I won't be like this forever will I?

[Tori Frances]

Just need some reassurance. My mother in law just said she thinks I have chronic depression/ anxiety. She used to be a psychiatric nurse. This has really freaked me out as I feel like I will have to live like I am doing now for the rest of my life. I have been seriously ill with this for five months now. previously I had had episodes with years in between of being fine but they never lasted a fraction as long as this one has. I've been having CBT for four months and have been on Citalopram for 9 weeks.
Please tell me I will have years of being better in between episodes like I did before? Or does the length of this episode mean this is my life now?

[valleybear]

I used to be a psychiatric nurse also and anxiety/depression can be treated very successfully.You will not feel like this forever. Hang in there and believe that you will feel strong and well again.Thinking of you and wishing you well.

[Daisybun]

Hi Tori
i don't know if this will reassure you but i have had two bad bouts in the past. I am still on citalopram, just 10mg but I am now the person I feel I should be. I have been on citalopram for three years and I am reducing it very slowly - nothing can beat the feeling of feeling normal and that is how i have felt.

[Tori Frances]

Thanks guys. How long did your 'bouts' last? Why is mine lasting so long do you think, (five months so far), when have been getting treatment almost all of this time?

[lifesabeach]

Its odd but I consider myself quite an optomistic person but when this side of me strikes it really does feel like a mysty haze, a fog of darkness is suffocating even my thought processess. But its amazing when this fog lifts i think to myself' what was that all about' and carry on with life.

Anxiety and depression for me really feels like standing on a landing the doors all shut around you and being in the dark waiting for a door to open for soem mental and physical relief.

It could be with you all your life who knows, but maybe like me you will recognise it when it starts and get soem help before the doors begin to shut.

[gtrgrl3369]

Please dont let anyone tell you that this will not get better, it does. The worst part of mine lasted about 7 months and I am doing better now. Having people tell you that makes you feel hopeless and that is not what you need, although I am sure she didnt mean any harm. Keep taking your meds and look for at least one bright spot in your day everyday. You can beat this, it just takes time.:hugs:

[Goblin]

Hi Tori,

No, you won't be like this forever. You are receiving CBT and taking Citalopram, which is a great combo. You'll find with Citalopram that it may be many months before it reaches full effectiveness, so don't give up on it - it really works for me :)

I found it really helped to identify what made me feel better and to incorporate that into my life in bigger doses. I try to take a walk in the park when the weather is OK, and it really makes a difference to me. You'll be able to put your finger on what helps you feel better too, but don't fall into the trap of seeking after material things; it's usually the simple things that help me, like watching wildlife passing through the garden. So far this year I've seen deer, foxes, badgers, rabbits, a weasel, squirrels and more birds than I can name. Find out what works for you, and good luck!

[cheekycharlie]

I started suffering 2 yrs ago my first bout lasted about 8mths then I was ok for about 6mths & I started up again & had a bout for about 3mths. I am ok again now but not ruling out having it again as sure I will, I just know how to cope with it better now. I have never been on any meds, just did it thru therapy & willpower. You will get there, don't worry hun. x

[reallyfedup]

hi. I am the same. Bouts on and off for 15 years but this time its worse and
been off work 6 plus months and can't see me getting my life back. But if you have some good points in your days try to hang into them. Scary right now but we have to believe we will get there x

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Tori please try to concentrate on becoming well again rather than thinking about the times when you might be ill. You will be setting yourself up for failure. You can try to see what might be triggers into a depressive/anxiety phase but it might not always be posssible to prevent an attack as I know from experience. I have been ill many many times but now I am able to live a fulfiling life. I know it has its limitations. I also have various strategies in place which help me. I have some good friends who I can turn to. I have an understanding and accessible psychiatrist and GP. I am also on a drug regime which hopefully keeps me sane but also prevents me from becoming ill. All these things might not be applicable to you but then again they might be. I used to think that after a particularily bad bout that I wouldn't become ill again but I always did. As I have become older the depressive spells do seem to have become less frequent except when I am ill it is usually very bad. I hope this is of some help to you.

[seeker]

No, you won't always be this ill! I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a teenager,and have just reently come out of a six month low that saw me curled up at home incaapable of pretty much anythinkg except crying! It was miserable, but I got better gradually with the help of pills and just keeping going. I also tried to get out for a walk every day (having a dog helped) and ensuring I did not completely cut myself off from friends and family.

Now that I am better, I have sort of identified a seven year cycle (in me at least), where I am miserable for about six months, a bit manic for about two years (doing too much, living life at a hundred miles an hour) and then pretty stable and happy for about four or five years.

I have come to accept this and concentrate on pushing my career and social life forward in the mad two years!

Hope this helps and the reassurance of kowing you are not alone always helps, I think.

Seeker