Fight with my sister, feel terrible

[FRANKIEISBACK]

My sister has come down for a few days, she has a lovely neice who I adore, anyway she has just started a new business and has been trying all evening to access some e mails on my computer, I have tried to help but earlier on lost my temper(I am having a very bad time at the moment) and swore at her...it gets worse !!

Any way I went up to her later and said Im sorry, and made her a cup of tea.

The rest of the evening I have been trying to help, we had one more go and then she said I want to have a go later, things escalated again because I wanted an early nite so I said f off again, she said dont bother apologising then I said please dont wind me up she said dont you threaten me so I had had enough I grabbed her and basically forced her out of the computer room with her screaming at me. I know one should never use force on anyone(might I say here I didnt strike her) but I was so ****** angry, I know she cannot see inside and know how bad mental health problems are but all my family have never really read or educated themselves about these conditions,christ i even tried to get hold of a self help book for her because she had endemetreosis, I am not a thug but I just completeley lost my temper with her, she was just stsnding there and I thought sister if you had any idea of what it is like to suffer like this you wouldnt be so blinking beligerent over what is just a sodding e mail.

Any advice on how to deal with this, I am afraid my sister is sometimes very stuck i her ways and I can imagine her being very awkward, I hope I am not the last male or indeed female to grab someone in anger, of course I regret it but I just feel at the end of my rope.

My sister is 40, a couple of years older than me,what angers me is depression or anxiety could easily happen to her, her daughter in the future, I just know she would be running everywhere looking for advice and support.

If any woman on here is offended by what I have said I apologise, anger frustration and hopelessness has got the better of me I think I am an ok guy, I am just struggling.

[trac67]

Hi Frankie,
The trouble with anxiety and panic attacks are that from the outside we look 'normal' and people think there is nothing wrong with us. For people who have never suffered with it, it can be very hard to understand, many a time someone from my family has said to me you need to pull yourself together, which as we know is not so easy. Have you tried to give your sister some leaflets on it to read up on the condition, it may help her understand it a bit better or sat down with her and talked about how you feel.
I hope you can resolve things with her.
Take care
Trac

its "just a thought"

[FRANKIEISBACK]

We had a good cry together yesterday, its awful losing it with people you love, I think we will be ok now, we had a good talk, she is unable to have any more children because of endimetriosis, she says that really gets her down so I think we learnt a bit about each other.

Horrible situation but prehaps good has come out of it, thanks.

[Piglet]

Aw I'm glad to hear that Frankie.

Best wishes

Piglet:)

[Meg]

Frankie

I often now look at people I pass either walking or in cars and wonder what issues they're each dealing with in their own worlds...

Unless someone comes out and tells you - you will never know so I always give everyone the benefit of many doubts these days.

Glad to hear you had a good talk and learnt more about each other..I hope she can support you a bit better now

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

[trac67]

Hi Frankie,
I am glad that you have managed to resolve things with your sister, and that things have worked out for you.
Take care
Trac xx

its "just a thought"

[FRANKIEISBACK]

My rage and anger really scares me, my sister was really frightened last nite, thank god we didnt hurt each other any more than a few shakes and bad words.

I think what is the bottom line is that unless you have suffered a particular problem or illness, other people have no idea really. I had no idea of how her not being able to have another baby affects her so I have learnt something too, thanks to you all.

[nomorepanic]

Frankie

I haven't told anyone this before but it seemed appropriate to mention it now.

I am very close to my mum and sister even though they both live near each other and about 1.5 hours drive from me. I speak to my mum every day without fail and my sister usually once a week.

Anyway a few years ago I was so wrapped up in my own illness and I thought they understood how I felt.

We had a big argument one night about something I said (I said you don't understand how I feel and they took it as you don't care). This was the first argument I can ever remember having and I found out loads of things about them that they had never told me. Amongst this was the fact that my sister had had a miscarriage and I never even knew. I can't tell you how bad I felt then.

They said that they kept things from me because they thought I didn't need the extra stress and upset.

It all got sorted in the end but I agree that the bottom line is we really don't know what someone else is suffering from and sometimes we do get a bit self-pitying and think that we are the only ones with a problem.

I am so pleased you made up.

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

[FRANKIEISBACK]

Sometimes we have to have a little cry with each other I suppose

Thanks