Unsupportive Family

[MamboCat]

I'm in a difficult situation, which may take some explaining.

Due to a number of reasons, I've been forced to move back with my family, I can't move out again and they're not being very supportive of me. Like most people during the recession, they're struggling financially and are on tenterhooks but in general they have always pretty mean towards me. The only way which I can demonstrate it is to say they see me as the Meg Griffin of the family!

I'm always at the butt of their jokes, I'm picked on and teased or I'm being shouted down for having different opinions to them (they're a tad on the racist side). I'm always seen as the least important person in the household, my ideas, wishes etc are always considered last. My stepdad is very demanding; he has to have things his way or not at all, he complains a lot and my mum rarely stands up to him unless they're having a personal argument then she makes continuous snide comments at him. Sometimes I wonder why they are married as they don't seem to respect each other much. My sister is VERY possessive and anything she sees as an encroachment on her property or something she's doing, she snaps. Maybe she has her own psychological problems that she hasn't told me about but sometimes she is a horrible person to be around. My family don't seem to understand all of this isn't helping me beat anxiety. I have some CBT tapes which I take 30 mins a day to practice on, they see it as a massive snub but I can't tell them what I'm doing if all I get is aggro from them.

I'd like to hear how others with diifficult family situations have coped, or if its possible to just blank them out of the process of getting better?

[Dinkysdouble]

Hi,

Are you seeing a psychologist or having any help from your doctor?

The reason I ask, is that quite a few years ago I had a complete breakdown when my partner was killed in Ireland and I delevoped agrophobia too.

I was seeing a psycologist in my home on a fortnightly basis and after telling him that my brother and sister (grown up btw with families of their own but living in the same village as me) had completely cut my out of their lives because they were ashamed of me for having a breakdown!!

To cut a long story short, the psycologist said, "stop trying to make amends with your sister and brother, you keep getting hurt when you do" he advised me to get on with my own life and recovery and think of me - not what other people thought of me, just think what Chris needed and wanted for a change.

I have found this hard I must say but slowly getting there, I have a wonderful grandson of 14 who lives with me and suffers from OCD and together we have built a life for ourselves without family.

I wish you well, but sometimes the stress of trying to get family to understand is detrimental to striving for recovery for yourself, think of yourself you are worth it.

All the best

Chris

[Carefree]

Wow, I remember this situation when I was a bit younger - I'd finished uni and had returned back home briefly while I sorted myself out. My father has a huge chip on his shoulder about me being smarter than him, and he feels insecure around me - he never went to uni etc etc

So what is normal for many families, or would even be an enjoyable reunion for many turned into a disaster. My father started turning my mum and sister against me after only a few days, feeding them lies and clouding their judgement. By the end of the first month the situation had escalated where I was holed away in the spare room and wasn't eating just because there was too much tension, actually hate is a better word. It was unbearable. I was trapped, I had no car, no friends there and was miles away from anywhere worthwhile visiting.

That situation I thought would never end, I actually felt like cinderella lol :roflmao:


Those days are behind me thank God, but I really can relate to you, I haven't filled you in on half the nonsense I went through, but rest assured, it wasn't pretty.


Anyway, best thing for you to do is get out of that house and get on your own two feet. How you do that, only you can work out, but get started on it right away. You can rebuild the relationships easier when you aren't all under each other's way, if that's what you desire. The longer you stay there, the more negative patterns are going to set in place and bring you down daily which really will knock your self-esteem right through the floor.