Guilty about partner

[Tori Frances]

I feel so guilty that my illness is making my partner so unhappy. He used to be so carefree before I got ill and now he just seems sad all the time and says its because he finds it so difficult with me being ill. We have only been married a year. Any one else feel this? I am so sad because I wanted to be the one who makes him happy not unhappy. Sometimes i think its harder being like this in a couple than when I was single as then I only had self to worry about. I can't help but think he's be better off without me although I am trying not too - and also trying not to say this to him as will just make him feel worse.

[mumoboys]

Hi hun,
I know how you feel, my hubby wants the old bubbly me back and gets angry when i obsess over ectopic heartbeats and my general health. I want to be me again as well. it puts more pressure and anxiety on you because it feels like he will look somewhere else for a chirpy happy person. I do try to take my mind off my symptoms and try and remember what i was like before, mayb just grab him and give him a hug just s he knows you are still thinking of him! I did read a quote on someones profile ealier which summed it up for me "bear with me i will be back for good soon"
I hope this helps X

[nanny]

I also feel like this too, I really feel for my hubby. He's my rock but i often think he gets really fed up with it. he never says anything but i just have that feeling. I try to be as positive as i can be but it's hard.

We have been together for 35 years now and i have been like this for the last 12, if he was going to leave he would have left by now, but i still worry.
I'm sure your hubby loves you, even if he may feel fed up now and again, so please try not to over worry.:hugs:

[NoPoet]

Hi, if you were to speak to a counsellor about guilt, the first thing they will tell you is that guilt is the most useless of all emotions. All it does is make you feel low and unworthy. There is nothing redeeming about guilt.

I have been through this about my brother who I used to treat fairly badly. Instead of feeling bad about the way I *used* to be, what I should be doing is making sure that I am the best person I can be *now* and into the future. You cannot erase past mistakes, but you most certainly can stop yourself from making the same ones again.

Do yourself a favour. Start to let your guilt go. It's a weight around your neck you do not need. Just concentrate on getting better. Your relationships with others will start to improve over time. You've got the rest of your life to do the right thing :D

[DrumBabe]

hello,
My parnter has panic attacks, and sometime i do find it hard to deal with him not being how used to be, but im slowly learning to understand that he is ill and hes is doing really well to sort things for himself and for me, i often get upset to think he think in the same kind off ways you are thinking, and maybe i would be better off with out him, when really i love him and accept that this is more difficult for him than it is for me, so i try to tell him as often as i can i no i don't fully understand but im trying, and i want to be with him no matter what and i will always help him as much as i can, but sometimes its not easy for everyone to understand and sometimes your partner may choose to ignore the situation rather than deal with it and this is because they could never understand like you and other suffers. x