nora
12-06-09, 21:04
hi all im not new to forums but new to talking about myself lol i am a man 36 and have been suffering from anxiety from being a small child the curtains moved in my bedroom and i would not sleep in my room after that my dad was a sailor and took me onto a sub and i panicked i can remember many other things from being a child so i think i have always been that way but after i read your very good article maybe you just arnt born that way its you responses to those situations brownie points for me i have done my homework lol i have had many jobs and only seem to last a few months then the anxiety comes back and i back to square one again i do try to carry on as normal but another day of diarrhoea and stomach cramps and chest pains can drag me down and then i start to get depressed and the vicious cycle starts again i am on medication 80 mg propranolol and 20mg of citalopram i have tried upping the medication when my anxiety gets worse but don't like feeling like a thunderbird i have also put a lot of weight on i don't think i can blame just the meds lol but they don't help i try to exercise daily but just getting through a day of work without my head feeling like its going to explode can be enough and when i get home i just weld my bum to the sofa the wife is very understanding but gets fed up with me moving jobs and obviously would like some financial stability when i get depressed then i seem to stop making the effort and the anxiety gets worse i find it hard to manage it on a day to day basis and to be fair im not a very motivated person but my wife cant understand why i cant motivated myself i have tried all sorts of therapy and paid for a private cbt therapist which did help but i found that she was just telling me what i wanted to hear we regressed into my childhood and she suggested my mum and dad divorcing and my dad being strict on me as problems that old chestnut but every therapists seems to think this i do think it might have contributed to it but don't think its the sole reason and i have seen other therapists that went through cbt with me which seems to work for a period the my anxiety fades to the background and life is manageable again then something tigers it and my mind goes back to old i do sleep ok and tend to lie in bed for days hiding rather the face the world i have read other people story's on here and felt a lot better i didn't think so many people felt the same way and have read your article and felt much better that anxiety doesn't actually make you go mad as sometimes i feel like im going mad i think brain just go away and give me a break instead of all these thoughts pulsing around my head i feel my anxiety has stopped me doing the things i wanted to and would like to beat it manage it for good for me and my family anyway that's enough about me just looking to chat to others in the same boat and hopefully i will be able to manage it so i can enjoy life aron nora backwards lol