Anticipatory anxiety

[septimus]

For many years, I have suffered from anticipatory anxiety. That is the anxiety one feels when faced with events yet to come. These events could be anything from going on holiday, eating out (especially), visiting the doctor or even going to the shops. The anxiety gets worse the closer the event becomes, until everything connected with it is blown up out of all proportion, and some can even be envisaged as dangerous or life-threatening.
So what is the answer?
Both my fear of flying and fear of going into hospital were overcome by going on a fear of flying course and having to go into hospital for an unavoidable operation. The anxiety I felt leading up to these events was truly dreadful, not only for myself, but for my poor wife who had to put up with me! These are only two examples of my anticipatory anxiety.
Hardly anything I want to do, especially outside of my home, does not involve a degree of worry, and this has led to quite severe bouts of anxiety, which has been treated with medication, CBT(not very successful), and all sorts of alternative therapies, ranging from acupuncture to hypnotherapy, reiki, Bach flower remedies and the like.
Facing your fears head-on seems to be the only solution, BUT it is the anxiety beforehand that is THE problem. How can one master this problem without resorting to anti-depressants, tranquilizers and spending a small fortune on 'so-called' alternative therapies.
I'd really appreciate any suggestions or ideas from our members.
S.

[Moondance]

I know how you feel. Flying, doctors, dentists, meetings at work, the list goes on and on. I have a son with a chronic medical condition which involves lots of hostpital visits. At my worst, these check ups became a nightmare.............. However, this week I had to take him for an MRI and it wasn't a problem at all. What is different? I have learned to accept that there are situations in my life that will cause me to be anxious, I don't fight the anxiety, it just sits there and I let it. The result is that I get on with my life and the anxiety is hardly noticed.

Flying and doctors cause many people to be anxious, (whether or not thay suffer from panic and anxiety). Don't be afraid of the anxious feelings, let them be and get on with enjoying your life. You'll be surprised one day that you don't even notice their presence. best wishes,

[Gryphoenix]

Ooh, I have the worst trouble with anticipatory anxiety! I would say it's nearly my main struggle. I agree with Moondance, the only thing you can really do is accept that it's normal and trust that you'll be okay. After all, whose to say that moment will exist in its form that we predict it will be? We're not there yet, we don't know. Those events may never even happen!

It's funny, I get really wound up over American Idol to the point where I nearly have a PA when they announce who the person kicked off is. I look online to a AI board and "Normal" people are having the EXACT SAME symptoms as me. They're posting all over the place (being funny, of course) about how they need oxygen, call the ambulence, needing defibrillators, etc. So we may assume that there's something wrong with us cause we feel this way, but it's really a normal human reaction to something that we fear may upset us.

My problem is that I hate feeling that way so much that I get anticipatory anxiety over anticipatory anxiety, lol! I need to learn how to 'let go' and accept that something I fear may happen and be okay with being shocked or upset.

[septimus]

Thanks for the replies. The very fact that these anxious thoughts are normal, makes me feel better. I suppose I want to cram as much as possible into my life, as I'm not getting any younger, but is the worry that goes with these events worth it. I don't know.
For most people, holidays, Christmas, going out to dinner or the theatre is normal and enjoyable and to be looked forward to. To me, however, there has to be something to worry about, whether it is the man sitting next to me on the plane or being mugged on the way to the supermarket. Maybe this is agoraphobia, again I don't know.
Any more suggestions would be most welcome.
S.