servo
18-05-09, 09:57
Hi There,
First thanks for making this such a great forum, reading through some of the posts has given me the realization that I'm not alone...I've been suffering from GAD since I was 9 years old, years. Over the years, I've been able to more or less control it though some situations trigger my GAD and then I find it really hard (almost impossible) to keep control of my thoughts.
After not dating since 2005 (my relationship was devastating and didn't want to see anyone), I've started seeing a woman that I'm very taken by. She and me have lot's in common, and we been dating for about two months...
Those who know me say that I'm a very kind person and that I treat others with love and respect... the problem is that sometimes I think I'm too nice and I think that because I like her so much I have been selling myself short by letting her set all the rules and the times when she can see me. And now that I let myself really get to like her, my GAD is making think and worry about every little detail about the relationship...
The problem is that it's really starting to affect my work, to the point were I have been irresponsible and I'm now late in some very important projects:-( to be fair my GAD has caused me to be late in projects before but with a new relationship things are getting really out of hand. All I can do is think and worry about whether I will push her away or if she will leave me. The weird thing is that I don't know if she is right for me, as a matter of fact, It's hard to explain: in some ways she's my ideal and in other ways she's not at all...I seem to feel anxious around her and I'm always second guessing myself... now I'm at the end of my rope, all I do is have uncontrollable GAD, to the point were I don't eat, sleep exercise or do any of the things that I love doing...
On a super positive note, by dieting, and doing exercise I've lost 40 pounds in the past six months (since I was overweight that kept me away from approaching possible women and it made me feel unwanted/unattractive,) Now that I'm back to my healthy weight... for the first time in 5 years I feel a lot better (less anxiety) :noangel:
I also just got a new job for the government that will allow me to use my professional career skills and to travel around the country... but now this worries me because of all the travel (I'll be gone at times for 3 weeks at a time) and I worry to death about how that will affect my new relationship...
Should I take the job offer? It was very hard to get the offer but now I'm feeling second thoughts about it... i'm not sure i'll be good at it!!!!
As for my 2 month relationship, I feel like she has all the control, and that I'm living for every phone call or date that we have... there are things about her that worry me and I think I know deep inside that this will not work... but then i feel guilty that it could be my GAD... though she has manic behavior that triggers this...
It's just that I get that old GAD symptom of "I'll never meet anyone that I like again" "This could be the last opportunity for love for me" blah blah blah... then I feel guilty for being weird around her, but her manic behavior makes me anxious...
these thoughts are all I have and I can't stop them, I don't want all the progress that i've done in my career and self to go to waste, and go back to living with my parents... I'm not sure if i'm in love with her or if it's just my old separation anxiety making me feel that I'am...
I feel that I'm at a crossroads...
any advise will be more than welcome... and thank you for hearing my issue, It felt good to put it into words,,,,
First thanks for making this such a great forum, reading through some of the posts has given me the realization that I'm not alone...I've been suffering from GAD since I was 9 years old, years. Over the years, I've been able to more or less control it though some situations trigger my GAD and then I find it really hard (almost impossible) to keep control of my thoughts.
After not dating since 2005 (my relationship was devastating and didn't want to see anyone), I've started seeing a woman that I'm very taken by. She and me have lot's in common, and we been dating for about two months...
Those who know me say that I'm a very kind person and that I treat others with love and respect... the problem is that sometimes I think I'm too nice and I think that because I like her so much I have been selling myself short by letting her set all the rules and the times when she can see me. And now that I let myself really get to like her, my GAD is making think and worry about every little detail about the relationship...
The problem is that it's really starting to affect my work, to the point were I have been irresponsible and I'm now late in some very important projects:-( to be fair my GAD has caused me to be late in projects before but with a new relationship things are getting really out of hand. All I can do is think and worry about whether I will push her away or if she will leave me. The weird thing is that I don't know if she is right for me, as a matter of fact, It's hard to explain: in some ways she's my ideal and in other ways she's not at all...I seem to feel anxious around her and I'm always second guessing myself... now I'm at the end of my rope, all I do is have uncontrollable GAD, to the point were I don't eat, sleep exercise or do any of the things that I love doing...
On a super positive note, by dieting, and doing exercise I've lost 40 pounds in the past six months (since I was overweight that kept me away from approaching possible women and it made me feel unwanted/unattractive,) Now that I'm back to my healthy weight... for the first time in 5 years I feel a lot better (less anxiety) :noangel:
I also just got a new job for the government that will allow me to use my professional career skills and to travel around the country... but now this worries me because of all the travel (I'll be gone at times for 3 weeks at a time) and I worry to death about how that will affect my new relationship...
Should I take the job offer? It was very hard to get the offer but now I'm feeling second thoughts about it... i'm not sure i'll be good at it!!!!
As for my 2 month relationship, I feel like she has all the control, and that I'm living for every phone call or date that we have... there are things about her that worry me and I think I know deep inside that this will not work... but then i feel guilty that it could be my GAD... though she has manic behavior that triggers this...
It's just that I get that old GAD symptom of "I'll never meet anyone that I like again" "This could be the last opportunity for love for me" blah blah blah... then I feel guilty for being weird around her, but her manic behavior makes me anxious...
these thoughts are all I have and I can't stop them, I don't want all the progress that i've done in my career and self to go to waste, and go back to living with my parents... I'm not sure if i'm in love with her or if it's just my old separation anxiety making me feel that I'am...
I feel that I'm at a crossroads...
any advise will be more than welcome... and thank you for hearing my issue, It felt good to put it into words,,,,