View Full Version : panic, agoraphobia and phobias
Hi
i'm new and could do with some advice basically i am agoraphobic have panics, i have had anxiety related problems for most of my life, and feel things have got to rock bottom, i have two young daughters that i would love to take out to nice places but just cant seem to get past the array of physical symptoms when i attempt to, my husband has an illness also, i am meant to be his carer but it seems as if he is doing all the caring.
I am affraid to be alone also but only when im with my children as i fear they will see me panic and something will happen to me and i wont be there for them. Have had councellors on and off for many years but am now awaiting cat therapy. My eldest daughter starts school on Tuesday and i really want to go with my husband to take her but i am affraid, any advice would be apprieciated.
Thanks TammyT
TammyT
Hi Tammy
You mean CBT therapy ?
Good , thats a good place to start .
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)
Maxine's cbt progress. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2308)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Hey Tammy,
My problems are identical to you. I have had trouble with the school run for a while now, and have just returned from collecting my kids... myself!
I find that if i have support of others and a little bit of encouragement then i can just about make it. As awful as it is, i keep reminding myself that is 10mins and then over.
Perhaps just start by walking a little bit each day with your husband, and then push yourself a bit further along each week.
You can do it, and the only way to believe it is to try and push yourself a little at a time.
Take care,
tracy x x
GOING BACKWARDS? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3578)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
hi Tammy,
I understand how you feel. I don't have kids but I have often felt like I've let people down in the past due to my agoraphobic tendencies. The trick is to work on it a little bit at a time and slowly build up. If you are patient, improvements will happen..
Sarah :D
"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal
Hi Tammy,
I know how you feel I have done lots of school runs and when i got home broke down crying (feel its frustration).
My son has started BIG SCHOOL and I am doing two schools now, I couldnt sleep last night cos of it but I did it today and yes i did slightly panic too . I was nearly home when it happened which was strange. But I will fight this every day no matter how bad it gets.
I have been agrophobic and Id say I am half agrophobic now, I go up and down and dont beat myself up about my bad days because I feel I am allowed bad days.My husband used to be around me alot and i felt it really didnt help because he took all the stress away from me and did all the shopping and school runs.Do you have hypnotherapy cds to listen too ? I find they help me if I listen to them before i go out.
Hope things get better for you
mirryx
nomorepanic
05-09-05, 18:14
Tammy
If you read this can you check your email address as I am getting returned emails saying an invalid address.
Cheers
Nicola
"Nearly all happiness comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open"
Hi Tammy
I can appreciate how hard this is for you and you are at the right place for support and a lot of understanding.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
Thankyou everyone so much, im so sorry its taken so long for me to reply, im very nervous of writing how i feel, i read the posts alot but dont have an awfull lot of courage to write myself, im trying to change this as this site is so comforting even just reading about other peoples probs are helping me to understand that im not alone and we all seem to share similar experiences. thankyou to everyone that replied to my post everything made so much sense, unfortunately since i wrote the post i have got worse ive stopped going just about everywhere at the moment and am terribly reliant on my husband, im affraid of being alone as well, i know gradual exposure is the only cure and i will start to try again im just having such awfull physical symptoms they kind of scare me away from doing anything i feel like im going mad i also dont have any visitors as i have social phobia as well i feel like im in a shell but want to come out, sorry to go on so much i really do appriciate all your replies. Nicola im sorry my email has changed, ill go and check if ive put the right one in now thanks for letting me know im hopeless with these things, again many thanks
Tammy
TammyT
Sooo many identify with you hun - me included!!!!!
The best advice is start with small things to build your confidence and don't add guilt to the equation as its not necessary.
You sound a lovely mum so I would focus on the positive things that you bring to your relationship with the kids, which will outway a hundred times over the niggly bits that you're not happy about.
Love Piglet
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
I too have been there and can relate to a lot of what you say. As other people will let you its small steps and do that until you are comfortable. i am very very slowly getting there but ive a lot way to go. keep your pecker up
take care
bobsy
Hey Tammy,
Like everyone else has said, its all about taking small steps daily, and it doesnt matter HOW small the steps are ( even if only standing in the front garden or something),but its the doing it that will help.
I am sending some positive vibes your way, as i totally relate to what you are saying.
Take care, and JFDI!
tracy x x
Every time you avoid your fears they become stronger,every time you face your fears they become weaker.
Tammy
www.nopanic.org does a telephone recovery service
Go to your Gp and discuss CBT for you.
Common Symptoms of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=symptoms)
First Steps: First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)
Health Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=healthanxiety)
Links post: Links to posts about Common Problems (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7784)
Maxine's cbt progress. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2308)
CBT (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5287)
Starting CBT (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5323)
Does CBT work? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6671)
FW: I am getting there! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7478)
CBT therapy for driving problems - my diary (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7162)
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
Reading for sufferers of Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Phobias and OCD. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/NMPcms.php?nmppage=reading)
tammy the cbt is a great move as is you joining this great site.
have you ever read claire weekes books on anxiety, nervouos disorders and agraphobia
you can get both her great books from the site above
hope you get some help from us
jackie
hi everyone, thankyou for all your replies, im sorry i have not replied sooner, ive had a prob with msn not letting me into my emails but am now with yahoo which seems to have solved the prob so my email address will be different now but ive changed it in my profile.
I hope you are all ok, thankyou for all your support, im going to try and go out each day a little at a time as you guys suggested and if i need to go back i will but then try again the next day, i think that is the only way i know i have to as i can hoestly say if i dont i think its gonna get worse, i dread each time my husband goes out now and the whole time im scarred to death and in physical pain with muscle fatigue and the strained breathing i feel like lying down and not moving i dread when people may come around as then i cant escape i feel my life is being lived on one giant eggshell that im affraid will crack if my construced security (ie my not going out and people not coming in) is taken away.
Im affraid of heart probs as well which i know many of you also worry about and seems to be a common complaint in anxiety, but im actually affraid to get out of breath at all even though i know thats probably the healthiest thing to do.
Jacky, i have one book by Claire Weekes, Self help for your nerves, which i agree is really good will have to talk more about it and perhaps share some ideas, thanks .
Meg, i see a councellor at my doctors surgery and have done for a while as the waiting list for cbt is very long, but im finding it hard to get to my docs surgery now and havent been for about a month, i know hes really nice and is trying to help me but i think i would benefit from proper cbt as my anxiety has been in my life on and off since i was very young, i would like to discuss it with my doc further but feel like i am causing a fuss when i already have therapy, do you think i should ask for some help from home aswell?. Thankyou for the info on the telephone recovery line, a while ago i got the info sheet from no panic but havent quite plucked up the courage to phone, but think maybe this is a good step and will have a go, thankyou for all the support the site is wonderfull and very comforting.
seh584, thankyou so much for the good vibes and am sending some to you aswell, all the best and thanks again.
Thanks everyone and all the best
love tammy
TammyT
Tammy,
I'm so so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. I know what it is like for your self confidence just to keep falling away bit by bit. If you could just manage one small step however tiny, that would give you a glimmer of hope & a small nugget of confidence to hold onto. Lately I have been feeling like my confidence is slilpping away again - I had been doing so well too. So I read Claire Week's book again (have you read it?) Also I have had 3 sessions of Reiki Healing which I think has boosted my confidence a little - so yesterday I had to do a 30 minute drive on my own - all weekend I was thinking of excuses not to do it - plus it had been snowing which made me even more panicky. However, I thought no I am going to do this no matter what & I followed Claire Weeks advice & it really worked. Plus you know something else that I did that I have NEVER done before? I pretended that I was one of my kids going through the anxiety & panic & I was sitting with them giving them encouragement & praise - I was talking to myself kindly instead of beating myself up with a stick - and I did it. Even though it was a small step for me I was on a high for the rest of the day because I had managed it - & it made me feel more positive than I have in months. I know that I am not cured & have a very long way to go - but at least I feel positive, for now. So what I am trying to say is, just take it one step at a time even if the climb is really steep. In regards to going to school with your daughter explain to her how you feel - if she knows the truth why you might not be able to go with her - she will accept it. You could make a fuss of her in other ways that day - like make her favourite breakfast - you could get your husband to video it and sit & watch it with her when she comes home. Just because you physically can not be with her does not mean that you are letting her down!!! Let us know how it all goes.
Hi Panicdiva,
Thankyou so much for your post it made me feel alot better, i havent been out yet but will try tomorrow i know i keep saying to myself tomorrow, but for the sake of my children i have to try. I think what you said about making a special breakfast for my daughter, filming it and watching it together was a lovely idea i think she likes the time i spend with her and on my off days maybe we can watch it then too.
Im so glad your doing so well you sound like you are achieving a lot and by doing that building your confidence, you are really strong and i admire you for doing this, keep on going theres got to be an end to all this somewhere, thanks again for all your encouragement if you ever want a chat just pm me, all the best,
Tammy
TammyT
Hi Tammy,
I am new to the site and have just read your post, I just wanted you to know that I too have had exactly the same symptoms as you and with the help of CBT I am slowly regaining my life.
I have a 9 year old daughter and a lovely partner who is really supportive and like yourself I felt that I was letting them down by not being able to go out and do things. The more I thought about it the worse it got and at one point I couldn't go outside to hang the washing out or put the rubbish in the bin. The agoraphobia seems to creep in gradually with the anxiety/panic attacks then it takes hold completely as I went from someone who loved socialising and was out every weekend to a shaking wreck trapped in a bedroom.
My therpist explained it all to me and I would be happy to let you know some of his thoughts if you PM me.
I have gone from not being able to go outside to going into shops for short periods, going for drives in the car, trips to MacDonalds .... all built up gradually since the first week of Jan this year. One thing I will say is that with CBT you have to be motivated and want to succeed with the exposure therapy and you have to do it every day but the achievement you feel is great. I can tell from your post that you have the motivation and hopefully it wont be long till you are able to get started.
My first task was to go out the back door of my house and in the front door which meant walking round the side garden .... when I first went out I was trembling and hanging on to the fence for support but with each time it got easier and now I do it without thinking. Perhaps you could set yourself some small tasks to get started?
I wish you well, stay strong .... you can do it - and as I said earlier please PM if you want to chat.
Spice
xxx
Everything you said is the way I have felt at one time or another along with lots of other people on here.
I am getting there gradually but have decided to do the No Panic course that Meg mentioned and I start next week :D
Big hug.
Piglet xx
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.