pandawanda
04-05-09, 23:39
It all started two months ago when I came back from a three week vacation in Florida. There I walked 3 miles every day, ate healthy, and just relaxed. I got back home and new that I was in for some crazy times. I am 18 years old and I started to look for an apartment that I was going to live in alone. I started to have trouble going to the bathroom, and I began to worry a lot about it. I was constantly thinking about it and thinking that I had something wrong with me. (I have no history of anxiety, but I've always been a worry wart.) Then a few days after that problem started, I began to have chest pains. I was scared to fall asleep because I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I of course started to lose myself to the world of Google and WebMD and started to diagnose myself with many different problems. I also had been watching episodes of Grey's Anatomy, which is why I think I suddenly became so scared that I had something serious. I went to the doctors and did an EKG, it came back fine. I had blood work done, and that came back perfect. My blood pressure was fine, and my Dr. started me on busiprone.
About a week later (I stopped taking the busiprone because it gave me nightmares) I started to get headaches. My immediate thought was that it was because of a brain tumor or a brain aneurism. And now I cannot get that out of my mind. I have other symptoms - my arms sometimes feel funny, I get pain behind my eyes, fatigue, sometimes nausea, I sometimes shake, feel so weird, legs hurt. I know this is all made worse by searching on the internet but I can't help myself. I live in hell thinking that I have a brain tumor and that I'm going to die soon. It's all I can think about and even thouhg I know deep down I don't have a brain tumor, and that my anxiety is what's causing every single symptom, I just can't get it off my mind. PArt of me just wants to sleep all day because it's the only escape I can get from the thoughts. I want to go to the Dr. to put my mind at rest, but part of me is so terrified that they're going to find a tumor that I have canceled an appointment that I have made and am scared to go.
Does anyone have any ideas to help me get my mind off of it? I feel like I am going crazy and that I'm just going to pass out because of the fear. Sometimes I sit at home and start to cry from being so frustrated. And of course I think that the anxiety and frustration is just another symptom of the tumor. My mom says that if I had brain cancer that there would have been something irregular with my blood and the Dr. would have seen that, but I don't believe her. I know I should go to the Drs but I'm just so terrified. I hate this. I want to live a normal, anxiety, pain free life.
Thank you for reading.
About a week later (I stopped taking the busiprone because it gave me nightmares) I started to get headaches. My immediate thought was that it was because of a brain tumor or a brain aneurism. And now I cannot get that out of my mind. I have other symptoms - my arms sometimes feel funny, I get pain behind my eyes, fatigue, sometimes nausea, I sometimes shake, feel so weird, legs hurt. I know this is all made worse by searching on the internet but I can't help myself. I live in hell thinking that I have a brain tumor and that I'm going to die soon. It's all I can think about and even thouhg I know deep down I don't have a brain tumor, and that my anxiety is what's causing every single symptom, I just can't get it off my mind. PArt of me just wants to sleep all day because it's the only escape I can get from the thoughts. I want to go to the Dr. to put my mind at rest, but part of me is so terrified that they're going to find a tumor that I have canceled an appointment that I have made and am scared to go.
Does anyone have any ideas to help me get my mind off of it? I feel like I am going crazy and that I'm just going to pass out because of the fear. Sometimes I sit at home and start to cry from being so frustrated. And of course I think that the anxiety and frustration is just another symptom of the tumor. My mom says that if I had brain cancer that there would have been something irregular with my blood and the Dr. would have seen that, but I don't believe her. I know I should go to the Drs but I'm just so terrified. I hate this. I want to live a normal, anxiety, pain free life.
Thank you for reading.