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View Full Version : can ALL THIS be just anxiety?so low :-(



majdle
24-05-09, 18:57
Hello everybody,
yes, me again. :-( I am in Germany for a semester as an exchange student, this was supposed to be the best time of me life and it truly is apart from...my health. I´ve been feeling like crapy since January - generally crappy, tired, achy..I´ve got muscle aches, I get all sorts of chills, my muscles are always stiff, I have digestion problems and a bunch of other things. But this fatigue is the worst. It just won´t go away. I´d love to go out with the others and go for trips like the rest and simply enjoy life, yes, the head would love to, but physically, I am not able to do much. I used to be the most active person before - I went to school, worked two jobs and had all sorts of hobbies, worked late night shifts and didn´t have to sleep...and now? If I walk some 5 km it takes me three days to recover. Drinking is out of the question - I cut down on coffee and chocolate and meat thinking it was maybe a reaction of my organism to not very healthy eating habits. Didn´t help. First I was so scared I had pancreatic cancer because of the indigestion and stomach pains.. Then I was scared of DVT because my legs hurt. Currently I´m scared of HIV, since I have reoccurring candida infections - you guess where. (OK, I only had unprotected sex once when the cpondom fell off and I always got my guys and myself tested, but what if I hadn´t noticed something???). After months of agony, I caught a train back home to see my doc (afraid to go to a doc here - I have an insurance, but I don´t know if it would cover the check up if it shows to be "nothing".) The doc ran all sorts of blood tests - not cancer markers and not HIV and found there´s nothing wrong with me. I asked him for the cancer markers, too, but he said that if there was something seriously wrong with me, all the bloodtest would show some irregularities or at least something...But there´s nothing at all with the exception of chlaymdia (wonder where I got them - as I said before I´ve always been anxiously careful about THESE things). And then the muscle cramps and general soreness. It makes me depressed - I mean, I´m only 25 and I´m feeling like 80 and I´m so scared this won´t ever get better. OK, I have very stressful 2 years behind me of very hard work, scarce sleep and going to work with flus and stuff and also some very emotional family issues. But I´ve always been so strong and easily got it all done and now? I mean, I have such a relaxed schedule, I can rest all I want, nothing is stressing me, this is like half a year of vacation and instead of enjoying it, I can barely scrape myself off the bed. And then the abdominal pains and all that jazz, stomach pains, sleep disturbances...I am just so down - I mean - this all can´t be just anxiety, can it? Any help, any word is appreciated. Thank you all so much. Maggie

annie pannie
24-05-09, 22:38
Hi Majdle

I'm really sorry you are feeling so bad - just posted myself cos I was feeling low then read your post and really felt for you. The question you ask "Is it all really anxiety" is a hard one for us because we are not doctors but if the doctor has done all the tests then the answer is very probably "yes". You seem to be telling yourself off for not being, as you see it, stronger than you seem, but from what you say, you have had some pretty hard years behind you and your body needs to recover from that. You might need to give yourself permission to take that time to recover. The mind is very very powerful and it works in both positive and negative ways so sadly, the symptoms you have could all very easily be produced by anxiety and stress - notable ones are sleep disturbances and extreme fatigue- both of which I have suffered with for years, beleived that they were due to another condition, and now because my stress levels have gone down (with a major wobble today!!), the symptoms too have reduced dramatically. Be kind to yourself and don't berate yourself for not getting better sooner - take whatever time you need it will get better and recognise the steps forward you take.

Best wishes Annie x x