Hello

[Shazza39]

Hello Everyone! I found this website and it is great to see lots of people experience similar things to me and I don't feel alone.

The last few months have been a nightmare. I have had so many aches and pains etc I have lost count!!:weep: Of course I have Googled my symptoms and now I think I have everything from Sciatica to HIV.

I so want to feel well again. I can't remember the last time I felt good!!

Mornings are the worst. I wake up and my stomach is churning and I feel so anxious. It takes ages for me to force myself out of bed. Then all day I find I have sore legs, arms, throat. You name it I feel it!!! I am constantly going to the toilet checking for lumps, swelling etc.

During the night I sometimes have dreams about dying and I wake up thinking I have died...weird I know!!

Sorry for rambling on but this site seems like there are loads of people like me and I would love to hear that I am not alone. I am a single 39 year old with no kids living on my own. Feels lonely!!

Please help and come chat to me xxx

[duskess]

Hello Shazza , Welcome to NMP , lots of help advice and understanding here , glad you found the site, your definately not alone , try not to google , have you told your doctor how you feel and maybe put your name down for councelling , you take care :welcome: Duskess x

[Shazza39]

Thanks Duskess! I really appreciate your comment. I have spoken to doctor on numerous occassions. Had blood tests and they came back all clear which makes me think it must be something more serious that doesn't show up in in blood!! So sick of these feelings!! :weep: I wait to hear what others think!! Am I just going mad!!!

[duskess]

Hi , I think you have Health anxiety and depression Shazza , but im not a doctor , im just a member like you :hugs:I can only say what i would do and thats is insist on referral to councelling its your right , and no your definately not going mad , take care Duskess x

[Stressed32]

Shazza- welcome, i am sorry you are here, but glad u have found us. this place was the beginning of my healing. I am not healed, but i am better. anxiety never goes away, u just learn how to deal with it and how it makes u feel. as far as the hiv thing, you just had blood tests that came back all clear. general blood work will NOT specifically test for HIV because there is a test just for hiv. however, if u had hiv, it would have shown up as an abnomality in your white blood cell count. hiv is an immune disorder that prevents your body from fighting infection. your white blood cells fight infection. so, if you had it, even just for 6 months, your white blood cell count would have been wierd and they doctors would have wanted to test further. Also, the reason they do blood work as a starting point for testing is because it is so telling. it will not tell them exactly what is wrong, but it will tell them that something is not right and then they do more specific testing. sweetie, your thoughts are irrational, a huge symptoms of anxiety. you have rationalized in your mind that the test were not able to pick up some super disease that u have. think about it like this....those tests are used all over the world everday to diagnose real illness. do you really think they would have messed up on you? no, they would have found if something was wrong. something is wrong....you have anxiety! not hiv, not anything more serious, just anxiety. PLEASE stay off of google and read on this site about all the the crazy symptoms anxiety can cause...and u have them all. When my anxiety is bad, mornings are the worse and i feel just like you. you are normal not dieing. just try to understand what your feeling, educate yourself, and you will begin to heal. also, in regard to hiv...do you really know how hard of a disease this is to catch? so hard, it is almost not considered an STD. Your chances are 0.01% or 1 in 1000. u have a better chance of getting hit by lightning. it is possible, but not the easist of things u could have gotten :) relax, you are ok. HUGS honey!