Working and anxiety

[PoppyC]

Hi
I work from home and have done this since I had a breakdown last year, and before that I had some very good jobs.
I am taking medication but I am not now seeing the results that I would have liked to, plus combining it with CBT, self help and diet.
I am overcoming my agoraphobia - however what I cant seem to overcome is the absolute fear of returning to work outside of the home. I start looking at vacancies and I almost provoke a panic attack. Just the thought of working with strangers, and the demands of work, and the stress of it all will make me ill again I know. I go into panic mode just visualising it. I know I need to stop working from home as I am isolated and that working outside the home will help me to feel less so, plus I know in the long run it will do me good, but how do I overcome how I feel. It makes me feel physically sick. Until I got unwell I was never like this! I am half the person I used to be I know that much.
Has anyone else ever been in this situation and what happened?
I am thinking of voluntary work and doing a college course, but again every time I start to put the idea into motion I panic and get sick.
I find this to be the worst aspect of dealing with my anxiety.
I have spent all day so far crying. I cant deal with anymore :weep: Everything seems to be overwhelming and such a struggle. Normally I can just about cope but I feel terrible and this is on medication too.

[skyblue]

hi poppy

i know how you are feeling,have been there myself,had a compleate melt down in 2002 was off work for 8 months,from a really good job,compleatly shut off,from friends,family,could'nt answer the phone,dreaded anyone visiting,was in my own little cocoon.

anxiety every minuite or of every day,used to wake at 5.30am and off id go,into dispair.

never thought id work again,by the christmas bad depression set in,and had some very dark thoughts,was put on NARDIL medication,have to follow special diet.

as things got a little easier i got my self a paper round delivering the free local newspaper,this enabled me to get out of the house,under my own steam,no pressure,and if i felt things was not good i could go home and do the rest another day,it gave me outlet,. if i did 2 roads that was 2 more than i could have done say 2 months ago .... result...

this helped me to gradually gain some confidence,and i did return to work,but only when i felt ready,and i think deep down we know when that feels right,

you will get back,but it took me a while,and i know that being at home does make us become isolated,so go shopping,you are talking to people,but in a comfortable way,visit a friend for an hour,this way you are still interacting and socializing,and that is a fantastic step forward.

take small steps,if you think a course would be good,talk to your tutor and explain that you may have to leave half way through,tell them you are there to get back into things as well as learning something new its a two way process,and they will understand why and admire you like i do...

just wanting to do these things is a great step.

im still working but have set backs,iv been off for 5 weeks,but im due back on sat,and really anx but ill give it a go.

good luck with what you do

chat any time

skyxx:winks: