Desperate for some advice

[KC]

I have been experiencing panic attacks and terrible fear for some months now. My main source of anxiety is abandonment (I am married). Every day i spend counting the hours until he finishes work and if I cannot reach him by phone, I immediately go into a panic attack with the usual symptoms of rushing to loo, feeling sick, shaky etc. I am trying to work full time so this is not always easy to cope with at work.

Each day I think about how terrible it would be if I were alone, even though this is ridiculous as loads of people cope well and even enjoy their own company.

Do you think I have developed an OCD about needing to be with him all the time?? I have seen GP and on Citalopram and things were easing a little, until TODAY. Out of the blue, I feel back to square one!!!!:mad:

Any tips on how to stop feeling so reliant on other people and to stop feeling scared of being alone would be great.

KC

[sb001f8994]

Hi KC
Im not going to be very much help here Im afraid but would like to send you hugs :hugs:. Im one of those people you mentioned, I quite like being on my own when my hubby and son have gone to work and my daughter is out at school...peace! On the odd ocassion I do feel left and lonely I keep busy and as I work from home there is always something to do...the day just flies by.
Take care
Carol x

[KC]

Dear Carol - thanks for the well needed hug! I want to be content with own company like you appear to be. I guess I need to concentrate on becoming more social and not reliant on just one peson in my life. I know my fears are very silly and but thanks again for listening

Kerry

[Bluebelle]

Hi Kerry
I know what you're saying. I am like you and I felt panic striken without my sister. I think it is similar to how a baby cries for their mother. It feels like seperation anxiety to me but I am not sure if there is an actual term for it- I do know that it is crippling. It seems like I developed a safe feeling being around my sister. She was my safe person to get me through errands shopping driving etc. It is hard now as I have lost her company.

You can be happy by yourself as I am slowly coming to realize. It is hard and I can appreciate your situation. You're not alone entirely you have NMP and friends here. I am sending you hugs.
Take Care
Love Bluebelle

[KC]

Thanks Bluebell for the support - Im sorry you find it difficult without your sister and hope you can find some ways to help as well. I think you are right about separation anxiety as I have read this also - I will investigate this further!!

Kerry
X

[mdLc]

Hi..

When dealing and going through my panic attacks I hate to be alone..If my husband is at work I would often find myself pacing the house with the phone in my hand.
I call my husbands cell phone knowing that he would be unable to answer because hes at work and leave countless messages on his voicemail.

Sometimes I find I get very angry at him for not always being able to answer the phone.

He works nights, and When having a full blown attack, I would often stay up all night waiting for him to come home.

I recently returned back to work this week and literally count the 6 hours down until im able to see him again...just knowing that hes there makes me feel alot better even if I have nothing to say....


I fully understand needing a rock I just wish that I was able to cope a bit better being alone..:blush:

[KC]

Dear MDLC - just reading your post sounds so similar to how I feel and I can really understand how you struggle too. Do you feel so silly and not being able to cope alone and be so reliant on your husband?? I talk myself into not getting worried, and constantly tell myself he will be home, etc.etc. but if I cannot reach him the instant I want to, I immediately go into a panic attack. All my level headed thinking goes completely out the window. Its so frustrating and I cant believe the physical symptoms can be triggered so quickly by worry/panic.

Anyway, I hope you continue to find ways of managing - please keep in touch as I would love to hear how to get on etc.etc. Feel free to PM me anytime as well.

KC

[belle]

10 years ago i was exactly like that. My ex worked 2 minutes away by car, i would panic for those 2 minutes it took for him to get to work, because back then, we didn't have a mobile....so while he was driving he was uncontactable.

I would panic for the whole day until he got home - i was in a terrible state.

Sadly now, my husband of 7 years just told me that he no longer wants to be with me. I have NO ONE ELSE. I am now having to deal with being totally alone. Even if i had wanted to call, he does a job where i am unable to get hold of him. But it doesn't matter now, because he's left me!!!!

[mdLc]

KC..you do the same and keep in touch too ok?:hugs:

Belle..I am so sorry to hear about your current situation...I could imagine how hard it must be for you right now...please try and stay strong..(I know thats easier said than done) If you ever feel like calling the states you can always call me and vent or pm...:hugs:

[KC]

Dear Belle - thank you for your reply - I am beginning to realise my fears are experienced by others as well. I am so sorry you have been left alone - please send me a PM anytime you wish - be great to hear from you

Kerry

[KC]

Dear Paul - its not just a girl thing then!!! Seriously, just knowing I'm not going mad and others do also feel like me is helping loads. Also, I do keep extra busy each day at work if I feel panicky and this does distract as well. It odd, before the last few months, like you I would never dream of showing my panic/worries etc. in front of anyone. However, recently I have been unable to hide it so several people are aware - again this probably on reflection is a good thing for me, having to open up and not trying to appear everything is 'perfect'. Anyway, hope you keep well and I will take on board your tips next time the dreaded attack happens.

Love Kerry