lonely
20-05-09, 19:54
:weep: i was feeling awful today i tried everything to overcome it, but it just wasn't to be, i didn't want to hurt myself or anything so took myself upto a&e and asked to see a member of mental health team explained why and they got me to see somebody, i was right state thinking what if this is a complate waste of time and everything i say will not be listened to or anything done about it asap like nothing seemed to come rfrom it after discharge last week from hospital
i had a compklete panic attack and in tears couldn't sit in the reception stood behind the wall soo receptionist got the doc took me about 20mins to actually calm down to point where he could understand me, he made me a cup of tea and i also had the water went through loads of tissues
explained my distress that gp didnt listen to me of concerns of therapy being to far for me to travel on chekcing it would take 3buses to get there in my state id never make it
also mentioned about beung worse at time of month which nithing seems to have been done to help, after my positive thinking when being discharged last week from hosp after speaking to specialist
gp mentioned about not cutting or making myself sick etc, it soo hard not to harm especially when you have done soo for soo long cant just stop things like that, im scared if i do ive failed
i also mentioned about the promazine being cut down and now my panic attacks are worse i can't sleep im racing around the house cannot rest and i would like to be back on 50mg 3 times a day not 25mg 3times a day as it does nothing and i cant keep sitting up in bed till early hours of 2am, 3am or even 5am in the morning and waking up feeling dead, i have to explain to gp at next visit how i promise i wont take more, well if they sort my pmt out that will put a stop to it, i explianed i wouldn't anyway as now on tablets last time was on liquid medcine which was easer to take more then i should of
discussed about going inpatient but said id see how i was the next week as then i see keyworker if i still feel bad will go back in before
but there is no way i can travel soo far for therapy especcially if its 5days a week, gp was on about me wanting to see someone everyday, which isn't true, i know ill get even more depressed having to talk about everything other and other again
everytime i get referred for something im referred for something else its driving me up the wall
the gp said that i seem to get on ok with pshychiatrist as im used to them now
and how i didn't with cpn, ive only seen them twice and they havnt got back to me from last week or given me next appointment at first one they mentioned referrals i had only been in 10mins :weep:
i had a compklete panic attack and in tears couldn't sit in the reception stood behind the wall soo receptionist got the doc took me about 20mins to actually calm down to point where he could understand me, he made me a cup of tea and i also had the water went through loads of tissues
explained my distress that gp didnt listen to me of concerns of therapy being to far for me to travel on chekcing it would take 3buses to get there in my state id never make it
also mentioned about beung worse at time of month which nithing seems to have been done to help, after my positive thinking when being discharged last week from hosp after speaking to specialist
gp mentioned about not cutting or making myself sick etc, it soo hard not to harm especially when you have done soo for soo long cant just stop things like that, im scared if i do ive failed
i also mentioned about the promazine being cut down and now my panic attacks are worse i can't sleep im racing around the house cannot rest and i would like to be back on 50mg 3 times a day not 25mg 3times a day as it does nothing and i cant keep sitting up in bed till early hours of 2am, 3am or even 5am in the morning and waking up feeling dead, i have to explain to gp at next visit how i promise i wont take more, well if they sort my pmt out that will put a stop to it, i explianed i wouldn't anyway as now on tablets last time was on liquid medcine which was easer to take more then i should of
discussed about going inpatient but said id see how i was the next week as then i see keyworker if i still feel bad will go back in before
but there is no way i can travel soo far for therapy especcially if its 5days a week, gp was on about me wanting to see someone everyday, which isn't true, i know ill get even more depressed having to talk about everything other and other again
everytime i get referred for something im referred for something else its driving me up the wall
the gp said that i seem to get on ok with pshychiatrist as im used to them now
and how i didn't with cpn, ive only seen them twice and they havnt got back to me from last week or given me next appointment at first one they mentioned referrals i had only been in 10mins :weep: