Fear of going into hospital

[PoppyC]

Hi
I am due to see the kidney consultant today for a chat about having a kidney biopsy. A few people on the site have been really reassuring and helpful regarding my worries about this in their messages to me.
I woke panicking at 5am and I am dreading going to the hospital.
I have been in and out of hospital so many times in past year and the last time, was when my Dad died suddenly at christmas and then my mum ended up very ill in hospital 2 days later for a few weeks - we thought she was going to die. The thought of going into the hospital makes me feel ill ! Its the association of all the things that have happened and the hospital itself. I am trying to be logical about it but the anxiety is overwhelming me.
I am taking Citalopram and this does help me but today I am really anxious - I feel like I could do with taking another tablet today but not sure if I could do this - doubling the dose?
I know I have nothing to worry about compared to what some people go through and are going through on this site too, but I just feel so sick and anxious about going to see the consultant and this is just for the consultation to discuss the biopsy and not for the biopsy itself.
Sorry to whinge :weep:

[PoppyC]

Just found out my appt is tomorrow and not today!!!!!!! :lac::wacko: I made a mistake with the date that I wrote down - I only found out when I rung the hospital to ask them a question about taking in a water sample! :lac::mad: Boyfriend not too impressed - he booked the afternoon off work and now cant take tomorrow afternoon off, so I am now going to have to go alone.:lac:

[Peggysl]

Aaawww Poppy

I know exactly how you feel. Absolutely horrible. But you'll be fine, I promise. It's the thought of it, and you're thinking the worst, but it's NEVER as bad as you think.
I would take another half a tab only, but check with your GP first. You need to be calm for such an important appointment so you can absorb everything that's discussed.
I wish I could go with you tomorrow!

Love Pegs XX

[Peggysl]

Hey, and the biopsy won't be as bad as you think!

Pegs X

[fairyloveheart]

:flowers: Hi Poppy
I have a good feeling that everything will be ok for you! I always worry about getting the date for things wrong and I know one day my worry about that will make me get the date wrong!
Best of luck for tomorrow
xxx

[PoppyC]

Thanks Pegs and Fairyloveheart! Will let you know how my appt goes. Hope things go as well as they can do for you, Pegs, with your appointments! Let us know how you get on.:hugs:

[mick_uk]

Good luck tomorrow Poppy, I'm sure it will all go fine :D

mick

[reallyfedup]

Poppy- no benefit taking anything like cital extra as its not going to give any immediate relief... Doesn't work like that. Try rescue remedy love x

[bex1970]

Hope it goes well - keep us all posted. You'll be ok - it's more the fear of getting there that is worse, once you're there you'll cope brilliantly! We'll all be thinking of you.
xx

[PoppyC]

Hi
Thanks for messages everyone!
I went to hospital yesterday and had some good news. I dont need the biopsy - not yet anyway. I have to return every 6 months to the consultant to be checked. Things have not improved but have not got any worse either.
I was so relieved.
I was panicking a lot (even on citalopram) as I entered the hospital. I literally had to talk to myself to tell myself to calm down - I felt my chest was going to cave in on itself and I could sense a panic attack ahead.
I had to walk to the reception area right next to where the cancer unit is and saw a lot of people waiting there to be seen by the cancer specialists, and it really brought it home to me, that I have nothing to moan about at all in comparison. I felt ashamed of myself for moaning about my anxiety sometimes. Some of the people looked so ill and were of all ages - very young through to elderly. I felt so sorry for them. It really made me sit up and think. I know I have my problems but in comparison they are miniscule. It really was a wake up call.