GAD and Alcohol

[articangelshusband]

hi all husband of newly diagnosed gad sufferer here. my wife's doing brilliantly and im really seeing the improvement in her since she started the course of medication. i don't think that she understands how proud i am of her and how much she means to me. she has asked me to sign on this site to understand more about what is affecting her and i think that it is a good idea.

the one issue i have is her drinking; she has really cut down but doesnt seem to be able to stop after one or two and quite often wants more. she doesn't see this as a problem but this wouldn't be an issue except that i can sit there and watch the change in her. its hard to let her get on drinking when i know that 30% of the time it will cause her to get anxious and upset.

i get the impression that she feels that i am trying to make her old before her time.

i know that the consensus will be little bits at a time but when i see the change in her it hard. i'd like to know if anyone else has experienced the same or if anyone can tell me if they have experienced problems with gad and alcohol.

maybe im just being over protective. im happy to accept if im wrong i just want to do what's best any advice greatly received and appreciated.

anyway thanks for reading and honey i know you'll see it so just know that i love you and just worry about you xx

[Captain America]

i used alcohol for many years to control my anxiety symptoms. typically, i'd plan on only having one or two and end up having 12.

anxiety levels after the first few were usually fine. occasionally, after having too much, i'd open up about things that were bothering me that i wasn't acknowledging. in hingsight, many of these were coming from anxiety...like, the brilliant move i made when i questioned my wife about whether she was cheating on me or not. so in her mind, i was behaving like a paranoid person because of the alcohol, when in reality i had these feelings, but didn't show them until i was a few sheets to the wind.

eventually, i started to experience what many people refer to on here, which is high anxiety the day after. after numerous trips to the emergency room on such days for rapid heart rate, chest pains, etc, i finally decided that i should lay off the alcohol.

for a while i still occasionally stuggled....plan on only having one but ending up wrecking myself. for the most part i gradually have been able to eliminate alcohol altogether and manage my anxiety through other means. this was hard at first. i'd lost my outlet! but in time i learned that what i thought was helping was really just an escape hatch, and the problems weren't going anywhere using that method.

i don't know if it helps, but that's my story. i'm sure there's more to tell, but every time i start telling a long story like that i think of the part in the movie airplane where he's boring the hell out of all the passengers.

and please note...that's just my story and i'm not implying that it applies to anyone else on here in any way. but maybe it does and if it does, maybe it helps.

[Captain America]

oh and also, i also felt that my wife was trying to change me. i suppose somewhere in me that led to some resentment...especially as she continued to enjoy alcohol and go out with her friends while telling me it wasn't good for ME. in the end she may have been right, but it is important that your wife makes changes for herself (with you in mind, yes, but for herself). control and decision making is an important part of anxiety, so if a person does not feel they are making their own choices then anxiety gets stronger.

this is a very important thing to remember. many of us with anxiety are passive about our worlds. we accept change rather than affect it. it's important in taking on anxiety that the paths we take are OUR decisions, for US. taking paths that others have chosen for us does not build the self esteem and confidence needed to take on anxiety. that's not to say you should not be there to advise and help, but in the end as with all things, ultimately we have to make our own choices about such things.

okay now i've really gone on too long. anyone still reading this even?

[jaymv83]

i think alcohol was what helped bring on my anxiety as i felt terrible the morning after a night on the drink but thought mybe it was dehydration until i ended up being told at hospital its anxiety, I used to drink large amounts daily but since taking medication i've only had a few pints and felt horrible after them, i've also had to half my propranolol as the 80mg s/r capsules made my heart rate too slow (51bpm) i was alcohol dependant and it was hard the 1st few weeks, now i don't want a drink again as i already feel better for it, keep alcohol away from your wife so 1 drink don't become many, i can't have 1 drink i have to have more so i stay away from it as i know what it can do and also did to my life