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leo05
31-08-05, 16:20
hey i have been told to write bout tommorrow as i will be the 2nd yr that my friends baby has not been with us and i'm finding this haed as she was not even 1 when she was killed by her dad and i blame my self as i was suppose to be looking after her but i went of on hols work related but i hate this day and it is hard to say it was not my fault when i really know diff soz for the down me but just feeling like this at mo

thanx and soz

Meg
31-08-05, 16:24
Leanne

I do not see how at all this can be attributed to you at all.

You were on a work day and presumably Mum made alternative arrangements which went horribly and tragically wrong.

If The babys Dad killed it , ultimately he is fully responsible no matter what the previous arrangements had been.

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

leo05
31-08-05, 16:28
yeah but i knew what he was like and i was the one who got them together and so there for it is my fault

darkphantom
31-08-05, 16:28
i agree with meg babe and we talked about this, there is no way you are to blame for this. You were away and there is no way you could of known anything like this was going to happen. please stop taking the blame. it was not your fault

and im gona chat here with you tomorrow, and you know if you sad im only a text and phone call away, day or night what ever the time ok

you will be fine tomorrow ok

xxxxxxxxxx

leo05
31-08-05, 16:31
hey thanks but it just real hard and i try not to put my probs on ppl as they have thier own and i feel as though it is my call in life to help as many ppl as i can

Meg
31-08-05, 16:36
Yo can do both - help people yourself and some people need to be needed so helping you helps them !!

Now- so therefore it was my fault - Rubbish Leanne.
They spent time together and had a baby together and they were jointly responsible for it - not you.

I have got several couples together. I certainly do not feel responsible for any of the descions they make together.




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?

tattybear
31-08-05, 16:37
Leanne,

You say you knew what he was like - but also your friend wouldve know what he was like as well. No one is to blame apart from the bloke who killed the baby - It is in no way your fault.

You have to stop blaming yourself for things which other people do and for the mistakes other people make. I know this is hard for you, but I think it is somting you really need to work on becuase with all the guily and blame you are carrying around on your shoulders, it will make it harder for you to get through this.

Tatty B xx

leo05
31-08-05, 16:43
yeah i know what i need to do but need help with it but it not sort of thing i talk bout much as try to block it all out

no i knew him longer there for i should have told her there for it is my fault and should alway protect my friends

tattybear
31-08-05, 16:44
Leanne, just because you know someone longer does NOT mean that you are to blame. Everyone is responsible for themselves.

Tatty B xx

kate
31-08-05, 16:45
Leanne,

I agree with everyone else. The only person to blame is the bloke that killed the baby.

Kate x

darkphantom
31-08-05, 16:48
Lea

no it is not your fault listern to everyone here ok, even if you knew him befor there was no way you could of known what he was going to do.
please stop blaming yourselve you need to be strong and we will all help you through this promise,
we all here for you
keep posting your thoughts dont bottle them up anymore ok

leo05
31-08-05, 16:51
sometimes my thoughts might worry ppl and dont want to do that to them!

i never have had the chance to talk bout many things and now i can trust you i want to be able to work through these things i this wrong?

nomorepanic
31-08-05, 18:24
Leanne

It wasn't your fault atall but I know that it is hard for you to accept that.

Please try to believe that ok.

You can say whatever you like on here and let it all out if you want to ok?

Nicola

"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"

seh1980
31-08-05, 18:42
It's not at all your fault Leanne!!

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

pinkscrumpy
31-08-05, 20:22
Hi Leanne

I can't really add to what everyone else has said.

No-one will judge you here and you are free to write your feelings - Thats what we are here for.

Will be thinking of you and know that susie will be on the end of the phone for you

Lots of love

MANDIE XX

Will I ever escape this?
Will I ever be free?
Wake me up from this nightmare.
Please just give me the key!

Piglet
31-08-05, 22:45
Leo hun,

Let go of this heavy burden - it's not yours to carry.

Big hug

Piglet xx

Sax
01-09-05, 02:04
Hi Lea,

I think you have had some great advice and replies and I do not really feel in a position to add to them except to say, thinking of you tomorrow and here for you if you need us - come in to chat or else post away all your thoughts - no one is here to judge you, just to listen ok?!

Take care Leanne and speak with you here tomorrow no doubt - you'll be ok cos you if you need to talk about it there are so many ppl here to listen and discuss it with you - guillt can be an overwhelming feeling but as others have said its really unnecessary to feel such guilt when you are not responsible for others actions!!!

take care


Sax xxxx[8D]

alexis
01-09-05, 09:20
Hi Leanne, just to say thinking of you along with all the others, love Alexis,xx

leo05
01-09-05, 16:20
hey thanks all but the way i am feeling now nobody will understand me and as things have not gone the way suppose to with friends why should i turst anyone again?

kate
01-09-05, 16:32
Leanne,

Why not take the plunge and talk to us? You can never know if anyone will understand until you take first step.

Kate x

leo05
01-09-05, 16:43
cause ppl never understand me then it hurts even more cause i know i am not normal soz

Sax
01-09-05, 16:49
We are here and listening Lea if you want to talk to us - take care ok and I really wish you'd tell us your thoughts, it might just help unburden you a bit although I do appreciate you are feeling very down right now!

thinking of you ok, take care

Sax xxxx

leo05
01-09-05, 16:51
thanks sax but susie needs you and i will survie my self cause it hard to tell ppl my thoughts cause then they not want to know me anymore

seh1980
01-09-05, 16:54
Just to say that I'm thonking of you today Leanne.

Why don't you try to share yout story with someone on here? It doesn't have to be with everyone but maybe once person that you really trust. That might be easier than telling everyonen and it would help you to talk about it.

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

Sax
01-09-05, 16:56
Lea,

We are not here to judge anyone, we are here to support each other through the good and the bad times.

It really might help you to talk about things - no one is going to judge you however I appreciate if you find this all too difficult but in your own time you may like to open up a bit to us - we really are here to listen and support you if you need us.

I'm so sorry you sound so low Lea but things will improve with time - sometimes our thoughts overtake us and all can seem desperate but there really will be better times soon!

Take care

Sax xxx[8D]

leo05
01-09-05, 16:57
yeah i try but i find it hard telling ppl how i feel esp if they have probs to cause then i become a burden as i am bad already so dont want to be pain too

Sax
01-09-05, 17:00
People who listen, read and respond Lea are people who want to OK, we are not here under duress and we are not taking on your burden, we are willing to listen and support you if you feel able to talk to us about how you are feeling!!
People only support others as they feel able ok so don't feel guilty for using the forum for exactly what its meant for - support for all!!!!!

We are here Lea

Sax xx

leo05
01-09-05, 17:13
hi sax and all

i just really confussed at mo and with it been the day of my friends babys death and i blame my self yeah and with the voices saying things to me to i just want to curl up in a ball and die and susie was great help this morning just dont know anymore

alexis
01-09-05, 17:41
Hi Leanne I think if we post about our feelings /problems or pm people or msn whichever is the easiest way then we do feel better, Its like the old saying a probem shared is a problem halved, i know you have texted me and i am really sorry the timing was wrong as I explained I had just returned from hospital myself , but stay strong leanne, keep going and listen to all the wonderful people on here, you will be OK leanne, Love Alexis,xxx

leo05
01-09-05, 17:46
thanks alexis i know and i am trying honest i hope you are ok and am here for you if you need to chat bout anything no matter how big or small

Karen
02-09-05, 01:29
Hi Leanne

Hope you are ok and got through today alright with all the great support you've received here.

I agree with what others say that this was not your fault or responsibility and you have nothing to feel bad about. No one here is judging you either.

You give a lot of support to others here and we're here for you if you want to talk about it.

Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself at this difficult time.

Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

leo05
06-09-05, 18:36
hi just seems since the other bad day every day is hard to cope with now and dont know what to do anymore