Totally bloody stupid reaction.

[mau]

Over this bank holiday my lovely daughter has been trying to contact me via all mediums known to her. I have ignored all emails and phone calls.

Today all the phones have rung numerous times, she emailed me to all my email addresses that she knows.

All she wanted to do was take me out for lunch and go walking with my dog.

Yet I was in a total mess, so much so I couldn't even flush the loo 'cause I was positive she was at the front door and would hear me flush.

She's a lovely girl and knows I'm on 'happy tab's'.

This is getting out of hand tho' 'cause I've avoided seeing her since before Christmas.


If I'm really honest: I've avoided all contact from family and friends.

I'll shut up now because I'm rambling

[Bluebelle]

Hi Mau
I am sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I know how hard it can be when you're struggling with this- sometimes I think I put myself through more stress avoiding people than I would endure actually meeting with them !

I can totally relate to you not flushing I have done that as well as not walking around my house or watching TV. I have ended up l with every single window sealed off with curtains/ sheets and then ying perfectly still on my bed hiding from people.

It can be so hard especially when it is your family- I wish I could be of help - just know you're not alone- you have a friend here
Take Care Mau
Bluebelle

[mau]

Thanks Bluebelle,

thing is I know I'm being irrational.

And I know I've become an accomplished liar in order to keep family and friends away.

I have a myriad of plausible excuses for avoiding social gatherings..

[nomorepanic]

Mau - why are you keeping the family away?

I assume she knows that you are doing this and could be very hurt by it.

Imagine if the clocks were turned and you were trying to contact her and she ignored you - how would you feel?

Why not let them help you?

Don't cut people out cos one day you will want them and they won't be there.

Please try and sort this out with her - she must be very worried about you.

[mau]

My world fell apart when she left home to go to Uni'...

She is everything I'm not.

[nomorepanic]

Then you are very very proud of her and must show her that.

Please think about it.

[PoppyC]

Hi Mau
My world fell apart when my son left home to go to university. I was living alone and I went through the whole empty nest syndrome and I was only mid 30's. It was one of the most awful times I have been through. I don't have any other children.
I am so proud of my son and tell him constantly. I brought him up alone.He doesn't live at home because he has his own place now and is going onto a Masters degree.
I try to be the best mum I can to him despite how bad I feel with anxiety and panic.
I too see my son as everything I am not, but I don't hold that against him - I am just so immensely proud of him.
He would be absolutely devastated if I ignored him. It would break his heart, even at 21 years old. He still needs me and I am always there for him.
I can relate to what you say about not wanting to see other people and want to be on your own - I have been there,and still am to a certain extent, but I never pushed my son away, I could never ever hurt him that way, no matter what I go through.
Please don't do this to your daughter. Let her see you. She must be going through an awful time and must be absolutely heartbroken. Let her in and tell her how you are feeling, please.

[mau]

I have coping mechanisms in place, which have served me well for the last 30 years.

My kids are unaware of these issues

I know I overeacted about my daughter visiting.

[Tori Frances]

Just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you. You know you have to let your daughter in but don't feel too guilty. You have been going through hell and have done the best you knew how to do. You have obviously been a good mum as your daughter clearly cares about you a great deal. Have you had counselling about feelings around daughter?

[mau]

You lot are a lovely bunch, thanks for the replies.

I phoned her last night and lied through my teeth that I'd been out for most of the day.