I could use some help - I am new to this but not HA

[Onward]

Hello everyone,

I am now in my 22nd year of this much maligned malady and have been in its horrific grips on my own and with my wonderful wife of 16 years. I have written to others that sometimes she is relegated to a health cheerleader, trying to assure me that everything is OK despite my stupid head.

Let me first say I do not want anyone to take this next story to heart (no pun intended). I just was released from the hosptial after a brief 50 hour stay to have an EP test and subsequently an ICD placed inside me. The hospital was premier and everything Thank God went well. But as we all know, herein lies the rub. I went to Dr. Google and looked up something called CLAB infections so of course I am ruminating if I touched the end of the IV at times and this would cause something. I also came home two hours after the last test where they knock you out with sedation. I was still somewhat groggy, extremely emotional (as I always am) and anxious. When I arrived home I took my temperature and it was 99. Of course I got that fear washover me, took it again and it was 98.7, took it again two minutes later and it was 98.4. This morning I did it again and it was 97.4. Like we all know again, most would calm down and say well temperatures can fluctuate given extraneous stimuli, but my comment to my wife was, "it's usually 96 something in the morning." She stated that you just got done with surgery for an ICD less than 24 hours ago, had another test where they again, shock your heart and have all this pent up emotion, chemicals and intravenious antibiotics in you.

Here is where I turn to you, my new friends - do any of you stress about the thermometer and can all I went through contribute to this fluctuation? I really want to concentrate on recuperating and not move onto another fear. I deserve to feel relaxed after all I went through for the past 2 1/2 days. Thanks everyone - and I mean that sincerely for any reassurance you could offer.

[CJH86]

Hi - i totally relate, im sure there are a few of us on here have gone through the thermometer obsession. I developed it after a traumatic experience in hospital after developing post-operation complications, the year before this my grandad had died of MRSA on the ward next to the one i was on.....i made the poor nurses check my temp constantly as i was convinced it was shooting up all the time and the same thing would happen to me :scared15: even after i was discharged i would constantly check my temp for a while after.

The thing to remember is these thermometers have a degree of innaccuracy so will give a different reading everytime ( personally think them electronic jobbys are dodgy!), plus body temperature fluctuates anyway. Like you say your body has gone through a considerable amount over the last few days too! I hope you feel better soon :)

[Onward]

You're right of course, it's just that people don't really understand what we go through and the time loss worrying. I could go on and rival many out here with stories, co-pays at doctor's offices and wasted weekends. I want to count my blessings and not feel my damned forehead for slight changes. I need time to heal both emotionally and physically.

I thank you for your time and infinite consideration and would welcome any ther advice from my new friends everywhere.

[Vanilla Sky]

Hi Onward, Welcome to NMP. If I were you I would throw away your thermometer, why do you need to take your temparature ? Everyone's temp fluctuates all day . I think we should leave all the checks to the medical profession. Do yourself a favour and throw it away ! It is the anxiety that is making you tune in so deeply to whats going on in your body. I went through a heart phase, i was convinced it was beating to fast or to slow etc i became so aware of every little twinge. Believe me it is quite easy to stop once you make the decision to do so. It's the anxiety you need to treat , the physical symptoms are just by/product of your thoughts. You said you want to recuperate and not move on to another fear, you have said it in a nutshell which gives me the proof that this is anxiety and i do believe you know it yourself on some level , it just gets lost , the rational is lurking there just beneath the surface, you can do it hun, you will have support on here, maybe see you in chat sometime Love Paige x

[Onward]

Thank you Paige - I have to say that after reading your post I became emotional as well as my wife. What you say is truly correct and I am trying.

The really cruel part of HA is the little signs we get when we aren't looking. Today I woke up with a little lump on the edge of my lip. Of course I went to the computer and looked it up - all I focused on was it said "fever blisters" (if that is even what it is) can be triggered by fever. My wife pointed out that besides getting off the darn computer, all definitions and web pages say EMOTIONAL STRESS and INJURY could also be large factors. You would think that I would start to realize that I have been under a mountain of stess in the Hosp. for three days and went under surgery and testing.

I don't know - I just wish I could dismiss some things - It truly makes me sad that it affects me like this. I am sorry if I appear too down, I don't mean to be but that is why I registered here and not just read posts.

[Vanilla Sky]

Please don't be sorry, you have health anxiety and us fellow sufferers know exactly what you are going through. We have a thing on here that we always say and that is DO NOT google your symptoms ! If we didn't have HA and googled symptoms we would probably not take on board the serious ones , but because we have HA that's the only things we see . It's so obvious to me now , but thats easy for me because i am now recovering and you will to . Don.t worry if you feel down when you are on here. let us support you Paige x

[Valka]

I was ill for a while when I was 16 and the main symptom was a high fever that wouldn't go down. After that I developed a total paranoia about taking my temperature and eventually just stopped taking it for years, even if I got the flu or felt feverish. I'm okay with taking it now but if my health anxiety is lurking I can always tell I get a bit too obsessed with it. I had a really bad cold sometime last autumn and it got to a point where I was taking my temperature way too many times a day. So yes, I can relate! But I've learned that first of all, thermometers aren't always accurate. Secondly, body temperature can fluctuate for other reasons and it's not the same in everyone. For example, my natural body temperature seems to be slightly lower than the rest of my family's. My anxiety also seems to affect it from time to time. I can understand your getting stressed but try to avoid second guessing - although it's easier said than done! If I could just follow that golden rule myself I'd be a lot better!
Good luck with your recovery!