so worried and anxious

[karine]

hi im so worried, anxious and depressed, im on anti depressants but they dont help much, my son has been in afghanistan since april 15th and his friend got killed yesterday and theres been 13 deaths since he went, im so worried about him...
and i have a bad chest at the moment , ive been bringing up loads of phlegm, but 4 days ago i brought up loads with blood in it, that was the only time i have had any blood, i cant stop worrying about it and im even scared to go to the doctors as my dad died of lung cancer aged 52....i am a smoker and i do get a chest infection at least once or twice a year and i have had pluricy before....im going insane with worry about both issues.....please help!!! im a 37 yr old female

[IJJ]

I know exactly how you feel as my husband is the army and has been away more times than I can count! I am lucky (for want of a better word!!) as when he is on tour I am so worried about him that I haven't got even time to worry about all my many health anxieties! It is so hard when they are out there as you feel so powerless and unable to help them, and not knowing what they are doing when is horrible - my hubby always tells me that the things I imagine happening are 100 times worse that what is actually happening. You have to remember that your son is highly trained, has a whole army behind him and works for the best trained and prepared army in the world. I try to distract myself by writing him an ebluey every day just filled with news of the family and what has been going on at home and also concentrating on trying to find all sorts of things to put in boxes to send out to him. Keep as busy as you can and it will make the time goes faster. My hubby came back 4 weeks ago from a 6 months tour and looking back, the busier I was the better I felt.

With regards to your chest, you are likely very run down due to your son being away and if you are anything like me you will not be eating or sleeping properly. I would get yourself down to the docs and get your mind put at rest. While you are there perhaps you could ask to be referred for some counselling as well? I have always found that just being on tablets alone does not help much, I always need some sort of counselling/therapy alongside it. CBT is particuarly good.

Thinking of you and your son and wishing you both all the best for the duration of his tour