was telling dad the right thing?!

[Peru83]

As some of you will know I was in hospital in january and it was very serious. At the time I didn't feel it best to tell my dad as he was going though alot him self. Well today I told him, not too sure why I just felt he should have a better understanding of how I was feeling rather than blame my mum for everything. When I told him he first got angry that I felt I couldn't tell him, then he cried! My dad never cries, this has broken my heart that I have hurt him! I wish that had never opened my mouth now. I should of just left things the way they were. I am really kicking myself, me and my big mouth!!!

Sorry just needed to vent, ty for reading.

Claire

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!"

[Piglet]

Hi Claire,

It's probably better in the long run that you told him and who knows this could bring you closer.

I expect he was angry at first and then tearful as he may have felt he let you down by you not being able to tell him at the time.

As a parent I think I would probably have reacted exactly the same way - I think we like to think that our kids could always come to us no matter what and I would feel gutted too. Although sometimes kids don't want to worry their parents or maybe feel ashamed and think they are sparing the parent grief.

If it was me (and obviously I dont know all the in's and out's here) I would give him a hug (sure you already have) and reassure him that you love him and of your reasons why you didn't tell him at the time.

I find it helps with my parents if I try and imagine them as individual people rather than just in their parenting role to me and they were little kids and teenagers years ago too (millions of years ago in their case).

He just needs reassurance that he hasn't let you down.

Big hug

Piglet:)

[kate]

Hi Claire,

I agree with Piglet that it is better that you told him now as he was bound to have found out sometime in the future.

He is probably also very shocked that he hadn't been aware of how you were feeling. When my daughter finally broke down and told me the things that she had been having to deal with regarding the OCD ( before she was diagnosed), I was both upset and shocked. It upsets you so much to hear that your child has problems that you knew nothing about.

Once he has had time to take it all in I'm sure that he will be supportive and will want to know how he can help you.

As Piglet said, go and give him a hug!

Kate x

[Peru83]

Thank you for your replies.

I know your right, but just feel really bad for how he's now feeling as he too has had soo much on his plate recently. Plus I'm a bit of a daddies girl and don't like to upset him. I would love to give him a hug right now but he lives in Glasgow! So unfortunatly is too far away right now which also is making me sad.


claire

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most!"

[Quirky]

Hi Claire,
Could you phone him and explain that you didn't tell him before because you didn't want to worry him and because he had alot on his plate. I'm sure once he knows your reasons he'll realise you acted in his best interest at the time. He probably feels he should have been there for you but he will understand. Just tell him you love him and value his support. He'll know you didn't meant to hurt him.
LJ