Fear of tumour...

[sensei_deano]

I have been doing my utmost to deal with this, so I am sorry to bother anyone with it but about a month ago I was on the phone to my now ex-girlfriend. In the middle of a totally regular chat I felt a small amount of numbness on my left hand, just below my little finger on outside of hand. This spread up my arm over the next few minutes and further up my neck until it finallly reached my head. Then very soon after my eyesight began to blur quite a bit, and simply has not been the same over 4 weeks later. I still get numb from time to time on both hands and arms, sometimes on both legs too. But my biggest concern is the numbness i seem to have right across the top of my head quite often, I notice it all the more because of the glasses I recently began to wear as I feel it behind my ears where the arms rest, and occasionally on my nose too. I feel a lot of tension inside my head and my sinuses sometimes feel blocked, as do my ears, my eyes sometimes hurt and there is often a feeling of pressure behind them. I am so anxious about it all and i'm at my wits end, as even though I visited my GP and started on Cipramil last week, I am not sure if he has misdiagnosed me or something. My vision is also a constant reminder of how I feel , as is the numbness, which makes it difficult to concentrate on anything else. I asked my GP if he would refer me for an MRI scan on the NHS as this may have helped to ease my mind, but he said he didn't think they would do it considering what I have told him. I apologise for the long post, but I would really appreciate any advice as I am really stressing my poor parents out by mentioning the fact that I think I may have a Brain Tumour, im actually pretty convinced that I do I admit :( I am not socially anxious at all, just extremely worried for my health. I also hate being alone now and have stayed with my cousin since this started. It is not simply short panic attacks, just a constant feeling of anxiousness and worry for my health.

Thanks so much for reading.

Dean x

[removed]

hi Dean
Sorry you feel so worried.
Its not nice and our imagination can really take off sometimes and link minor symptoms, until they become really scary- like a brain tumour.
Numbness in your finger reaching up to your neck and over your head sounds like tense nerves and muscles. Its probably coming from your neck. I get that all the time and I have had physio for it-that sounds more likely than a brain tumour especially if you have seen your doctor.
If you have recently got glasses you would have had a full check up of your eyes at the opticians. They can quite often see if there is anything amiss and obviously they didn't.
Perhaps the prescription for your glasses is too strong- that could account for the vision thing.
Why dont you go back to the optician and tell him of your worries.
It doesnt have to be a brain tumour!
try not to freak too much i'm sure it will be ok
best wishes
Janet c

[sensei_deano]

Well I do hunch my shoulders quite often. Once I notice and bring them back down again, they usually make a noise, probably to do with how tense I have been. Also my cousin noticed that when I walk around now, I tend to have my fists clenched too. And I know my body is tense. My vision actually seemed to become strange before I started wearing glasses, and when I went to see the optician and had my test after the problems, he just told me that nothing seemed to be medically wrong with my eyes. He said though that they were working much too hard when at close proximity to things, and that I would certainly need glasses. I would love this to be a simple problem, but I simply cannot stop fearing the worst, and have already lost a stone in weight in the month since this started :(

[Maddieg]

Hi Dean

I read your post and I can only say that I really understand where you are coming from. I have had numbness and pins and needles on and off in my neck and head for a long time. I have been diagnosed with sinusitus but this numbness feels different. I am also convinced that I have a brain tumour. I went to the doctors a while ago and was prescribed Citalopram (which I think is the same as Cipramil). Having read the possible side-effects I had a panic attack and haven't taken them.

I am obsessing about the numbness and fullness in my head (I've got it at the moment) and other days it just disappears. I've had a really bad day today i've experienced vertigo which has only made me worry about a brain tumour more.

I have got problems with my neck and I think this gives me vertigo, then I panic and this gives me numbness and tingling. Sorry if i'm rambling on but I hope this helps you, feel free to send me a PM if you want to.

Take care and I hope you are feeling better soon.

Love Maddie x
This site has really helped me and i've had lots of reassuring posts since I joined.

[removed]

HI Dean
the cipramil has all sorts of side effects.
I- like Maddie was prescribed it a few weeks ago, and never took it after reading of some of the horrible side effects.
I dont think its good for anyone who- like we seem to be - is so "body aware".
We are bound to interpret every new symptom as something to be worried about.
Maybe you should re-evaluate your treatment and go for some sort of therapy instead?
Janet

[sensei_deano]

I did take cipramil for a few years a while back and after initially finding it tough going, I managed to settle on it. However, this time around is the first time I have ever had any vision or numbness problems, and this really scares me beyond belief. I just feel like crying as I love my parents and family, and don't want them to have to deal with the hurt of losing me. They are fantastic people and it would just kill them, it's not what they deserve. :(

[removed]

Hi again Dean
If you are really convinced you have a brain tumour, nothing anyone will say is going to stop you worrying, because the anxiety has spun out of control.
20 years ago my father died, basically of heart trouble.
A careless remark by someone that heart disease could be hereditary, set me off on a long anxiety state that I too had heart trouble. I was having palpitations and giddy spells etc.
Although the doctor reassurred me and even did an ECG I still believed I was going to die.
In the end, I was in such a state that he sent me to the hospital where i was wired up to a portable machine and sent home for 24 hours to record every moment.
When i went back the next day they took one look at the readings and said I was OK.
It was the best thing my doctor could have done. He knew there was nothing wrong with me but that I needed proof. Needless to say after that I stopped worrying.
What I am trying to say is-although your doctor is being somewhat dismissive,if the only way to stop you worrying is to send you for tests then he should.
If I was you I would make a pest of myself until he refers you on.
You say you love your parents a lot. They must be worried about the state you are in.
Maybe you should try to bring the matter to a head with your GP?
Janet x

[sensei_deano]

I agree, I really do think I need to have the scan. I would literally jump up and hug the doctor if the scan came back clear!! I just need some relief from this and if only the numbness would maybe stop, or my vision clear up, then I might feel a little better. I love my parents so much yeah, and it is hurting them badly to see this. I want to give them happiness and not grief, doom and gloom. I hope I will be alright.

Dean x

[removed]

trust me every thing will be ok
Good luck- thinking of you
Janet x

[sensei_deano]

Thank you Janet, will do my best to manage. The numbness has eased off a bit this morning, but my problem is that I can't stop worrying that it will come back again, and part of me is waiting for it to happen :( Also had quite a lot of pressure on my sinuses last night too.

Dean x

[SFAOK]

Hi there. I can relate to this.

I've been convinced that I have a brain tumor for the past 4 months. Here's my symptom list that backed this up:

Wake up every day with a headache.
A headache that lasted 2 weeks.
Headaches all day.
Eye pain (migraine)
Dizzyness
Feelings of Unreality
Nausea
Blurred Vision
Flashes in Vision
Blocked sinus
numbness in head
Weakness in left sided limbs
Leftward deviation when walking
off ballance
tinitus in ears
ears feeling full
problems swollowing
pins and needles / tingling in left limbs
Numbness of little and ring fingers every day when waking up.
Tingling/numbness in said fingers that lasted for days
balance problems


It seems it was all ANXIETY.

I've just come back from a 3 week holiday in the south of France. Me and my girlfriend travelled down there in the back of my parents motor home. I was feeling terrible for the first few days (i.e the long trip down), and I was convinced that I wouldn't return. I was so depressed I could bearly move. My back hurt. I had huge pains in my abdomen. Plus most of the symptoms above.

The turning point came when we arrived in France. I was so pre-occupied with the alien-ness of the situation that I wasn't looking inward anymore. The big event that turned things around was that I was looking at a menu in French at a cafe on the first day in France and suddenly I felt all light headed, and the deperonalisation brain fog decended. That's when I realised that my biggest 'brain tumor' symptom was anxiety related. Once I realised this, all my symptoms simply faded away over the next few days. I returned to the UK yesturday a new man. My IQ is up 30 points or so, and I feel more alive than I've done in months.

The moral of the story? If you were anxious before these symptoms started to appear, then they are almost certainly manifestations. I had SO many seemingly 'brain tumor' linked symptoms, and they've all mysteriously dissapeared.

I'm not out of the woods yet, and I am fully prepared for anxiety 'blips' in the future - but I believe I've taken the biggest step to full recovery by accepting that my brain tumor symptoms were a fabrication.

EDIT : The numbness in your little finger and outside of the hand is due to disturbance to the 'ulnar' nerve, which you'll find in your elbow. As I mentioned above, I usually woke up every day and my little and ring finger on my left hand would be completely numb. I'm still not sure if the nerve gets trapped at ground zero (i.e the elbow), or if its trapped in my shoulder or neck, but its nothing at all to do with your brain. I've had two GP's and two oncologists explain that to me. Brain tumors simply don't behave like that. Your arm would go weaker and weaker, it wouldn't just start numbing like that.

Search the forums - I remember reading a post by someone saying that their little finger and chopping part of the hand goes numb when they are on the phone. I was looking into the exact same thing when I found it.

[in1peace]

Hi Dean,
I get the same symptoms too. I have been pretty much panic-free for a few weeks and this morning I woke with a numb and tingly thumb. Immediately I started thinking that I really must have a brain tumor and that my panic must have been caused by it. Until I phoned my mom. She said, "Carpel Tunnel, you use the computer all the time!" And then I told my husband about it and he said, "I wake most mornings with tingling in both my hands, even if I haven't slept on them. It goes away after a while." I looked at him in disbelief and said, "Sheesh! You should have told me this MONTHS ago when I first started to panic, I might have calmed down quicker!!" It is soooo WEIRD to realize that the brain you once relied on to give you accurate information can actually trick your body into real symptoms!
Go get a brain scan if you can. Then maybe everything will clear up. I got one.
Hoping all is well!

"Honey, if ya ain't feelin' the bumps in the road, ya ain't goin' nowhere!" (A wise Georgia Granny's take on living life to the fullest! LOL!)

[sensei_deano]

Thanks everybody, some great posts and info there that helped reassure me to an extent, I appreciate the time taken to answer my post. Yesterday just before bed time I found that the numbness was at the back of my right leg, and had also gone up my back, which is where i can mainly feel it now. Can nerves and anxiety really have an effect on that area of the body? Even the bottom of my scrotum has became numb to an extent [:I] Sounds crazy I know, but it does worry me. Im not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing that it affects both sides of my body and not just one however. I also feel really strange if getting a shower as there is usually a strange sensation left after I was numb. The numbness in my head is pretty much always there, but the severity of it changes. I did manage to get a referral to the neurologist from my doctor after pretty much pleading with him, but he didnt seem to take what I was feeling seriously, saying that they didnt typically pay a lot of attention to numbness. Now I have a few months waiting list to contend with I suppose. Above anything I just hope that it wont be life threatening. Would just love some peace from this to get on with my life. Thanks again very much.

Dean xx

[Maddieg]

Hi all,

What a brill post from SFAOK. Reading your symptoms list i have all of those and have been convinced that i have a brain tumour.

I saw a fab GP on Friday who took ages listening to me and gave me some balance checks, eye checks and it appears that my numbness and dizziness could be caused by ankolysing spondilitis! which is basically arthritis in the back and neck. Ive had a blood test for this and am waiting the results.

I've also started taking the Citalopram that has been sitting in my drawer for a month because i've felt so ill lately that i needed to try and take some control back from the anxiety. If you read my earlier post this is quite a step for me!

Dean i get the numbness in my big toe sometimes! It seems that anxiety isn't fussy about which part of your body it strikes!

Take care and keep in touch

Maddie xx

[sensei_deano]

Maddie, I certainly do realise what a big step it is to take the Citalopram. It scared me witless when I first started taking it, but the feelings you get occasionally when taking it subsided for me within a week. It may take slightly longer or may not even be there for you, but I think that if you feel in dire need of help with your anxiety, that it is a very good idea to take them for the time being, just so you can get a foothold in life again, and not have the anxiety beating you back down every day. It has certainly eased my constant anxiety and I can sit around for a while every day in peace now, but now I just worry what is causing the nerve problems I seem to be having. Once the neurologist sees me, I will hopefully mellow out a bit :) Just all about getting through the coming months now, but at least I am not behaving hysterically anymore, as I felt it was having an awful effect on my family. Good luck with the medication and thanks for your advice. If you have any questions about any side effects that Citalopram may cause for you, PM me anytime :)

Dean xx

[Maddieg]

Dean

Thanx for your message, im alternating between feeling thankful for citalopram and scared witless but i guess i can't feel any worse than i do at the moment :(

Hysterical is a good word for how i feel at the moment and your right it does affect your family.

I hope you get reassurance soon and please keep in touch

Love Maddie xx

[sensei_deano]

Trust me Maddie, be thankful for the Citalopram as given time it can really be great for your depression and help you out a hell of a lot. It certainly did for me a few years ago when I went through a really tough time. Now with the health anxiety problems I am having, it has really helped me to get a foothold against my anxiety and get on with my life a little. If you just give it a few weeks and then compare it to how you feel at the moment, I am sure you will see a marked improvement in your mood by then. Things can only get better, just have faith and give things a little time, and I'm confident you will improve just as I have. Just have faith and message me with any questions you may have about the side effects or how you feel about the Citalopram. If I can help you out in any way, I will :)

Take care and the very best of luck.

Dean xx

[Maddieg]

Hi Dean,

Thanks, I'm still taking Citalopram-Day 5!!!!!

I still feel a bit dizzy and anxious but not as bad as i was last week. I'm also yawning a lot? Don't know if that is anything to do with the tablets?

I'm off to Dublin tomorrow and I'm nervous about flying and also the last time i stayed away from home i had a massive panic attack so i am anxious about that and any side effects that may develop while i'm away from home!

Anyway, i'll let you know how it goes.

Hope you are doing ok, take care

Maddie xx

[Meg]

Take care - you can always log on here from there if you need a bit of help..

But hopefully you'll be having too much of a good time.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[sensei_deano]

Hello Maddie.

Yeah the yawning is VERY familiar to me lol! I take my pill quite late because it does tend to make me feel rather tired. With it already being day 5 I don't think you will be greatly affected by any new side effects while away to be honest. I certainly know I am over the worst of mine by now anyway :) Just try your utmost to relax and concentrate on having fun in Dublin, and I guarantee that your symptoms will lessen once you do so. I myself am off on a few trips this week, first a short journey to visit friends in Crewe, and then down to London for a concert on Friday. I am going to do everything in my power while away to concentrate on absolutely nothing but having a really great time and putting my anxiety as far back in my mind as I possibly can :)

Keep me up to date with how you are doing with your medication and with your anxiety in general, though I think things may well move in the right direction now. You said yourself you don't feel as bad as you did recently, so that's certainly a great start. Long may it continue.

You take care of yourself and I look forward to hearing what a great time you had while away ;)

Dean xx

[Maddieg]

Thanks Meg and Dean

Meg I will have my fifteen year old son with me so if i need to get into an internet cafe he can escort me without me having to panic about it lol.

Dean I hope that you really enjoy your trips and we'll catch up when we both get back feeling positive :D

Speak to you when i get back

Love Maddie xx

[KellyS]

Hi!
I too have fears of a tumour.
I clench my jaws all the time and this gives me tight sensations in my head and neck. I have visual disturbances also. I took myself to a&e last week because of flashing lights in my eyes. Doctor had a good look n said all was fine.
But i think you convince yourself of something. You talk yourself into it then it is even harder for anybody to reassure you otherwise!
You have my total understanding!

[KellyS]

Those of you on ctalopram.... do you find it better taking it at night time then?
Does it make anybody feel a little nauseous?

kelly

[jadeyjade]

dean did you ever find anything out? you probably dont use this now (hopefully you're over the anxiety!) but if you do, i hope you can reply. or anyone else? i have the tingles, migraines, weakness sometimes down my face and whole right side, felt nauseas all week and just aches and pains everywhere. i need someone :(