Can anyone relate?

[JacobM]

I was just curious if anyone could relate to this-

I didn't get much sleep last night as I was up late reading. I had some bad anxiety last night (my friend went out with other friends and I got upset and then worried that I was upset because they went to bar and that led me to worry that I wanted to drink, which I don't want to do). Woke up today, tired and all that I wanted to do was go back to bed but had to perform some mandatory work tasks. I had a whole bunch of post-it notes up of things I wanted to do, but my body was so tense all I wanted to do was go back to bed. I set my alarm to get up but I felt physically incapable of doing task because I was so tense. I shake and hide under blankets until I fall back asleep. I did wake up and had dinner but felt really tense all evening. My muscles are all tight and my hands are shaky and whenever I get a thought in my head like "What if I drink?" I dig my nails into my hands really hard and tense my body even more than it already is. My back is hurting mildly now from all the tension.

The thing is that I feel like I don't have to feel this way or the fact that the anxiety is brought on by my jealousy about my friend makes it my fault. I guess I feel like I could do something about it and that I'm doing it on purpose or something. I don't know, it's gotten to the point where I don't want to feel this way but I don't know how not to. Does this make sense?

[~Mary~]

Hi Jacob,
You make perfect sense! And im sure a lot of people can relate to this. Tiredness always gets the best of me after my anxiety has been really bad. Having such bad anxiety attacks is really hard on your body not just your mind and its so exhausting! Just like you I feel physically incapable of moving. I'm still in highschool and I havent even started my junior year yet, when I was supposed to over a week ago becuase I have become so paralyzed with my panic and anxiety.

I too suffer from horrible shaking, I just cant stop. And my neck and back are almost always sore from all the tension. A therapist I saw told me to remind myself at different parts of the day to check if I'm tensing my muscles becuase its so easy to do without realizing it. I also see a massage therapist thats able to help with medical conditions such as anxiety disorder. Maybe you could look into that sometime. ? It really seems to help me.

Sometimes I feel like my reason for feeling like this is my fault too. I find different ways to blame myelf for it. But really I know that its not my fault, although I can do things to help it get better, its not my fault and I cant just make it dissapear, you know? So dont ever feel guilty about it. Sorry to ramble on, I just wanted you to know that me and so many other people relate to how you're feeling. I hope that things get better for you.


Much love & Best wishes,

~*~MaRy

[curlybird]

Hi Jacob,

I can relate to this - and its not very nice. I often sit at work trembling, feeling really tense and then I start to sweat like mad. It's really uncomfortable and by the end of the day I'm sooooo exhausted all I want to do is sleep.

Yesterday I had no energy at all and just wanted to crawl back under the covers [xx(]

I really hope you feel better soon - you're definitely in the right place for support and advice - this is a great site!

:)
take care
Luv Curly xx

[JacobM]

Mary and curlybird,

Thanks so much for your kind words. They really did help.