help with moving forward

[sophie15]

my life feels like one big mess, every time i seem to take one step forward not too long after it feels like i've gone three steps back.
i feel like nothing is going to go right for me, that i'm to blame for my life being this way as a punishment.
i'm now off sick from work, which i don't like but my immediate line manager decided one day to stop speaking to me and decided to make my life hell, she refuses to tell me what i've done wrong, but appears quite happy to tell other people at work who have turned against me, i've asked these people to tell me what i've done and they say, we can't tell you. my company it seems do not want to do anything about this which doesn't help.
i seem to think about things 24/7 and can't move on even 8 months later, i was wondering if anyone has any advice?

[NoPoet]

Yeah, you need to go over your line manager's head and report her to her superior. This kind of behaviour is utterly unacceptable -- if it is happening exactly the way you describe, it is nothing short of bullying.

[melody]

I HATE BULLIES!!! You are not to blame for this. This person is likely to have narcissistic personality disorder. They see weakness & act in this horrible way to innocent people. It's very unfair of them. I doubt you have done anything wrong at all. That's why no one can tell you, because there isn't anything, or if there is, it's so unreasonable of the manager to overreact like this, that to say anything would make them look stupid!

I've had a company do this to me before. It starts with a manager & spreads to all the staff like poison. Everyone was brainwashed with these rubbish ideas & they loved to grovel to the boss, no matter how strange the manager became. Otherwise they would be the next to cop it. I cried every day at that time of my life. I put up with it for two years.

They blessed me. They fired me & I was forced to get out. Best thing that ever happened to me. I found a much better job with some retraining. I don't know why I stayed for so long, I believed their lies that there was something wrong with me. Bullies are good at that. They are poisonous.

Please take some time out from believing their lies to think about if you are in the best place for you. There are a lot of jobs out there, & not all of them reward bullies. I didn't know that before, but I know it now. The longer you stay in that harmful environment, the more they will try & crush your gentle spirit & you don't deserve it. I've found these type of people like to try to destroy people who are better at things than they are, because it enrages them because underneath they are so insecure. You may notice them rewarding the incompetent & the suck ups. Think about your options. Can you transfer to a different part of the company under a different manager? Is there any other jobs you are qualified to do? This is not normal behavior from your manager & it's very wrong of them to treat you this way.

Keep your chin up :) It will be OK!

Melody

[sophie15]

i just wanted to say a big thank you for your replies, it's good to know others out there are decent human beings, so again many thanks.

[lorac]

Hi

Your Line Manager should know better and if she has a problem with you she should sort it out like a responsible adult, you should report her she should not treat you like that.

Be kinder to yourself you are going through a bad phase and this matter at work is not helping you, things will improve for you soon but you do need to get the work thing sorted. Keep taking those steps forward because you will get there in the end Sophie.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Carol

[fillyjonk]

Hi,

I left my job due to a bully - I've experienced how manipulative these people can be and often they do get away with it - sounds like it is totally unacceptable behaviour going on and yes, you must go to someone higher up than your Line Manager, maybe someone in personnel department. There will be someone. Also very much sounds like she is not treating your circumstances confidentially either. Do try to do something about it, this is a very common problem in the workplace and I now how stressful it is. Also may be worth making notes and dates of all that's happened

Have you thought about trying to look for a job somewhere else? I know this is not as easy as I make it sound!!:blush: I haven't looked back since I left my job in the end. I could've taken my case further but decided to walk away without extra stress. Maybe it wasn't right but I'm glad I did.

Hope you can get some more help with your problem - let us know how you go. Fillyjonk

[nedtapo]

Sophie,

You should tell your GP how you feel and ask about CBT. Its called cognative behavioural therapy or something. I have heard good things about it.

Thinks positive. Don't dwell. Do things which distract you.

Best,

Tapo