Fear of hospitals..

[Terry12345]

Hi...
I feel so foolish. I'm 51 and have a fear of going to hospital. I pulled a muscle in my chest the other day exercising and I think even if I was at deaths door so to speak..I couldn't get through the door of a hospital. It just makes me more anxious all the time thinking about it. I did a number of years ago make a private appt. for professional councelling and went a few times, in the mean time my father died and I stopped, because basically she told me one day you will have to face up to your phobia.
I also get panic attacks as well and take diazapam at times to calm myself. Anyone else like me? I feel so alone. My husband or two children cannot understand me at all.
Regards.
Terry (f)

[doodah]

Hello Terry,

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing too well. There's no need to feel foolish about ANY phobias as far as I'm concerned - it's very hard trying to explain to those close to use why we are afraid when we don't really know ourselves isn't it!

Do you feel okay in a doctor's surgery or do you get panicky there? If you can cope with that, I wonder if you could see your own doctor to explain your fears as best you can and then maybe they can put you in touch with a counsellor who doesn't operate from a hospital? Some surgeries in the UK have counsellors on their own premises, I'm not sure what it's like in your part of the world? Failing that, you could always write to your doctor explaining - I've done that before and found it a lot easier than seeing someone face to face!!

Take care,

Wendy xxxx

[sunndyd]

hi, its very hard when ur family dont understand it cant make u feel worse. on the right of the thread under problems and issues. in either panic attacks or anxiety it has towards then end a bit for family a friends on how to deal with people like us to be supportive etc mayb u should read it ans suggest ur partner takes a look.
You said u made it the door, may next time u could try going just past the dr and keep going step forward each time as far as u feel capable once u make it in there tell them ur situation, they may be able make u feel more relaxed about the whole to the point ur able to cope:winks:

[Terry12345]

Thank you both for replying, sundyd and doodah. My phobia stems back to the time when I was a young child in the UK. My mother in those days did what a lot of parents do and that is not tell them what's going to happen (as is what happened in my case a visit to the dentist). I went to the then school clinic and had teeth removed. It was the traumatic way they (the students/dentists treated me) ie.forcibly opening my mouth and in those days, using a big black gas mask that led to me been so frightened of ever going into hospital (fear of the mask), operations etc.
When I came to live in Ireland, and was thinking about having children, I thought I would go to my local GP and finally get some private help to face up to my phobia. He thought it was hilarious but got me an appt. Like I said before I did go a few times but then it stopped due to my father's death.
Now at times if I'm ever sick...(just like now with my muscle strain) the thought of hospital and the idea of any operation makes me terrified. I am already taking diazepam 4mg just for anxiety at the moment. My husband doesn't understand/and my children are both teenagers one at uni and one taking her final exams to get to uni. I don't have a great relationship with my husband in the first place, to me he's very uncaring/cold when it comes to anything to do with your nerves. At this moment in time I don't want to go near the doctors at all. Thanks for replying.

[doodah]

Oh Terry!:hugs:

I'm not surprised you're scared of dentists/hospitals!! I'm nearly 55 and vividly remember a similar experience with the dentist - just reading your post brought it all back - that awful smell of the gas mask - yuk!! Needless to say I developed a right old phobia about the dentist which remains to this day.

I think it's awful that your doctor found your problems amusing - grrrr! I wonder, is there another doctor in your practice you could talk to? I would imagine that you could do with some extra support anyway following the loss of your dad. I don't know if you have many friends over in Ireland but it might be worth asking them what their doctor's are like - whether they're sympathetic etc.

I really hope you can get something sorted out cos you sound all on your own with your fears - and that's a rotten place to be!!

Wendy xxxx

[Terry12345]

Oh Terry!:hugs:

I'm not surprised you're scared of dentists/hospitals!! I'm nearly 55 and vividly remember a similar experience with the dentist - just reading your post brought it all back - that awful smell of the gas mask - yuk!! Needless to say I developed a right old phobia about the dentist which remains to this day.

I think it's awful that your doctor found your problems amusing - grrrr! I wonder, is there another doctor in your practice you could talk to? I would imagine that you could do with some extra support anyway following the loss of your dad. I don't know if you have many friends over in Ireland but it might be worth asking them what their doctor's are like - whether they're sympathetic etc.

I really hope you can get something sorted out cos you sound all on your own with your fears - and that's a rotten place to be!!

Wendy xxxx


Thanks again..:hugs:
No, unfortunately it's Ireland and I live in a small place here.That dr. is about the best. (around here anyway) I should have really made myself clearer. My dad died over 16years ago and that was when my second child was 8 months old. He did (the dr.)at the time, when I went private make an appt. with a psychologist for me. Then during the time I was visiting her my dad died. I just left it then, thinking oh well it will go away, you know the usual stuff. I always remember what her last words(the psychologist ) to me were and that was the only person that will help yourself in the end is yourself. I didn't want to hear that even though to this day I know it's true. It's when you don't feel well the fear comes back to haunt you. I hope I can eventually do something but just not how I feel at the moment..I can't even think about going to the dr.
Regards
Teresa

[andie73]

Hi

I have the same phobia Terry. I was interested to see that you had children. Did you have them in hospital? Just I am 26 weeks pregnant and scared of going into hospital to give birth so have been considering a home birth.

I am having counselling for my phobia which I go to the hospital for. It started at a local community centre and has progressed to the stage where I got into the foyer of delivery suite. So it is working, but the fear is still there. I just seem a bit better at tolerating it.

Its so hard, I know but if you can try to break yourself in gradually by going into the hospital grounds then a bit nearer and nearer, maybe have a coffee in the restaurant or something it may help. It's important to try to stay in that situation till the anx starts to come down naturally, cos it will, but I know it's really hard to do it. You should preferably try to do this de-sensitisation which the support of a trained professional. You should ask your GP for a referal perhaps.

Good luck and take care.

[Alabasterlyn]

Hi Terry, I don't think your fear is foolish either. I am 54 and terrified of hospitals and anything medical to be honest. This time last year I developed appendicitis and eventually was in so much pain I had no choice but to go to A&E. Although I was okay when I was there, to a point, when it came to being admitted I freaked out and discharged myself and went private. Going private made me feel much more able to cope as private hospitals are more like hotels than hospitals, so although I was anxious I managed to get through it.

I think andie's suggestion of getting some help to de-sensitise you is a good one as that really is what helps us. :hugs:

[Terry12345]

Hi Lynn and Andie,
I did actually have both my children in hospital [hard to believe I know] but both were born in a private hospital, [my son is now 20 and daughter,17]. I explained my phobia from the beginning to my consultant, who really was very kind. He took a completely different approach to my own family dr. at the time and said it would be noted on all my records that any oxygen given, if needed, would be hand administered by myself. It's quite funny looking back because when I got into the hospital and knew there was no going back, I accepted it. I had an epidural and my fear is that of having a mask over my mouth, not of looking at someone with one and the anaesthetist was really kind, I kept wondering why he was standing behind me but it was because he thought I was phobic about seeing him with a mask on.

Andie my thoughts are with you, please don't be scared of going into hospital to give birth. It's the fact that it was the safest place for my baby at the time, I did go there. Seriously, by the time you arrive there and you are about to give birth and see everyone preparing for your new arrival. You will truly forget your fear.
Think what I did at the time...in a few hours it will all be over and you will have a beautiful baby beside you. :) Don't ask mothers about having babies either, everyone has a different experience giving birth.

Maybe, I will try but not yet about your ideas about going back for some councelling.. thanks xxx

Teresa
I wish you both well and wish you the very best.