RatBrain
10-06-09, 15:11
I stopped taking my 20mg dose of Citalopram recently because a.) I wasn’t convinced it was having any effect and b.) I felt it might be responsible for me having gained weight. I started taking Citalopram when there was a lot of stress in my life but at the point where the positive effects normally kick in, I also found that most of these stressors had gone. As such, I never knew if I was feeling better because of the tablets or because my life became much more stable.
Instead of weaning myself off by taking a tablet every other day as my GP advised, I wanted to accelerate the process so I took a table every 2-3 days for a month. Its been about 10 days since my last one and I’ve pretty much had a constant headache and I feel really hot all the time. I’m incredibly irritable and snappy and I’m remembering what it’s like to cry over minor problems. My poor boyfriend is constantly getting his head bitten off.
My car is off the road while I wait for a part which should have arrived today but hasn’t. This is a bit of an inconvenience but you’d think it was the end of the world the way I’m behaving. My job allows me to work from home a lot but I’m barely doing anything at the moment which is making me feel worse because I’m consumed with guilt. When I do try to work though it makes my headache worse and I keep getting really sleepy. I’m 24 years old and I regularly have an afternoon nap these days which also makes me feel a bit pathetic. It would be better if I could go into the office but … argh! I have a 40 mile commute which is awkward and expensive without a car. Once upon a time I would have a phobic like reaction at the thought of driving, now I get anxious and stressed because I’m not able to drive.
I don’t feel as though my coping ability was ever really ‘tested’ when I was on Citalopram because nothing particularly anxiety provoking happened. Or maybe it did but I didn’t interpret it as such because the meds were keeping me sane???
I just want to feel normal again but I’m not even sure what normal is for me. Feeling physically ok would be a start I guess. I’m not looking for answers – I just wanted to have a bit of a rant. I’m in control of my feelings / thoughts and I should be trying to pull myself together but it’s so damn hard.
Instead of weaning myself off by taking a tablet every other day as my GP advised, I wanted to accelerate the process so I took a table every 2-3 days for a month. Its been about 10 days since my last one and I’ve pretty much had a constant headache and I feel really hot all the time. I’m incredibly irritable and snappy and I’m remembering what it’s like to cry over minor problems. My poor boyfriend is constantly getting his head bitten off.
My car is off the road while I wait for a part which should have arrived today but hasn’t. This is a bit of an inconvenience but you’d think it was the end of the world the way I’m behaving. My job allows me to work from home a lot but I’m barely doing anything at the moment which is making me feel worse because I’m consumed with guilt. When I do try to work though it makes my headache worse and I keep getting really sleepy. I’m 24 years old and I regularly have an afternoon nap these days which also makes me feel a bit pathetic. It would be better if I could go into the office but … argh! I have a 40 mile commute which is awkward and expensive without a car. Once upon a time I would have a phobic like reaction at the thought of driving, now I get anxious and stressed because I’m not able to drive.
I don’t feel as though my coping ability was ever really ‘tested’ when I was on Citalopram because nothing particularly anxiety provoking happened. Or maybe it did but I didn’t interpret it as such because the meds were keeping me sane???
I just want to feel normal again but I’m not even sure what normal is for me. Feeling physically ok would be a start I guess. I’m not looking for answers – I just wanted to have a bit of a rant. I’m in control of my feelings / thoughts and I should be trying to pull myself together but it’s so damn hard.