I'm losing it. Please speak to me!

[MOJO]

It's me losing the plot again. I'm so wound up, anxious and scared. I can't calm down:weep: :weep: :weep: How on earth can I live like this? I feel i'm never going to be well again. I have had bad of balance feelings for a while. Not all time but a lot. My anxiety was getting bit better but dizziness frightenend me so much my anxiety has got really bad again. Doctor thinks it might be my ear as I have had trouble with it before. (operations). It will be ages before I get an appt. at ENT though.
I have my nieces wedding in 10 days and don't know how I can get through it. I so want to be there for her. Lots of people coming as well so they will all come to see me and it all feels like too much. I should be looking forward to it. I have holiday booked too but can't even think about going. I get in a state even going to shops. What can I do? I hate giving in and not doing things but when I try I feel like I will collapse or the dizzy feeling comes and I just can't.
Sorry I'm waffling...I just feel desperate. I'm trying to ignore, float etc. but can't seem to do it.. that means I'll never get better....:weep: :weep: :weep:

[nickieb]

Judy until you learn to relax it wont go. I have been there and its awful but really distraction & relaxation if the key.
My advice would be have a few drinks to calm your nerves, chat to people etc & hopefully this will ensure you dont concentrate on it.

Its sooo hard i know but overtime it does go x

[MOJO]

Thank you Nicola. :hugs: It's nice to know someone is listening. I know I have to get the hang of relaxing properly. Sometimes I can, but when I'm really bad I find it so hard to do. x

[magpie girl]

Hi judy,i had a bad night last night, and i also feel out of sorts today,try and take your mind off things dont overload your mind. Im very jittery and my anxiety is way up but im hoping it will drop if i just stay focused on this site for a while,it will pass just give it time

[MOJO]

Thank you magpiegirl:hugs: I know i'm not alone and it does help. I know i'm selfish 'cos there are lots of people worse off than me. This illness makes you like that sometimes though.

[june]

Hi MOJO, Sending you some hugs:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
You have worked your self into such a state:weep: you have so many things to think about they have "hit" you all at once.

Wound up anxious and scared = too much worrying / thinking about your probems:blush:
Dizziness and balance = could be your ears:blush: more likely your anxiety:blush:
Your neices wedding = are you any good at making lists?? deciding on what you will wear / how you will get there / sit with / look forward to seing / who will be there to support you if you feel the need?
Same with your holiday - the lists usually help to organise your thought so they don't get in a tangle.Hope this helps:hugs:
I know most of the dizziness comes from fear - suffer it myself:blush:
Best wishes
June
:hugs: :hugs:

[MOJO]

Hello June. Thankyou for that.:hugs: The lists seem like a good idea. I will try that. You are right I think everything is just building up in me. So much in my head. I feel I am disintegrating day by day.
Thankyou again for caring.:bighug1:

[magpie girl]

hi judy are you feeling any better after the set back this morning,

[deb-22]

hi judy I too had a bad day today went to the garden centre and was sure I was going to faint...but I didnt ...have you tried a relaxation tape I have a couple one is just waves of the sea I think they help good luck x

[MOJO]

Thank you both. I feel a bit less anxious tonight but still really off balance. If I move much at all I feel like I am going to be sick and fall over.:ohmy:

[gemma.l]

I know how you feel. Ive missed 2 of my best friends 18ths this year because I can't get out of my area. I feel disappointed with myself. The best thing to do about your niece's wedding is to try your very best to make a show. If all of your family know what you go through they will be so proud you can make an appearance. And just remember you can leave at any time! Nobody will force you to stay. Just remember its your life you can control where you go. Its easy enough for me to say you should go because ive been avoiding going to things but I am going to my cousins 21st on saturday no matter what. I will let you know how it goes :) Let me know how it goes for you x

[MOJO]

Thank you Gemma.
I hope all goes well for you on Saturday. Enjoy yourself. I will really make an effort to be at the wedding. I will let you know how it goes. My family are all well aware of my situation and will be there to support me. x

[gypsywomen]

hi i am new on here i have the same problem as you never had light head when i first started with this but now i do.like you it scares me ,,my docter perscribed BCCASTEN 3MG,for the dizzyness ,,so far they seem to help, you could try them ,i am going to my granddaughters christening on sunday dreading it ,but know i have got to make the effort, we have to push ourselves,dont we,,hope you feel better soon love margaret:hugs:

[MOJO]

Hello Margaret,
Welcome to the site.:hugs: It's really good to hear from people who understand what you're going through isn't it?
Yes, this dizziness is a nightmare. I will look into the medication you mention as anything that helps would be great.
Hope we both get through our big days out!!!x

[gypsywomen]

yes mojo it is awfull do try these tabs, no bad side affects ifanything stop sickness tum churning and helps feeling dizzy truly ,i have loads of diff tabs these are the best,still dreading sunday but i will have to go face it ,,when there in my mind count down from a 1000 backwards it helps and keeps you focused ,thank you for the welcome margaret :hugs:

[gemma.l]

Hey mojo I went to my party yesterday. I went to two to be exact. I was out from 7 o clock until 12 o clock and was so proud of myself :) You will feel so much better for going.. with me its the panic of getting there and actually getting myself out. Once I was there the conversations and different people kept my mind of anything negative. Let me know how you get on x

[MOJO]

Hello Gemma!
Well done for going yesterday and getting on so well.:yesyes: You must be really proud of yourself and so you should be!
Your success has given me a bit of encouragement. I hope I do as well as you. I will let you know after the weekend.x

[MOJO]

Hi Gemma,
Well the wedding was yesterday. I felt awful all morning before I went, but I managed to do my reading although I felt faint walking up to do it. After that I calmed down and went on to the reception and evening do. Apart from a small bad spell after the meal I felt better and more alive than I have for ages. I stayed right till the end at 1.30!!!!:yesyes:

Only thing is I got up this morning and felt bad as ever.:weep: I don't understand why. If you feel good one day why on earth can't it continue. It's so upsetting. However, I'm so glad I could do what I did yesterday, for my niece and for myself. I must try and take the positives from the fact that I managed and enjoyed it when I never thought I could.

I hope you are doing ok.xx

[MOJO]

Thanks Tetley!
I guess it is a huge achievement really. Maybe I'm too hard on myself!:blush: x

[gemma.l]

Hey Mojo I'm so happy for you! Bet you felt great afterwards knowing you had achieved something. Especially staying there until the end which you didn't expect to do!! Yeah try not to focus on the negatives. We all have good days and bad days. Don't think of it as a step backwards because panic attacks don't just vanish.. I'm the same.
Yesterday I slept my boyfriends house which i havent been able to do since February. All the way to the bus stop my heart was racing and I was so tempted to take my diazepam but I stuck through the bad and ended up sleeping and was fine all night and all of today :).
Just remember to control your own life and not let panic attacks ruin them! You proved you can do it by going to the wedding!! Congratulations.
x