Alexis75
14-05-09, 11:31
Hello everyone,
My name is Alexis... I live in Scotland and i've been suffering from panic attacks in some form or another for a decade. That was a bit AA wasn't it!
Not really sure where to start... I have been reading lots of the posts on here and my thoughts go out to everyone suffering from this affliction, particularly those that are just experiencing it for the first time, I remember all too clearly how terrifying a panic attack can be.
My first one was when I was 22. A single parent, my son was 4, I was studying at Uni full time and working nights to make ends meet... Walking with my little boy to the supermarket I was suddenly overwhelmed with panic, fear, horror... Totally crippled by it... my instant reaction was to try and shake it off and get my brain to do something else... I couldn't move, all I could do was tie and untie my shoe laces over and over until it passed. All the usual symptoms, Couldn't breath or swallow, shaking, sweating, pins and needles in my hands and a feeling of not being real. Sound familiar anyone?!
Well... we never made it to the supermarket... I turned on my heels and got us back home, terrified that I was incapable of keeping my son safe if I stayed out.
And so it began... A period of about 2 years that were literally a living hell... At least 6 months of which I developed agoraphobia and was practically housebound. I had absolutely no control over what my brain was doing. My subconscious was my enemy. I avoided all situations that could trigger an attack. At my worst I was on my knees crawling on the floor unable to do anything, so terrified I was being sick, crying uncontrollably. Friends and family were kind but didn't really understand it (apparently I come accross to people as extroverted and confident - A master of disguise!). I was put on medication, Beta blockers, valium etc but I stopped them pretty quickly, my life was too busy to be tranquilized! I did discover a little herbal remedy called Argent Nit (you can get it easily from chemists). It was no match for a full blown PA but it did keep me calm in-between times, a godsend. I carried it everywhere for years, A bottle of it in every handbag and coat pocket just incase! Whenever I started to feel anxious I would just pop one in my mouth and it calmed me a little... a placebo perhaps but if it works... why question it!
As time has gone on I have learned to cope with the panic and control it's severity, it rarely gets the better of me (except at night, I am woken regularly gripped with the all too familiar panic but I will maybe get into that at a later date). I still like to sit near the door when i'm in a room full of people incase I need to make a quick exit and I try to avoid motorway driving as it makes me feel trapped and anxious.
I did make it through Uni with just one mark away from a First, my son is now nearly 15, I have my own business... life does go on... For all of you that are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel please know that there is one...
I feel like I can talk with some authority on the subject of panic attacks having survived everything they have thrown at me over the years so if anyone has any questions then please don't hesitated to get in touch, maybe I can help... in the meantime it's lovely to be here...
Ax
My name is Alexis... I live in Scotland and i've been suffering from panic attacks in some form or another for a decade. That was a bit AA wasn't it!
Not really sure where to start... I have been reading lots of the posts on here and my thoughts go out to everyone suffering from this affliction, particularly those that are just experiencing it for the first time, I remember all too clearly how terrifying a panic attack can be.
My first one was when I was 22. A single parent, my son was 4, I was studying at Uni full time and working nights to make ends meet... Walking with my little boy to the supermarket I was suddenly overwhelmed with panic, fear, horror... Totally crippled by it... my instant reaction was to try and shake it off and get my brain to do something else... I couldn't move, all I could do was tie and untie my shoe laces over and over until it passed. All the usual symptoms, Couldn't breath or swallow, shaking, sweating, pins and needles in my hands and a feeling of not being real. Sound familiar anyone?!
Well... we never made it to the supermarket... I turned on my heels and got us back home, terrified that I was incapable of keeping my son safe if I stayed out.
And so it began... A period of about 2 years that were literally a living hell... At least 6 months of which I developed agoraphobia and was practically housebound. I had absolutely no control over what my brain was doing. My subconscious was my enemy. I avoided all situations that could trigger an attack. At my worst I was on my knees crawling on the floor unable to do anything, so terrified I was being sick, crying uncontrollably. Friends and family were kind but didn't really understand it (apparently I come accross to people as extroverted and confident - A master of disguise!). I was put on medication, Beta blockers, valium etc but I stopped them pretty quickly, my life was too busy to be tranquilized! I did discover a little herbal remedy called Argent Nit (you can get it easily from chemists). It was no match for a full blown PA but it did keep me calm in-between times, a godsend. I carried it everywhere for years, A bottle of it in every handbag and coat pocket just incase! Whenever I started to feel anxious I would just pop one in my mouth and it calmed me a little... a placebo perhaps but if it works... why question it!
As time has gone on I have learned to cope with the panic and control it's severity, it rarely gets the better of me (except at night, I am woken regularly gripped with the all too familiar panic but I will maybe get into that at a later date). I still like to sit near the door when i'm in a room full of people incase I need to make a quick exit and I try to avoid motorway driving as it makes me feel trapped and anxious.
I did make it through Uni with just one mark away from a First, my son is now nearly 15, I have my own business... life does go on... For all of you that are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel please know that there is one...
I feel like I can talk with some authority on the subject of panic attacks having survived everything they have thrown at me over the years so if anyone has any questions then please don't hesitated to get in touch, maybe I can help... in the meantime it's lovely to be here...
Ax