep due to disturbing thoughts and sweating and jumping, its like im not in control of my mind. i can be going along then suddenly i cant even walk and everything just becomes spaced and i feel like im gonna collapse. i am too scared to take meds and cant even see doctor as im too scared, cant go hospital even. i just live in a world of panic and anxiety that is unbeleivably terrorfying. i was diagnosed with anxiety 15 yrs ago and it came back with avengence in december. i think it had been resurfacing slowly then suddenly i had a massive panic attack in december and since then everyday has been hell. even when im not anxious im thinking about it untill i make myself anxious. i think about my in abilty to sleep properly and how i felt out of control as i drifted off and that makes me panic in the day. so with regards to severity of disorder i worry i am alone sometimes. this illness changes its intensity and symptoms to unbeleivable lenghts. people always say i should see doc, but why, there is nothing they can do as i wont take meds and i dont understand how anyone can change the way i think. some days i just sit and cry coz i just want this to go but my mind just wont let go. i dont work, socialise or anything, this is ruining my life and the thread i read today got to me coz without naming names his description of his symptons were heaven to me, if only mine were that simple. sorry to maon guys but had to get this off my chest and maybe reach out to see if anyone understands the severity that i feel this disorder and has any good news stories or tips.
thanks guys
superted..........
p.s i forgot to mention that when i panic i loose total control, everything becomes very distirbing, my vision changes and i freeze with absolute terror. i cant even explain how i properly feel.
its not often i use the forums, i usually use the chatroom. but today i read a thread that got to me about the severity of one persons disorder compared to others. now i feel that my panic disorder is as severe as they get but i also think that anyone who suffers from this may feel the same no matter how severe. i struggle to leave the house somedays not even able to get out of bed, i have lost my job, i struggle to sleep due to disturbing thoughts and sweating and jumping, its like im not in control of my mind. i can be going along then suddenly i cant even walk and everything just becomes spaced and i feel like im gonna collapse. i am too scared to take meds and cant even see doctor as im too scared, cant go hospital even. i just live in a world of panic and anxiety that is unbeleivably terrorfying. i was diagnosed with anxiety 15 yrs ago and it came back with avengence in december. i think it had been resurfacing slowly then suddenly i had a massive panic attack in december and since then everyday has been hell. even when im not anxious im thinking about it untill i make myself anxious. i think about my in abilty to sleep properly and how i felt out of control as i drifted off and that makes me panic in the day. so with regards to severity of disorder i worry i am alone sometimes. this illness changes its intensity and symptoms to unbeleivable lenghts. people always say i should see doc, but why, there is nothing they can do as i wont take meds and i dont understand how anyone can change the way i think. some days i just sit and cry coz i just want this to go but my mind just wont let go. i dont work, socialise or anything, this is ruining my life and the thread i read today got to me coz without naming names his description of his symptons were heaven to me, if only mine were that simple. sorry to maon guys but had to get this off my chest and maybe reach out to see if anyone understands the severity that i feel this disorder and has any good news stories or tips.
thanks guys
superted..........
p.s i forgot to mention that when i panic i loose total control, everything becomes very distirbing, my vision changes and i freeze with absolute terror. i cant even explain how i properly feel.