Acorn
28-05-09, 19:38
I was out with my wife today and we were wanting to go to a shop that was on the other side of the road.
The lights were red as we started to cross, but as we got half way they turned green. At that point i was behind a large white van. With the lights turning green i decided to dart across the remainder of the road.
This in my mind was fine as there was only a single lane of traffic going left and one going right, and at that point both were still stopped
Unknown to me, some stupid driver decided to make a third lane and go between the two lanes of traffic so he could get to the head of the queue.
Being behind the white van i did not see the car coming nor hear it.
Somehow i just manged to stop myself dead as the car sped past. If it had been even one second sooner he would have hit me at about 40 mph.
I just don't know how i stopped, as i said i never saw the car nor heard it, and i was going at some speed across the road but some how i managed to stop. How can you just stop, when you don't know danger is there, i keep asking myself.
I know that i should be thinking that it was a good thing that nothing happened, but all i keep thinking is how fragile my life is.
I have spent the past few weeks thinking that i was going to die from a heart attack when today i could have been killed by a car.
In one way I'm glad nothing happened but on the other hand now all i can think is that if i could have been killed then, then whats to stop something else happening? I now feel like i have to be on 100% alertness just so i can make sure that I'm safe.
I know its my O.C.D making me feel like this. It always takes a bad experience and blows it out of all proportion. It then makes it go over and over again in my head only giving me one way to shut it up, this particular way being to always watch my back.
I know i cant do this all of the time, so the thought just keeps on going around and around.
Darn this problem, darn it to hell!!!!
The lights were red as we started to cross, but as we got half way they turned green. At that point i was behind a large white van. With the lights turning green i decided to dart across the remainder of the road.
This in my mind was fine as there was only a single lane of traffic going left and one going right, and at that point both were still stopped
Unknown to me, some stupid driver decided to make a third lane and go between the two lanes of traffic so he could get to the head of the queue.
Being behind the white van i did not see the car coming nor hear it.
Somehow i just manged to stop myself dead as the car sped past. If it had been even one second sooner he would have hit me at about 40 mph.
I just don't know how i stopped, as i said i never saw the car nor heard it, and i was going at some speed across the road but some how i managed to stop. How can you just stop, when you don't know danger is there, i keep asking myself.
I know that i should be thinking that it was a good thing that nothing happened, but all i keep thinking is how fragile my life is.
I have spent the past few weeks thinking that i was going to die from a heart attack when today i could have been killed by a car.
In one way I'm glad nothing happened but on the other hand now all i can think is that if i could have been killed then, then whats to stop something else happening? I now feel like i have to be on 100% alertness just so i can make sure that I'm safe.
I know its my O.C.D making me feel like this. It always takes a bad experience and blows it out of all proportion. It then makes it go over and over again in my head only giving me one way to shut it up, this particular way being to always watch my back.
I know i cant do this all of the time, so the thought just keeps on going around and around.
Darn this problem, darn it to hell!!!!