New & living in France!

[hels]

Hi Everyone
My name's Helen & I've been living in France for the last 6 and a bit years. I discovered this website about 12 months ago when I'd been having panic attacks for some while but didn't put anything on as 'I thought I could cope!' I did, however find the site very useful & printed off some of the stuff which I carried around with me in my handbag! I did kind of cope (after seeing several French doctors who didn't understand at all) &, eventually, I learned to cope ('ish) with my symptoms. For some reason now they've come back with a vengeance & I need somebody to tell me that everything is/will be ok?

I suppose, in a nutshell, I get most of the symptoms described & when I get them I'm terrified (as we all are), but recently I've started having what people describe as 'hot flushes' except mine last for anything from 15 mins to 1 hour & my heart races like mad. The wierd thing is JUST before I get one I have the most foul taste in my mouth you can imagine & I know what's going to happen. So if I can I go to bed, but then my face becomes bright bright red & taught & it's like I can feel a pulse in my head. I also get some part of the body which kind of 'buzzes' - it can be the legs, arms but last night it felt like my teeth were going to fall out! Is this an adrenalin rush? I can cope with the hot, burning sensation & the tingling but the heart going that fast really scares me. This always always happens when I'm very overtired. My hubby & I had a bar for nearly 5 years & didn't sleep much & now we're working in the evenings too & when I do go to bed I'm not sleeping too well & I know all these factors can contribute to stress/panic. We also just had our first lot of 'visitors' out this year - the first of many & I do get very worked up about this. I'm also not too good at going to bed, because after nearly 7 years of strange hours it becomes a bit of a habit.
Gosh it feels good just to write all this stuff down actually. I'm also going away this weekend with Dave, my hub & 2 friends from the UK - just over to the coast here in France which should be such an enjoyable experience, but am already apprehensive. Dave & I went last Sept for a week & I absolutely spoilt the whole time by having panic attacks. My poor dog Poppy didn't know what the hell was going on - on the beach tot hrow the ball then 'oh no!' we have to go, I have to go, I have to get out. I really really don't want that to happen again this time. My friends do know & understand the problem but I feel it still controls everything I do.
Sorry for going on, just need to get it off my chest I suppose & know that other people are out there feeling the same way. Will this thing ever go away or will it be around to haunt me forever?
Thanx to anyone who replies to this garbled message!
LOL
H
xx
PS. My hubs finding it more & more difficult to cope with aswell & wonders how other partners deal with 'things'

[xBettyBoopx]

Welcome to NMP hels.

The fast heart beat is a terrible symptom to have to deal with, like you say there are certain symptoms that we can just shrug off & others that really send us into a panic.

When you were coping with the panic before what did you think? How did you think? Are you thinking differently now. Just because the symptoms seem worse, doesn;t mean there is a different way of coping. You cope by doing the exact same thing as you did before, only this time with extra courage. How does that sound? Remember you are the same as before, nothing has changed physically within you, so you CAN do this again.

Sometimes, just writing things down or typing as we are doing now, brings some relief, because we are among people here who know what we're talking about, know what you're going through, I certainly do.

I think you've done so well in the past, you can do it again. It's good that you have friends that understand, most people don't have that.

All the feelings you're having definately sound like anxiety/panic.

This site certainly is very helpful to all of us. Don't worry about your dog Poppy I'm sure she doesn't think anything of your panic attacks & is just glad to have an owner that cares:)

I'm sure you'll be fine at the weekend & have a lovely time.

Els

[hels]

Thankyou so much for replying!
How scary was that putting the first message on?!
Last time it took me about 9 months to get over it - various problems I think contributed to it starting & it just took over my life like 'boom' - from nowhere. I suppose now i know, & with the help of this site that what I'm experiencing is normal nut you know what it's like when it comes back. The other day I was fine & then here it is again! I said to Dave, you know I'd give anything to have my excema back rather than this. It's the nights that I can't cope with Els - I just lie there thinking something's going to happen. And then when I wake up in the morning it's like a wave of panic that comes over me - I HATE IT! BUT, I have printed off more pages that I'm taking away with me this w/e & I've already started saying 'you are not going to beat me' - the thing is it's ok saying it but do you have to believe it? It's ok when you're feeling ok but like today when I've had pins & needles all day, headache, tiredness, arms & legs like lead I don't feel like believing it - it's so hard sometimes. Tomorrow evening I have to go to work & I'm dreading it 'cos last time I had a major panic attack but I've only got 3 days to go I suppose before we go away.
Thanx soooooo much for replying
H
xx

[xBettyBoopx]

Hels, if I had a penny for everytime I had a panic attack, I'd be a gazillionaire!!!:ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: They always go don't they, but when they are here, uugggggggggghhh!!!!!!! I don't know about you but I can't remember what I'm supposed to do or say to myself, or what I'm not to do:blush: :blush: :blush: When it's all gone, I think Thank God for that until the next time!!

The thing I find a little helpful is something that Dr Weekes talks about in one of her books & that is that the body is working perfectly normal under the circumstances. How else do we expect our body to behavour when we are frightened? That's what I say to myself, whether it does any good or not I dont' know, but if we say things to ourselves long enough, surely our minds must eventually believe it.

All your symptoms sound so much like anxiety, I get the arms & legs like lead, it's so much tension.

I hate going to bed, if you don't go to sleep straight away, that's when all the anxiety & worry starts, I suppose it's because it's dark & late etc. I don't go to bed until I can't keep my eyes open anymore, but I understand that you are married, I'm single so that's ok for me.

Els