hi everyone

[beaniepudblue]

Hi everyone in new here, Im Jennie and im 31, i have two boys one is 10 the other is almost 6 months old. ive had huge anxiety and depression problems since my early 20s. At the moment ive also been suffereing PND (postnatal depression) since my little man was born in november so all my usual symptoms have been interlinked with that and its been awful :weep:

i cant pinpoint exactly where it all started in my life, i was fine up until the age of around 14/15....but i know for a fact getting bullied at school may have triggered my anxiety issues. Then i was in a violent relationship which i got out of in 2003. But then in 2004, i had severe depression with anxiety and took medication for the first time. I hoped i would never ever feel like i did back then again...but i have, most recently been the last few months. I had also had a terrible time in 2005 when my friend died, causing me to be severly anxious over my health with health anxiety, chest tightenings (that was awful) :weep: and just obsessing over something happening to me, thinking that hes gone and it could happen to anyone. THe jade goody thing also made me bad recently again with anxiety. Ive not been on any meds since around 2007, ive been trying to beat it on my own. Ive read and researched a lot about it and know anxiety is such a nasty viscous circle. You worry, get thoughts, then you worry why you are getting those thoughts etc etc......
Since my (2nd) son was born in november last year ive had it bad but i think a lot of it is PND related too, and a lot of it is health anxiety and i know its all intermingled. ive been so scared of something happenign to me, to my boys, going to sleep and never waking, my partner etc. I think alsorts is wrong with me, im fed up of feeling like this. I get so down, crying all the time, and im such a nervous person, it affects my job, and my ability to make friends. An example of this is my job, i work with such loud outgoing (more like gobby really) girls and im the complete oposite of that, im so quiet and because im like that they have shunned me really. Then the other day, i struggled (and dreaded!!) taking my wee man to a mum and baby group for the first time, ive been avoiding these things again because of the anxiety but i needed to get out. And it was awful :weep: no one spoke to me or bothered with me, i tried to make an effort by going to sit with people and no one came and spoke to me, i came home and cried, all that was good about it was that my baby enjoyed it, and thats all that matters

anyway enough of me going on, so sorry for the long rant

hope to make new friends and help others

J xxxx

[MaddyMoo]

Hello Beaniepudblue

Do ya know what stuff em! I went to baby groups and went to a couple before I found a nice one well I say nice it was pleasant enough and spoke to a few more people and continued in that one for my babes sake.

But I found the first two very clicky, I am fairly outgoing with large groups of friends, well used to be before the anxiety and panic attacks I started with a few weeks ago took hold and I have always struggled at baby groups! I dont know why I just did not connact with anyone there the way I have with other friends and colleagues and peopel I have met through life. That seems strange to me as you would think it would be easy to connect with those that you ahve most in common with but no its not you I promise because my friend hates baby groups too she says they are too clicky and she ended up in tears too after a recent one!

Hope your okay I see your on pc late too. I have two girls by the way. Maddy xx

[duskess]

Hello and welcome to NMP, lots of help advice and undertanding members here , glad you found the site ,congratualations on the birth of your baby boy:flowers: explain to whom runs the mother and baby group how you felt im sure they would want you to feel welcome , you will get lots of advice here, take care ,:welcome: d x

[pollyanna]

Hi Jennie,
im new too, just read your post and feel we have a few things in common, my son is 17 now but i also had PND after he was born, just to complicate things, and my anxiety became much worse, to the point i could not function. anyway to cut a long story, my health anxiety is very bad just now, and i am having frequent anxiety attacks, i found this site, and thought that it was just wonderful, and i could totally relate to lots of the things people had posted. i hope it helps you just as much.
well done on going to the mother and baby group despite how you were feeling, i felt the same as you i dreaded going too and just like your experience , a pretty unfriendly bunch and very clique ish, so not much has changed at these things which is a shame....., i kept going for my sons sake, but you must do whatever is right for you and your son. i hope things improve for you soon.

P x:)