Time to share a little

[Kinkajou]

OK

I have been getting treatment for panic attacks etc over several years but I have never been able to tell the therapist or anyone about the panic attacks cause/real symtoms. I don't know why. When i think about telling someone it feels really freaky and scary and brings on the panic feelings.

So I thought I would post it on here. Self help kind of thing.

OK. So it seems to me that my panic attacks only ever occur when there are other people around. For example, on a bus, plane, train etc in a car with other people, or in a meeting etc. The smaller the space the worse the anxiety. Especially if it's something you can't just walk out of. Sometimes I feel depersonalised and detached and freaky, then it kind reaches a crescendo where I can't believe other people don't notice I'm freaking out. Then I start shifting round in my chair fidgeting etc to try to relieve the anxiety. A while ago I started getting the symptom that I needed the loo. I would always be going to the loo, and even after going I would still feel like I needed to go. Then I would get this numb feeling where I couldn't feel my body really or tell what sensations were happening and that really freaked me out because I would be afraid that if I couldn't feel my body I could have lost control of it and I wouldn't know. This made the whole thing of going to the loo become the central feature of my panics. I would escape out of the room/train/bus whatever, and immediately I wouldn't feel like I needed the loo anymore. I suppose in a way it's kind of funny, except that it has seriously affected my life in that I can't attend meetings etc now, dread flights for holidays etc and avoid going out to the cinema. If I do go to the cinema I always sit at the back near the door so I can escape out of there!

The funny thing is I tried to explain this to my cognitive therapist. He said some people who are afraid of flying find it relieves their anxiety to think "Oh well, the plane is going to crash there's nothing I can do" - I can honestly say that I don't think cognitive works because it's the anxiety itself that i'm afraid of!

Sorry for waffling. But if you see some gibbering quaking idiot sitting near the exit in the cinema it's probably me. :D

[seh1980]

hello there,

I'm definitely the gibbering quaking idiot sitting next to you in the back row of the cinema!! :)

I think that most people who have anxiety are scared of the anxiety itself. I know I am. Though we may be scared of enclosed places because let's say, for example, that's where we tend to feel anxious, we are only scared of those places because we believe that that's where the panic will happen. I am still on a waiting list for CBT so don't have any personal experience of it yet but I think that the whole point of it is that it teaches us how to change the negative thinking patterns into positive ones. It's ok to be afraid of the anxiety itself because we can learn how to change that..

Sarah :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[Parker]

Hi Kinkajou.

I think Sarah's right when she says "most people who have anxiety are scared of the anxiety itself".

If you look at things rationally (which I know is easier said than done!) what is there to be scared about sitting in a restaurant, cinema, on a train etc. I know that what I'm scared is that when I get into these situations I will start to feel panicky.

I've also never had CBT but I think the whole point is to make you see that there is nothing to fear in these situations.

[Meg]

Hi,

Its really interesting that throughout your post you spoke only about how you felt.... not about how you thought about things.

**even after going I would still feel like I needed to go**

Would your post make any sense to you if you replaced some of the feels/ feeling with thoughts/ I think

so * even after going I would still 'think' I needed to go*

I feel its numb = I think its gone numb

Spend a bit of time trying to figure out where these feelings come from and what behind the scenes is going on in your brain to convert from a mere sensation to something with meaning that may have a result.

**I can honestly say that I don't think cognitive works because it's the anxiety itself that i'm afraid of!**

I would honestly say that CBT isn't currently sucessful for you because you haven't yet made the connection that anxiety is made up of a whole jumble of thoughts saying ..what if.. it might.. how embarrasing if .. did he notice.. I'm ashamed...I feel silly if...

Try the book - 'whats to say when you talk to yourself' off our reading list on the home page





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[judledoodledoo]

hiya
i definately understand how you feel, it has always been the fear of the attacks that have been my main worry.
I once I was not so afraid of the attacks they didn't happen as much get i
i hope it helped to get it off your chest
Take care
Ju

my world is only as small as my courage

[Piglet]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">
OK. So it seems to me that my panic attacks only ever occur when there are other people around. For example, on a bus, plane, train etc in a car with other people, or in a meeting etc. The smaller the space the worse the anxiety. Especially if it's something you can't just walk out of. Sometimes I feel depersonalised and detached and freaky, then it kind reaches a crescendo where I can't believe other people don't notice I'm freaking out.

<div align="right">Originally posted by Kinkajou - 23 August 2005 : 13:59:06</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Hi Kink,

I'm like this too - 95% of my feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack is because of those reasons. I would also recommend the book Meg said, it makes an interesting read. My waves of fear in those situations are most definately brought on by my thoughts, all the what ifs etc. Alot of the time I do say 'so what' but it's not easy and I'm still working on it.

Love Piglet:)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[emz05]

The toilet problem you mentioned is very similar to what i experienced. I started to feel like i needed to go to the toilet all the time and then would not want to go out in case i needed to go. I built this up in my head until it became what i thought about all the time and caused me to panic.

I am feeling much better now, (i have been using rock rose bach rescue remedy and aconite from Boots pharmacy) and the symptoms of needing the toilet are much much better.

When i am feeling ok i try to rationalise these thoughts and tell myself if i need to go the toilet when i am out it doesn't really matter, no one but me is bothered. So i don't really need to worry about it. When i stopped worrying and thinking about it, it became much better and i didn't feel i needed to go so often.

Hope this helps

Emma x x

Emma x x

[eeyorelover]

The thing that scares me most is the "what ifs" I start having when I am out and an attack comes on. What if I pass out? what if people notice? and my personal favorite "what if people think I'm crazy?
I guess it would be good to be able to say 'so what if I do pass out' but I just haven't gotten to that point yet.
As far as the bathroom problem - I know what you mean - I have gotten to the point where I don't even want to go in there unless I have to go so bad that I'm doing the dance :) - that way I know I really have to go.
your friend,
Sandy
eeyorelover