panic stricken!

[smithy431]

Hi everyone
I'm a newbie so please excuse what could turn into a rambling thread.
I've an appointment at a breast clinic week after next as a lump's been found. Since the dr confirmed this I have had EVERY sort of ache, pain and twinge all in the left half of my body! I suffered from bad anxiety/panic attacks 10 years ago so recognise all the signs - (previous to the dr's appointment nothing was aching etc at all!! ) I'm now convinced it's advanced hence all the neck/back/rib aches and body shakes! I know all the self help remedies to calm myself down but I still get the overriding shear blind panic imagining that I've a certain death sentence above my head...all this not helped with the fact my mum died of bc when I was 14 (I'm 45 now argh)
Please can someone calm me down with some supporting words!!
Wonderful site to let loose your fears
xx

[amandaj]

as tetley said its probably a cyst youve every right to worry we all would in that situation it will all be ok

amandax

[smithy431]

Oh you're so nice, thanks.
I think what freaked me out the most was the doctor said she couldn't sit there and tell me it WAS a cyst, which was understandable, she wouldn't be a doctor if she told me fibs. She said something was there that shouldn't be and it would have to be investigated....fair enough, on a normal day I'd just sit back and think okay, go for it......but instead the black cloud appeared above my head. It feels like I've been on a parallel universe since Tuesday!
Again..THANK YOU X

[agingwuss]

Oh, you poor thing! I know how you're feeling! I was in your position in 2007.
:hugs:
I'm sure you know that 80% of all lumps are nothing at all to worry about but your GP is quite right to send you off to the clinic to get things checked out and you can be 100% sure all is well when all the tests have been done.
I had a very big lump which came up very quickly indeed - which made the consultant very suspicious that it was something horrendous. And then the first biopsy was inconclusive so I had to wait another fortnight! By the end of the fortnight I was just about ready to be sectioned! It turned out to be a rare lump called a phyllodes tumour - and completly benign, tho' they took it out anyway. Don't ever forget that it's so much more likely to be nothing to worry about than something! Be sure to let us all know how things turn out - and come & scream at us in the meantime when you're at the end of your tether!

[smithy431]

I'm completely overcome with all this kindness! Up to now my work mate, well she's more than that, more like a surrogate sister, has been putting up with me going on and it's not fair to offload to her all the time. It's so uplifting to know there are so many nice people around.
Apart from the grotty bits at the doctors I now remember, when my arms were above my head and my chest being watched! that the doctor said there were 'no outward signs'. Taking solice from that at least!
Thanks
Smithy

[miss_moose]

I was terrified when i found a lump in my breast too when i was 20. It turned out to be breast fibroids (6 in total!)

I was terrified at the hospital, mainly because of my agoraphobia and social phobia, i cried when i was being examined and felt so silly.
I explained to the nurse though and she let me wait in a little room on my own instead of the waiting room and i got bumped up the queue. Then i had to have a ultra sound on my breast.
So if it comes to you going to hospital explain about your anxieties around people (even if you have to exhadurate abit) so you can wait away from other and try to calm down.

It's more likely to be a cyst or breast fibroids, very common and you don't need any treatment because they are harmless.

[smithy431]

I'm such an idiot.
Spent most of the day reading posts and managed to calm myself down and what have I done.........
started surfing the web and have started to scare myself again!
Stupid woman!!
Has anyone had lumps at the bottom of the breast? Just above the bra band? That's where mine is???
That's enough for one day and thanks for all the replies to my manic first post. x

[agingwuss]

At the bottom of the boob? Just where mine was - my left one. And it was rather big.
I do feel for you - but please don't don't don't google! I can guarantee it won't help - come onto this site & ask anything you want. I can't guarantee we can give you clinical information but we can offer our own experiences & our support.

[smithy431]

I know I was stupid for googling, now I've got the ache back in my shoulder blade and ribs, constantly clearing my throat and I'm literally sitting at work tensing up as I type. Has anyone else gone down the route of cutting out caffiene? I mentioned it to the doctor that since cutting out chocolate and going on to decaff tea I got relief from the soreness, but she dismissed it straight away. (that didn't help my fretting). I thought what the heck last night and had a small piece of choc and 2 cups of ordinary tea over the evening and that, together with a bit of a prod just to check it hadn't miraculosy disappeared made the lumpy bit quite sore, only finding relief if I slept on the side it is.
I was okay yesterday but I'm a trembling wreck imagining the worst again today. I wish boobs were optional and were able to be snapped on and off when needed!!! (Hang on is that my sense of humour coming back:blush: )
xx

[countrygirl]

What your suffering from is shock - we would all be the same. Glad your sense of humour is still there underneath. I agree wholeheartedly with your comment about bits of us being optional - my Dr said to me not long ago that her job would be so much easier if all females had their boobs and wombs removed once past their use and men had their prostates removed and everyone had their appendix taken out at birth.

There is a much higher chance that your lump is benign and if it is then maybe just a thought but my cousin has benign breast lumps and kept having to have them investigated and after she compeltely cut out diary foods they went away never to return - just a thought.

I have got everything crossed for you at your appt and believe me in my state thats almost an impossibility:flowers:

[bex1970]

I have fibrocystic breasts and have been informed by my breast clinic (and all they do is boobs, so know what they are saying) that cutting out all caffeine and chocolate helps a lot! It can really exacerbate cystic pain and it's one of the first things they recommend to women who have lumpy, painful breasts (they are all GPs and Surgeons, not alternative health). I didn't do it as I love tea (and chocolate) but have heard it can make a huge difference, so your doctor is being daft!

[smithy431]

Thank you Bex and Countrygirl. xx
The doctor mentioned in the referral that the lump was 'irregular', so, as you can guess I've wiped cysts and fibrocystic out of the equation as it mostly says that they are beanlike?? Then I think about painful v painless and go off on one again. you can guess what I'm imagining this time!
This is postively a living nightmare. Half of me wants to ring and see if the appt can be brought forward and half of me doesn't!
Just to prove to myself I feel like gorging on caffiene just to prove it's true. I'm off to listen to some whale music.

Thanks everyone x

[Phoebe1]

Hiya

Hope you're feeling a bit calmer today. Over the years we all pick up the tricks that work for us to bring our anxiety levels down but I find that telling myself my anxiety ridden thoughts of future events are symptoms of the day's anxiety. When calmness eventually kicks in, the thoughts aren't panic stricken - so proving they aren't founded.

I'm really new to this website but in my anxious moments (of which there are many) I'm finding the reassuing posts from people are brilliant and are helping me get through.

As Tetley said, it could be a number of different things I had a lump and panicked & it turned out to be hormonal

Love and prayers for your appointment

Phoebe

[tara1987]

hiya smithy431. even though its harder said then done, but dont worry too much until your appointment! like others have said, it could be anything! it more than likely to be hormonal! and obvoiously the doctor cant tell you its not anything serious, as they have to cover their own bums! (to put it nicely) i was like you, they found a lump on my ovaries and i was convinced it was the worse, but it turned out to be a cyst! hope every thing goes well for you! x

[smithy431]

thanks everyone.
So much for listening to whale music - I'm still on this!!!

[bex1970]

One of my cysts is completely irregular as it is a group of tiny cysts bunched together.... It is not painful to the touch - but I get the painful aches and pains all round. It does not look or feel like a bean....

The websites are not always totally right you know. As any GP/Surgeon will tell you - there are always exceptions to the norm....

[smithy431]

Help!
Finding it hard to deal with again. I wasn't too bad yesterday, managed to calm down a little, but then, when I realise I'd calmed a bit, I started worrying about it again???!
I'm trying soooo hard and in my mind I want to imagine the clinic saying,it's okay, there's nothing to worry about etc, but I've got this overriding fear that they're not.....
Keep checking it's not disappeared and it's not hurting very much now, just uncomfortable but there's aches.
I've really had enough

[tara1987]

hiya smithy431. sorry to hear your all in a panic again! but again just try and clam down, like you have been doing, you were doing well!! i really cant see it being anything serious, especially now youve said its not hurting as much now! i would imagine, if it was anything serious, the pain wouldnt change like that. awww bless ya, i really feel for you babe, just try and stay positive! xxx:winks:

[jessieblue]

Hi Smithy and welcome to the site. I can imagine exactly how you feel. When I was 8 months pregnant I found a lump in my right breast and it was quite big. I went to the gp and he axamined me and said go home and wait for a phone call from my ob consultant. I saw her 2 days later and she referred me urgently to the breast clinic. I was terrified and so sure it was the worst. My sister had cancer when she was 21 (and survived¬!) My gp didn't even say he thought it was not serious, I thought he looked worried by it too. I got myself in such a state I ended up in hosplital with pre eclampsia and had to be induced.

I was seen at breast clinic when my baby was 10 days old and had ultrasound and a needle biopsy. The technician said he didn't think the lump looked sinister from the ultrasound, but I just laid there sobbing while the tests were being done. I was so sure! Well it was just a cyst, produced by too much oestrogen from the pregnancy. They didn't operate just left it to go down on its own, which I think it did. I am too afraid to examine myself now and that was 10 years ago!

I know how scary it is, try not to worry more than you have to, it so easily could be many many other things. Keep strong, the other symptoms will be because you are so stressed, when you are stressed and anxious like that you hold yourself so tightly and tense all your muscles you do give yourself aches and pains. I have done this before many times too. Be kind to yourself and get plenty of rest, your body will feel exhauseted from all the worry.

Please let us know how you get on, if you want to chat please feel free to pm me. I am 46 and having lots of ladies problems myself right now. Can be a funny time of life. x

[smithy431]

I'm getting so frustrated and fed up, as soon as I wake my heart goes into overdrive just for a few seconds, then it's another day to get through.
I cannot think of ANYTHING except this appt! I've never had anything like this occupying my mind 24/7 before . As for thinking ahead - everything stops from next Monday.
Sorry I must sound like a right selfish moaner.

[smithy431]

I'd forgotten how intense anxiety could get, shaking like a leaf tonight and not being very calm. I wish I could get this week over.

[Peggysl]

Hey...What a brilliant Doctor you have!

Pegs X

[smithy431]

Hi pegs
No she didn't exactly inspire me with her comments.

[smithy431]

Reassurance required!
I've now got this annoying need to cough, just once, no long drawn out sessions. Does anyone feel at their lowest in the morning? I want this over with, my boob isn't sore anymore and that's scaring me too.

[jessieblue]

Hi Hun, I am not surprised you are feeling scared. It won't be long, just try to hang in there. If its any consolation, when I had my lump, it was slightly tender, not terribly pinful and it was also slighly irregular. I know my gp was not happy with the way he felt by his actions and what he said, he never tried to reassure me too much, just said, that whatever it was the breast specialist would be able to sort it out! It was a cyst, so don't read too much into what GPs say and think. Some of them actually aren't all that knowledgeable, after all all they do is refer.

Smithy, i found a lump in my finger yesterday and have been panicking about it ever since. I have convinced myself its nasty and will have to go see doc - again - this week.

Hang in there, the mornings are the worse. I feel very aggitated in the mornings. x