I managed to stop a panic attack...

[HelpMePlz]

Ok, so my panic disorder dates back to february, 2006.
I had a almost borderline psychotic episode out of nowhere while smoking weed, I had been smoking weed daily for 2years prior to this so this was a shock.
I had so many panic attacks at once I just lied down on the floor crying, screaming, shaking, contemplating suicide...
No clue what it was, no way I was going to be able to move, or talk, I knew I was either dead, or going to go psychotic within the next 5minutes.

This was no normal panic attack with it's peak after 10min.
This s**t peaked at 10seconds and lasted 2months.
Yes, 2 f**king months, 1 panci attack, NONSTOP, EVEN IN MY SLEEP.
I went crazy from insomnia and fear.
I smashed my TV, some windows and stabbed myself in the leg to try to divert my attention and get out of this s**t.
I was helpless.

3 months later(without having left the house) (still having 30-40 panic attacks a day) I was put on heavy amounts of diazepam. (had to pay my doctor extra to visit my house)
I quit my job (over phone) and school.

All life has been since then is my house, pills, OCD 24/7 that has made me literally psychotic and panic.

Today, sitting upstairs(pills downstairs) I ofcourse panicked (I always have the pill bottles in my pants, but forgot (damn valium memory).
so I get this normal panic attack, I start thinking "this is it, kill yourself, get over with it!", my physical me ran down the stairs (me completely dissociated or Depersonalized and derealized if you wish).
I reached for the pills and realized (while my adrenaline was still pumping) that I hadn't panicked...
I managed to stop it a millisecond or something before it completely consumed me.

What does this mean?

is there hope for me? I can't really live like this anymore...
it's either suicide, overdose or I start walking around naked talking korean or some s**t seeing pink flying dragons soon if I don't spontanously recover...




ANYONE in the same boat? (lol)
Everytime I read someone's panic/ocd/dpdr story, I cry of envy.
I feel like, sure we're both in a boat, but I'm in the middle of the sea, in the perfect storm on titanic(after it hit the iceberg and broke in half) and the rest of you haven't even left the shore...


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[bel25]

I promise you there is hope every panic attack sufferer and everyone can recover. You just need to find your own way of coping as it's different for everyone. Here's some things that might help:
-counselling
-therapy (can get referred through your GP)
-talking to anyone (friends, family etc) especially during an attack- it can be a good distraction technique
-reading books about PA
-breathing techniques
-distraction (reading, watching a funny/happy film)
Really hope you're feeling better. Once you've found a
-relaxation tapes/cds- can use these during the day if they help but also at night too, can help you to relax
once you'd found a strategy to cope i promise you'll feel better.
take care
xxx

[Nicola_lou]

well done hun, you step up to it. yes you realised you could controll it by taking notice of it. be strong yes you may feel ur in the middle of the sea but looks like someone spotted you. yes there is hope for you, you can now see it thats the first step.
i know its dam hard but dont think bad things you regret, have you tried reading claire weeks or getting any cbt book from libary, if ur anything like me then you can keep still but read what you can day by day, she help me alot.
you feeling any better now hun?

[Valka]

That just sounds intensely HORRIBLE, no other word for it. I'm so sorry to hear what you've been going through. I can understand why you feel distanced from people whose disorders are less severe than yours, but I can assure you there's other people in your shoes. Most of them probably just don't get around to asking for help or posting in here.

But yes - I think and I know there's definitely hope! I've known people to recover from incredibly bad psychotic episodes and non-stop panic. I had the worst panic attack of my life 4 weeks ago (after ages of not having any), then another 2 days later, and I was so scared it was just there to stay. It felt so massive I didn't think I could ever gain control over it. Since then I've been able to stop at least 5 big ones and maybe 5 smaller ones. When I feel an attack coming on I either:
a) Get up and run/jump on the spot and sing/make sounds - if I'm at my house or somewhere I can get up and move about. This seems to channel the panic into physical effort instead.
b) Concentrate on taking deep, slow breaths and stretch my arms behind my head and wiggle about in my seat - if I'm out somewhere and can't actually get up. Not as effective as the first method but it's helped distract me from the raw, overwhelming panic. For me, panic attacks are such a horribly physical thing - this primal fear just seems to paralyse me out of nowhere. That's why I'm starting to concentrate on physical ways to fight back, along with the mental stuff. I know you're not in a state where you can be very physically active at the moment, but I find that I feel most relaxed when I'm doing something physical, like running or cycling. It's like my body feels more connected.
Anyway, I hope this forum is a help to you as it's been to me. I only recently stumbled upon it and I don't feel nearly as lonely with my anxiety anymore.

[sunndyd]

when i was 17 i had not stop anxiety/panic attacks for about 2yrs and yes i got to that point of dispair where i thought it me or this i actually ended up in a day hospital and i had to walk for about 20mins to get there which was hard work as the anxiety had made me agraphobic i was there for about 2yrs the activitys they did there help, like group relaxation and stuff like window paint and art really helped i was on what i thought was an antidepressant and a tablet for aniexty but i found out the other day the anxiety tablets was a anti-pycotic drug! but the main point is i did get better. I am havin a relapse which was brought on by been bullied by a dr to take an antidepressant i really did not want to take..i will be tryin diazepam 2morrow to see if that helps as the propranol i felt didnt help much. But i do know from personal experiance is that it wont last for ever and i will be better soon x x x