Acceptance--how's it working out for you?

[Gryphoenix]

I've been listening to the Clare Weekes mp3s and they are brilliant. I've been doing really well as of late but still admittedly avoiding/dreading some things to keep from panicking. I never realized that even though I felt a bit better, I still wasn't getting past a certain point even though I have my bag of tricks (distraction, not thinking about it, not worrying). I tried the acceptance thing yesterday while watching Star Trek (that's for you Bill, lol!) during a massive panic (I had worked myself up so much over this movie I lost it when it started). It really worked! It felt terrible, honestly though, cause I thought I was doing it right before I had gotten in the theater and then it blows up as soon as I sit down, but I told myself I would be fine and I would take whatever came, even if that meant my heart would blow up or I'd pass out or whatever. I still felt sooo anxious and tired and tense (my muscles especially in my chest, where I carry all my tension, were soo strung out) and my heart rate was really really elevated and that's what I was most worried about, and I had gotten a really nasty ectopic that messed with my confidence a few minutes earlier before coming in (which is honestly I think what did me in) but after getting into the movie and really accepting it...I wasn't scared anymore. Yes, worried, but not scared. To actually go through a panic and not be scared is...an interesting feeling. I still hated it though, and I'm really hoping that I'll be ok with it next time too, and I was worn out the rest of the day, but today, even whilst feeling anxious and stuff...I don't have that constant nagging fear as much anymore. It's been forever since I've gone 'through' a panic to the other side, and maybe that's my problem, I've been too frightened as of late to go 'through' them.

So my question is, for those of you that are at this stage of recovery (and I AM recovering, think positive! :yesyes:), how have you handled this? Is it always this tough (as I've mentioned above)? Do you have to resign yourself to getting panics to become desensitized to them? Because I don't like the sound of that...even though I'll do it, it doesn't sound fun. :doh: I want to be able to do all kinds of things this summer without worrying about panic (swimming, going to concerts, going to conventions) and Clare Weekes said it'll take 2 months to be completely desensitized...ugh. I'm not going to put my life on hold for this and I will end up having to do stuff (like movies again), but does that mean I have to hold onto my hat and seat and be ready? I know the best thing is to NOT THINK about panic but I get an automatic reaction sometimes when my heart beats fast during exersion cause I identify the feeling with panic so much.

Eh, anyway...go watch Star Trek, it was awesome! :yesyes:

[Bill]

Hello Golden Phoenix!:yesyes:

I've been thinking of you every time I hear about the new Star Trek movie. You'll have to tell me more about it as I doubt I'll get to see it for ages! It does look very good. Do you think it's better than the other sequels and most importantly, does it have a happy ending? I Hate films that end badly. They just annoy me because I feel writers should always make people leave theatres with a smile...otherwise what's the point in seeing a film to make you feel miserable!?!:wacko:

Anyway, wish I was there with you! I'd have enjoyed the film...and your company of course!

Now then...your questions...

how have you handled this? Is it always this tough (as I've mentioned above)? Do you have to resign yourself to getting panics to become desensitized to them?

I want to be able to do all kinds of things this summer without worrying about panic (swimming, going to concerts, going to conventions)

I know the best thing is to NOT THINK about panic
think positive! :yesyes:)

As usual, you ask questions then give the answers yourself and as usual I remind you that you already know the answers and you just need a "kick" to keep going!:D

However, let's try re-phrasing a couple of things...

Do you have to resign yourself to getting panics to become desensitized to them? No, because the question doesn't make alot of sense.:wacko: :D
No one has to resign themselves to always getting panics because once you're de-sensitised to "the fear of getting panics", they stop being a problem. Therefore, if you can learn to do all kinds of things this summer without worrying about panic (swimming, going to concerts, going to conventions) by remembering acceptance, distraction, not thinking about it, not worrying and to think positive! then you'll be ok with it next time too....because they'll no longer scare you....just as you say!!!

Remember the words of Mr. Spock...."Fear maybe "fascinating" but always remember to stay "logical"! Live Long and Prosper Golden Phoenix with your inner strength you always forget you have!!!:bighug1:

[xBettyBoopx]

Wow, I was just gonna start a new thread asking if anyone can accept this & get better thru acceptance, when I came across your post.

You did so brilliantly, it's fantastic. You actually sat thu a panic attack & let it ride over you & not be scared of it:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: What does that feel like?:scared15: :scared15: :scared15:

You should be very proud of yourself, it took guts & sheer determination. I always listen to Dr Weekes's tapes & have all her books. I know that she's right about what we gotta do, I just cannot do it. But you did it...........woohooo.:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: Very well done.

Love
Els

[Moondance]

This is exactly how it worked for me! Learning not to be afraid of the panic is where recovery starts. It does get easier, honest. Eventually, there'll come a time when you feel a little panic but are able to ignore it and just let it be there if it must. Letting the feelings wash over you and 'giving up the fight' really works. I wouldn't worry about the length of time it takes to recover, everyone is different and will go at their own pace. Just enjoy your summer and let the feeling come and go, you'll be surprised when you realise you're not bothered about them anymore!

best wishes

[Gryphoenix]

Elspeth: Aw, thankies! I'm glad you got to see what it's like. I'm not gonna lie, it is difficult, but it is doable and you can do it too--anyone can, cause panic can't hurt us. Colds don't hurt us in the long run, and all panic does is cause uncomfortable physical sensations that WILL subside. Going through it, because of the nature of panic and fear, I kinda had to make peace with myself lol, I said to myself, "Well, if this is a heart attack, I'm okay with that. If something bad happens to my heart, I'm okay with that too." After I said that, the fear left and all I was left with was a bundle of uncomfortable physical sensations, normal sensations, that subsided after about ten minutes. I was tired afterwards, just like Clare Weekes said I would be, but it was a good kind of tired like after a great workout. Like my signature says, being brave means knowing exactly what could happen, and doing it anyway.

Now to follow my own advice, lol!

Moondance: Thanks so much, I'm glad to hear it does get easier, it's hard to see the light when you're still struggling with the brunt of it.

Bill: Star Trek was brilliant, and the ending was indeed happy! It has a lot of great homages to the Original Series and lots of fun lines that are recognizable, like Scotty saying "She's givin' it all she's got, Captain!" or something like that. :D It went into a lot of great introspection of Spocks' inner character, as well as Kirk's. See, even panic can't ruin a great movie! :D It would have been fun to see it with you! :D

Thanks for always replying, Bill! I still have a problem with negative thoughts, even when I do something 'good' there's that tiny little voice in the back of my head that goes... "Well, what about next time?" or "What if?" I'm trying real hard to ignore these thoughts but they crop up especially when a memory gets triggered. Like my ole heart racing fear, every time I don't exercise a lot cause I'm busy, I have a little irrational thought that goes "What if your heart can't take it next time, it hasn't practiced, what if all you've worked for is slowly slipping away and now you're not conditioned...etc" And then whenever my heart does race, I get flashbacks of panic. Like this morning, I did a bit of 'cbt' and reved up my heart with a tiny bit of exercise, to get used to that feeling again cause I really haven't exercised in awhile. My thoughts immediately went to flashing back to what panic feels like and "Oh no, what if it gets worse, it can't go any faster, what if it goes faster!" I ignored them but they bothered me for a good part of the morning. I think every time I feel this background anxiety it disheartens me cause I automatically think--"You should be better! Why are you feeling this?" I know 'logically' that it's just thoughts, but they bother me when I'm not paying attention and my mind goes back into that 'rut'.

Thus, I'm kinda nervous about the next time I see a movie, cause I'm thinking--"Well, look how panicky you got last time!" I know that doesn't make it true, but it makes me nervous enough to feel like I'm gonna panic which of course, we all know what happens then. I know what to do, I just feel better writing down these thoughts! :D :D :D

[Bill]

I know what to do, I just feel better writing down these thoughts!

Then you know what to do when you hear that little gremlin trying to niggle you golden phoenix!:winks: Kick it out before it tries to gain too much attention from you!:buttkick: You Know what to do and you Do it...you just need more self-belief and to focus more on what you achieve rather than the negative feelings you experienced.

There is another thought I've had though. You know when we seek reassurance, we can end up feeding our anxiety because by finding immediate relief, we haven't allowed the anxious feelings to go gradually? Well, I just wonder if you're focusing too much on exercise for the wrong reasons.

You see, most people will exercise to keep slim but you're exercising to ease your "fear" about something happening to your heart. (I understand why though.) every time I don't exercise a lot cause I'm busy, I have a little irrational thought that goes "What if your heart can't take it next time, it hasn't practiced, what if all you've worked for is slowly slipping away and now you're not conditioned...etc"

The trouble is that every time you don't exercise because you're busy, your anxiety then becomes raised which then triggers "your little gremlin" to create your irrational worrying thoughts.

I feel you need to learn a more relaxed approach to exercise by treating exercise as "you'll exercise when you have time" rather than "you Have to exercise for the sake of your heart" because this would then stop the irrational thoughts as you'll stop worrying about missing exercise. Besides golden phoenix, I understand the reasons why but you're Young so you shouldn't have any need to be worrying about your heart at your age!:winks:

Glad the new star trek has a happy ending!!! I'm looking forward to seeing it!

I think what Scotty says sums you up Perfectly as regard your attitude towards defeating panic!..."She's givin' it all she's got, Captain!":winks: I'm Sure you'll continue "to boldly go" and "live long and prosper" golden phoenix.:bighug1:

[mysonmarcus]

Hi guys

I went through this before and read Claire Weekes and listened to all the tapes with great comfort..............ther was something missing. 'Acceptance' is what I needed of course but what did it really mean?? I found this a tough question...........

It meant that I should have panicky feelings but not add the second phase of fear. I understood that too.....this really helped keep the anxiety at a background mid level....always under the surface but not gone!

How to regain the last part.......to live normally again!

I spent week changing my thoughts, monitoring what I was saying to myself and changing that to more factual comment. I used the word Stop many thoousands of times and regained all myself back.

Now is relapse, I am riding this horse again. Acceptance for me was never something that brought me the peace needed to regain my life. This time I am even more aware of the fact that my insecurities are at fault and my supposed ability to handle life as the catalyst for shaky emotions..... and panic.

The little voice in my head shouts very loud and shrieks 'you cant cope'. I am telling the little voice its not so important anymore and my anxious feelings have halved......

I wish the best for all others in the same fight!

Mark

[NoPoet]

Fear deals in emotion, logic deals in fact. Some experts don't think science or logic play a part in curing stress or depression. I beg to disagree. I think rational thinking can be re-introduced to someone who is suffering and I think it gives you something solid and real to hold on to. Depression lies. Science tells the truth.

Try looking at the following, which I'm using to help me accept my negative thoughts and fears:

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Repetitive-Bad-Memories

[Gryphoenix]

Bill: Lol, indeed! I sometimes feel like my heart has a little Scotty inside going "I cannae take it anymore, Captain!" Actually I think I do the exercise thing more on so that my reaction to my heart beating fast won't be as severe cause I'm 'used' to it. When I don't exercise for awhile, I feel like I'm more scared of my heart beating fast. It's so weird now that I think about it...>__< I did play some softball today and I felt really unused to exertion and an ectopic nearly sent me into a panic and I went inside but it quelled and I felt fine. I think what happens is that as Clare Weekes says, I'm kind of sensitized right now and that's why little feelings are all intensified. I've always had Health Anxiety, and it's usually not too bad, but I noticed in the last couple of months I'm assuming EVERY SINGLE little blip and boop that I feel is a sign of doom and gloom especially to do with digestion (which is where I think I get a lot of my ectopics from). I know 'logically' that even the healthiest people feel twinges of any sort. And of course what makes me mad about it is that I've been relatively healthy anyway and none of anything has ever actually been a problem!



It's weird cause I feel like logic doesn't take an easy hold when I'm panicky, or I've got those negative thoughts going in a circle and it's hard to break through. Maybe it's in my subconcious and that's why it's so fast and hard for my 'concious, logical' mind to get a foothold. That rubber-band snapping technique works wonders cause I can really feel my head getting stuck in the negative spiral. Today when I was feeling panicky earlier I tried repeating some logical thoughts "This is negative thinking, it's not real" but it was really hard to get those to sink into my other thoughts of "Ohnoes, I'm gonna panic, here it comes!"

I think it's a combination of acceptance and locating and identifying negative thinking, plus a lot of trust. Oftentimes by the simple identification of a negative thought, it'll break the panic thought 'rut' or cycle and I'll be fine. But when that doesn't work and I'm already too far gone, the acceptance thing works like a charm. I did it today both times and my panic just dissapeared after a few minutes.