Bill
04-05-09, 02:45
I was watching Britains Got Talent last night. Did anyone else see it? Did you see the poor fella at the end who had always suffered from stage fright? It was really sad beause he has a terrific voice that everyone should hear! After his performance, he was very emotional:weep: and really trembling because it had been such an ordeal for him.:unsure:
I'm sure alot of people would have related with how he felt. Imagine having to sing to an audience knowing also it could also be broadcast to millions on Tv.:scared15:
After his performance which was rightly greeted with a standing ovation, one of the judges said to him, "You are very special" but then he added "You just need to have more self-belief!". It brought the poor fella to tears but what the judge said was quite right.
He needed self-belief for himself to overcome his fear but looking at it from another angle, the public had also been denied the privilege of hearing such a beautiful voice because of his fear! As the judge said afterwards, he really liked him....but the judge would never have met him had the fella not faced his fear.
It made me think- So often people say "I really want to go somwhere or do something etc but how do I ease my fear?" Medications? Well, yes they can help. Confront full on? Well, yes it can work but it can also ruin your confidence if you fail. So then what?
Well, as the judge said....self-belief. That's what I feel it really comes down to. You can either stay in a shell of safety or risk coming out so others can be granted the pleasure to meet you.:hugs:
So really, it's not about "How do I ease my fear". It's more about "How do I go about building self-belief to enable me to go out without feeling fear". That's the tricky bit I know!:shrug:
Ok...one day you go out, you feel absolutely fine, then half way down the road you pop into a crowded shop. You suddenly start feeling giddy, you can't breathe, you feel trapped...so you dash out and home again. You then start pondering over what happened. You begin to worry about it happening again. The next day you start thinking about going back to the shop but immediately you start feeling anxious because you're afraid it'll happen again. You therefore decide you can't face it so stay in....you then stay in the next day...then the next...and the more you think about going back to the shop, the more you feel you can't breathe even at just the thought of going out.....so you stay put.
So what changed from that day you went out feeling fine to how you are now? You lost your self-belief. In other words, you lost your confidence and it was replaced by fear.
So how do you get rid of your fear that's made its home in you? Put simply, it's remembering how you felt and were "thinking" the day you went out before it all went wrong. Were you thinking about what if you feel panic on that day? No. And nor were you thinking about panic the previous time you went out or the previous time to that....because you'd never encountered panic before.
So why did it happen on that day? Well, maybe you just had a bad night or been under alot of stress which had been building up without you realising.
Whatever the cause, (and there always is a cause), sometimes it's not always easy to ease the stress in our lives but we can learn how to remain "cool" under pressure and learn ways to keep our minds and bodies in our control which then can help along the way to getting back to how we were. Tools needed would be things such as learning to breathe correctly, adopting a positive attitude, learning how to "ignore" instead of fighting our fear and any symptoms, learning to think "outwardly" instead of "inwardly about our feelings etc.
If when you go out you then have your tools to hand, you then have something to fall back on that you know works IF panic strikes again. These tools then also provide you with support and renewed confidence. Your self-belief gradually becomes re-installed because you've then learnt to no longer be afraid of panics because you learn they can't harm you.
Fear breeds fear but Building Confidence breeds Self-Belief which then defeats fear......it just takes time and practise using the correct way of thinking with the right mental approach together with using the right techniques you've been taught.......and the best bit is....you can even teach yourself!:hugs:
I'm sure alot of people would have related with how he felt. Imagine having to sing to an audience knowing also it could also be broadcast to millions on Tv.:scared15:
After his performance which was rightly greeted with a standing ovation, one of the judges said to him, "You are very special" but then he added "You just need to have more self-belief!". It brought the poor fella to tears but what the judge said was quite right.
He needed self-belief for himself to overcome his fear but looking at it from another angle, the public had also been denied the privilege of hearing such a beautiful voice because of his fear! As the judge said afterwards, he really liked him....but the judge would never have met him had the fella not faced his fear.
It made me think- So often people say "I really want to go somwhere or do something etc but how do I ease my fear?" Medications? Well, yes they can help. Confront full on? Well, yes it can work but it can also ruin your confidence if you fail. So then what?
Well, as the judge said....self-belief. That's what I feel it really comes down to. You can either stay in a shell of safety or risk coming out so others can be granted the pleasure to meet you.:hugs:
So really, it's not about "How do I ease my fear". It's more about "How do I go about building self-belief to enable me to go out without feeling fear". That's the tricky bit I know!:shrug:
Ok...one day you go out, you feel absolutely fine, then half way down the road you pop into a crowded shop. You suddenly start feeling giddy, you can't breathe, you feel trapped...so you dash out and home again. You then start pondering over what happened. You begin to worry about it happening again. The next day you start thinking about going back to the shop but immediately you start feeling anxious because you're afraid it'll happen again. You therefore decide you can't face it so stay in....you then stay in the next day...then the next...and the more you think about going back to the shop, the more you feel you can't breathe even at just the thought of going out.....so you stay put.
So what changed from that day you went out feeling fine to how you are now? You lost your self-belief. In other words, you lost your confidence and it was replaced by fear.
So how do you get rid of your fear that's made its home in you? Put simply, it's remembering how you felt and were "thinking" the day you went out before it all went wrong. Were you thinking about what if you feel panic on that day? No. And nor were you thinking about panic the previous time you went out or the previous time to that....because you'd never encountered panic before.
So why did it happen on that day? Well, maybe you just had a bad night or been under alot of stress which had been building up without you realising.
Whatever the cause, (and there always is a cause), sometimes it's not always easy to ease the stress in our lives but we can learn how to remain "cool" under pressure and learn ways to keep our minds and bodies in our control which then can help along the way to getting back to how we were. Tools needed would be things such as learning to breathe correctly, adopting a positive attitude, learning how to "ignore" instead of fighting our fear and any symptoms, learning to think "outwardly" instead of "inwardly about our feelings etc.
If when you go out you then have your tools to hand, you then have something to fall back on that you know works IF panic strikes again. These tools then also provide you with support and renewed confidence. Your self-belief gradually becomes re-installed because you've then learnt to no longer be afraid of panics because you learn they can't harm you.
Fear breeds fear but Building Confidence breeds Self-Belief which then defeats fear......it just takes time and practise using the correct way of thinking with the right mental approach together with using the right techniques you've been taught.......and the best bit is....you can even teach yourself!:hugs: