fear of losing ppl

[leo05]

well guess it all started when my mam died when i was 11yrs old but since then when ppl i get to know and trust always seem to dissappear for good soz if you dont understand this but it really scares me

[darkphantom]

Hi Lea
I understand only to well what you mean, cos i lose people i love to, but you have to think just cos it happened in the past, not everyone you meet and care for, are going to leave you, i know im not gona leave you ok
BIG HUG
luvs ya
xxxxx
susie[:X]

[leo05]

hey thanks susie and i will never leave you too ok just sometime i feel like i am mad for feeling like this but obviously this is not right!!!

[Barb]

Hi Leanne

I am here for you, whenever you want a a chat, you know that hun.

Luv Barb xxxxxxx

[leo05]

yeah thanks just scared of losing everyone and everything good in my life right now

[Piglet]

Big hug

Love Piglet:)

[pips]

Hi Leo.

I totally understand i have a real fear of that to. Sometimes I worry I make the mistake of being to clingy as I'm so afraid at times.

I have to take a step back & reassure myself.

Sending you a big understanding HUG!

Take care,

Love PIP'S XX

[kairen]

yes leanne understand that fear only to well,

take care

kairen x

[Karen]

Hi Leanne

I too understand this fear of losing people, specifically people I develop obsessive attachments to. Over the last year I have learnt that this is most likely due to the abandonment I experienced because of my Mum's constant rejection of me and emotional detachment.

This means I too panic that those people I care about will leave me or be taken away and seek constant reassurance that they will be there for me.

Sorry I don't know how to get past this because I can't seem to let go of the fear myself but you are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I suppose it comes down to learning to relax in relationships and trust people when they tell you they are not going to leave. It can be hard to overcome the insecurity but not impossible.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[leo05]

thanks all for lettig me know i am not alone in this

[elrpigeon]

Hey, im sorry to hear abuot your mam i really am, and i am so sorry you feel scared of losing people. Just so you feel reassured, i havent really had anything major like that happen and yet i am like it too.. i feel so insecure my partner will leave me sometimes that i cling tighter which makes it worse sometimes!
Definately stepping back helps cos he doesnt feel so smothered.. its not major stuff but i feel certain things in my life have contributed to my lack of self esteem and insecurities... just want you to know that i have never experienced some of the stuff you and others have, like losing parent or intense stuff, yet i am the same in scared of people rejecting me.. so you definately aren't alone!
Hugs
Emily X

Power of the mind is incredible, we now think negative by it, we can get out thinking positive too!

[seh1980]

hi Leanne,

I think we all worry about this at times, especially during tough times.

We are all here for you hun.

Sarah :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

[nomorepanic]

We can't change what is meant to be I am afraid. That is so sad I know but we all have to face it at one time or another.

All we can do is make the most of those that we love whilst they are with us and never regret anything we do with them or to them.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[stimpy]

Hi Leo

I think everyone has gone through this at sometime in their life.
You begin to wonder what the point is.
Why bother to get close to someone when they are just going to leave us?

It is a sad fact that at some point in time people are going to leave us,
whether they move away, or die.

The main thing is to enjoy and spend time with those people we care about, while we can.



Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[leo05]

thanks all but it just feels like it always is going to happen to me but maybe one day it will be different

[mazz]

i totally understand leo , i lost my father at the age of 9 , suffered bad from panic attacks.then as i got older they passed.but then i lost mum last june and WOO they came back with force,so i know what you mean

[april tones]

your not alone, im like this lately. see my post on bird flu. im petrified of dying and losing family yo yhis. i look at my son whi is 2 and feel sick., couldnt live with out him 0or partner. xxx

apriltones

[leo05]

hey i know what you mean its when you look at the younger ones that makes ya think what if this and that but i here if you want to talk further

[april tones]

hi, thanks! yes its funny as i have had this before but nworse now have had young son xxxxx

apriltones

[leo05]

hey yeah i not have any kids but still feel this as think we have to care and protect kids as they are the future

[Sher417]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">well guess it all started when my mam died when i was 11yrs old but since then when ppl i get to know and trust always seem to dissappear for good soz if you dont understand this but it really scares me

<div align="right">Originally posted by leo05 - 25 August 2005 : 13:45:26</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Leo, I'm so sorry about your Mum. Eleven years old is far too young to lose a parent!

I can relate to your fear. I live with my elderly mother, who's healthy, but I find myself stopping by her door at night to listen for her breathing. I know it's irrational, but I do it. She says not to worry about her, and hey! How could I control her fate, right? But, I still do worry. I find I'm the same with my boyfriend - always worried he's going to bolt for the door, but I guess you have to trust that no matter what happens, you'll be OK.

Hugs,
Sherri

[leo05]

hey i can totally relate guess i just thought that it was just me if you want to talk more on this subject feel free to pm me anytime

[sal]

Leanne

Reading your post i can only apologise for not texting you more often, but you can also text me. I am not going to abandon you as we are mates now and i will always be here for you even if we dont keep in touch every day.

I know you trust me and i wont walk away from that ever, as i have felt just like you do now and i wouldnt want that to happen to anyone.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.


"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".

[rusky736]

hi....im new...and im not entirely sure my fear is valid to this topic..but...i lost my mum 2 yrs ago...suddenly and very unexpectedly, i was 29 at the time..since then i have suffered imeasurably from anxiety and stress...but...my main problem is the fear of the "D" word...i ahve such a fear i cant even say death....i have panic attacks from thinking about it and suffer constant flash back of seein my mum "lying in rest"....i dont know where to go for help on this subject....i have had a yrs worth of counselling but that was for my grief...the "D" word is almost takin over my daily life....im really not sure how to deal with it....i know its all related to losing my mum...but now i also fear losing my dad..sister...and myself!
any advice would be welcomed.....[:I]
russ...

[leo05]

i can understand exactly where you are coming from and i would say go see your doc and ask for some counselling as it does help but in the mean time plz feel free to pm me

[rusky736]

Hi Leo...
i have a really understanding doctor and counselor thankfully. Ive tried to stop seeing my bereavement counselor (6 months now) because i want to try to do it on my own....without their help...but last week i went back...my anxiety and stress levels brought me to tears. my doctor has advised i see a psychotherapist who specialises in such things but as youll appreciate they cost a fortune.
i appreciate your reply.....as i said...im hoping time is the answer and in time i wont have such a fear over this subject...
cheers...russ

[leo05]

hi russ
i can say it does get easier but after 13 yrs of losing my mam it does still hurt and do have the fear but i am learning to hopefully cope with it

[rusky736]

hi leo...god...13 yrs...its only been 2 1/2 for me and its been one long horrible journey...
i havent felt "healthy" the whole time...its one thing after another all due to stress and anxiety....
i find it really hard to describe my fears over the "D" word....i think its just totally traumatised me not only losing my mum who i thought was invincible :) but also seeing her after the event...lying in the chapel.
when my counselor asks about my fear/phobia i cant describe why...but i panic...im just totally petrified about the whole death thing..
sorry for being morbid...its not the best subject for you to hear me waffle on about [:I]...
russ....

[leo05]

hey dont sweat it yeah it is good to talk and i can totally understand want you mean by seein her restin as i was only 11 and was made to look and since then even if some one i know get a cold yeah i worried the d word may happen to them i here for you 100%

[rusky736]

hey nice one...i appreciate your thoughts and advice....
i understand what your saying about fearing the worst....i think its a natural thing when youve experienced something like we have...although saying that it doesnt make it any easier AT ALL!
russ..

[leo05]

yeah it dont make it any easier but it also help to know that we are not the only ones who have gone through this and wont be the last feel free to disscuss this in more detail via pm as it is more private there

[cheeky monkey]

Hi Lea
I understand about losing ppl as you know i have same problem, as you know its 24yrs since dad died, i think if i can go down and see him it would help me it will be the first time and i am nervous and scared cos i never went to his funeral so this will be my good bye to him.
Dad told me to love and enjoy and care for the people in our lifes now while we can. And remember you dont really lose ppl they have just moved to the room next door you cant see them but they are always there to listen to us. i find thinking that helps me alot.
Your doing really well keep it up
susie:)

[iloveEnglish]

I have a fear of lossing people too,its like i have to tell them i love them and if they ignore an email or a text i feel like they have gone they have left me. I think about it all the time it takes so much energy.

[andrea thompson]

hi
i know exactly what you mean... i have lost afew people close to me and have a real fear of losing people precious to me... sometimes the feelings are overwhelming ... to the point were i am almost in tears.... i try to revert back to rational thoughts.... i tell myself that it is normal for people to die and the important thing is that we make the most of the time that we are here... no point worrying.... its hard i know!!!!

i hope this helps.... it helps me!!!

x x

[leo05]

thanks both for your replies aint used this post in ages lol -

if i dont get a txt bk of ppl who i have txt i tend to think they hate me etc and that they dont want to know me and that i am worthless etc

i am working on this now - even if someone dont arrive when they have said they will i will freak out big time
ppl do die yeah i know and get that but always seems to be to me . i would love to be able to rationalize ma thoughts but i just cant i get to the point to where i need to punish myself as the thoughts are so overwhelming at the moment.

i am lucky at the mo to have some great m8 who understand me never thought i would have but i do .

so keep working on it and pm me anytime if ya want to chat

take care
hugs
lea xx

[maddie]

Well you aren't losing me! I'm here to chat anytime.

:hugs::hugs:

[leo05]

aww thanks maddie and likewise hun hugs for ya xx

[flymo9]

hey lea xxxxxx huggles mrs, i know and understand what u going through.....sorry i aint been there as much as i shouldve been of late.....my own head is royally up my arse and i aint been able to maintain nowt with my friends of much at all i feel....i feel iv been letting ppl down but im sorry i shouldve been there for u more.....just not coping that well myself at minute and finding it harder and harder to trust and open up to ppl......even though i should with my friends.......so am sorry xxxxxxx

[leo05]

hey mo, only just saw ya replied to this and dont be sorry sorry ok i know ya always there hugs xxxx