went to see oncall pshyc

[lonely]

:weep: i was feeling awful today i tried everything to overcome it, but it just wasn't to be, i didn't want to hurt myself or anything so took myself upto a&e and asked to see a member of mental health team explained why and they got me to see somebody, i was right state thinking what if this is a complate waste of time and everything i say will not be listened to or anything done about it asap like nothing seemed to come rfrom it after discharge last week from hospital
i had a compklete panic attack and in tears couldn't sit in the reception stood behind the wall soo receptionist got the doc took me about 20mins to actually calm down to point where he could understand me, he made me a cup of tea and i also had the water went through loads of tissues
explained my distress that gp didnt listen to me of concerns of therapy being to far for me to travel on chekcing it would take 3buses to get there in my state id never make it
also mentioned about beung worse at time of month which nithing seems to have been done to help, after my positive thinking when being discharged last week from hosp after speaking to specialist
gp mentioned about not cutting or making myself sick etc, it soo hard not to harm especially when you have done soo for soo long cant just stop things like that, im scared if i do ive failed
i also mentioned about the promazine being cut down and now my panic attacks are worse i can't sleep im racing around the house cannot rest and i would like to be back on 50mg 3 times a day not 25mg 3times a day as it does nothing and i cant keep sitting up in bed till early hours of 2am, 3am or even 5am in the morning and waking up feeling dead, i have to explain to gp at next visit how i promise i wont take more, well if they sort my pmt out that will put a stop to it, i explianed i wouldn't anyway as now on tablets last time was on liquid medcine which was easer to take more then i should of
discussed about going inpatient but said id see how i was the next week as then i see keyworker if i still feel bad will go back in before
but there is no way i can travel soo far for therapy especcially if its 5days a week, gp was on about me wanting to see someone everyday, which isn't true, i know ill get even more depressed having to talk about everything other and other again
everytime i get referred for something im referred for something else its driving me up the wall
the gp said that i seem to get on ok with pshychiatrist as im used to them now
and how i didn't with cpn, ive only seen them twice and they havnt got back to me from last week or given me next appointment at first one they mentioned referrals i had only been in 10mins :weep:

[PoppyC]

Awww Lonely...You sound like you have had a terrible day. I am so sorry.
How are you feeling now?
Was they psychiatrist helpful?
I think you did the right thing in going to the A&E Dept and asking to speak to a member of the mental health team, for help.
Have you heard back from the CPN? Do you have a phone number for her? I know you should not have to contact her and she should contact you, but maybe you could call her and find out what is happening.
I think travelling on 3 buses to get to your therapy session at 5 times a week is a bit much, especially with the way you are feeling ! Is there nothing more local to you?
There is a lot that can be done for PMT. You dont have to suffer with it these days. I was diagnosed with PMDD which is a severe form of PMS a long time ago, and I have had a lot of help for it since then. PMT does make our anxiety and other issues much worse. What is happening regarding that?
I am really sorry you are going through this and I hope that eventually you get the help you need and deserve, and start feeling much better.
Hugs to you :hugs::flowers:

[lonely]

well i don't want to take the pill and was recommened the injection 'depo' by a consultant doctor at hosp last week spoke to gp and they said they wouldn't want me to have it with eating probs, but i still have periods ive requested it again with pshych today saying it cant go on like this making me feel more down then ever and soo depressed i feel like giving up
but i hope the injections dont have putting on weight side effects either or breasts going bigger i want them smaller even though they are average size i hate them :blush: :weep:
what can be done for the pmt problem?

i was thinking of phoning cpn seeing what was going on but chickened out if it, the gp yesterday was on about how often i get to see them think they said cpn twice month ive only seen them twice in 2months i think and i thought they were meant to help you

the oncall pshych asked before end of meeting how much better if any i felt i said there was 20percent improvement since i first walked in, im still depressed and worried but hoping he keeps his promises and can sort things out

[PoppyC]

Hi again :)
Why not give the CPN a call and find out whats happening, just to put your mind at rest. You should be seen more often than once a month I think, especially with how depressed you are.
Regarding my PMT, I saw a specialist and also I had the Mirena coil, plus I have also had in the past, various hormone treatments and oestrogen patches. I had to take Vit B6 tablets, and Evening Primrose oil and follow a healthy diet. I have tried so many things. My PMS was that bad I wanted a full hysterectomy but wasn't allowed it. I still get it bad now but its better than what it was, however I now am taking citalopram for my anxiety, and for the first time ever, last month I had no PMT, none whatsoever and again this month I have had no signs so far! It has really helped me. I just wish I had taken this years ago!
Anyway I really hope you get the help you need.
You want smaller boobs??? I want bigger boobs!!!! lol

[lonely]

mine are average size boobs :blush: everyone says they are small but i don't like them and want them smaller :blush: i hope they can sort pmt out its driving me insane

yeah the doctor at hosp last week told me take vitamin b b taking multi vitamins i bought some but not took any iet :shrug: :blush:

i also want to spen abit maybe as inpatient to get me back to some normality even if it was just say a week but gp doesn't agree, but they ought to try living as me for a day see how they feel, i know it must come from me but with all other things going on its getting soo difficult, maybe if i go in for week they can monitor my moods and medication that way, maybe it could help, maybe not i don't really know, but im losing the fight :scared15:

i don't know what its like as inpatient but gp says i would hate it with all other patients with probs the noise etc, but sometimes i feel i need that break to see if it helps, i was offered voluntary admission last week and today, but said see how i was next week if no better maybe, and told if feel as bad or worse in coming week to go to a&e earlier

[nomorepanic]

You do not want to go to hospital by choice trust me - horrid horrid place and you get no sleep and no peace and it drives you barmy!

If you weren't depressed when you went in you will be when you come out trust me!

[sunshine-lady]

I agree with Nic,

I have been an inpatient several times in 3 different psychiatrict hospitals (twice under a section) and they can be very scarey places. There are some very ill people in there. People who don't know where they are, others that are detoxing from drugs/alcohol/substance abuse and that are shouting, vomiting and hallucinating. The noise can be unbearable at times and I always was on edge waiting for the next person to kick off. When someone does kick off the staff set off alarms to get assistance, this happens both night and day. Also, you don't have and privacy as the doors all have a glass panel and the staff come around on a night and shine a torch on you to make sure that you are still in bed. It would certainly not be a break for you.

As Poppy mentioned, I think it would be better for you to call your CPN. Your CPN can arrange for you to have extra support at home via the Crisis Team. I have had the support of the Crisis Team, in the past and found them great. They call out to see you and you have a phone number that you can call 24/7.

Hope you feel better soon :hugs: