new member looking for support

[debbie20]

Hi All, I have just joined up after having a very bad day on Saturday. I woke up feeling like i just wanted to cry, what about, I had no idea! I took the dog for his walk and just got back in bed. I usually go to town on a saturday with my husband, get the lottery, pay some money into the bank, have a wander around get any other bits and bobs that I need then home, have lunch and set about doing some housework, gardening etc things that have to wait as I work all week. But not this Saturday, I just felt like I had broken down, I didnt want to do anything, go anywhere, see anyone, I just wanted to lie in bed and cry, I could feel the waves of emotion just keep coming over me, even when I kept trying to tell myself 'c'mon now this is just silly you are crying for no reason'. Then I would try and justify my crying with anything and everything that had happened that week and then months before and even years! I eventually got out of bed after about 5 hours, sat in front of the tv, watched the omnibus of corrie and then felt like I should have a shower to try and wash away my blues, but it didnt help, I just stood in the shower crying! I could go on, but I woke up on Sunday morning feeling much better, maybe I just needed an emotional release! I have suffered with depression about 10 years ago and I used Citalopram very cautiously as I didnt want to become addicted. I am a great worrier and I worry about things such as what happens in the future to me, my family etc mainly regarding money, and also about my parents who are both in their 60's and 70's and how I will cope when the time comes to say goodbye. I think I need help to live in the moment! thanks for listening.

[chantelle]

Hi Debbie

I seem to worry about a lot of the same things - irrational isn't it!!! You can't change the past or predict the future so we need to live in the present but sometimes it's so hard. I'm taking cipralex for the past 13+ weeks and am only starting to have good days now. I had my first bout of depression last year and took citalopram. It worked very well for me in a short time but unfortunately I saw another gp in my practice this time and thay put me on cipralex which sees to be working so slowly in comparism. I am also going to counselling and saw a kinesiologist today so I will keep you posted about that.
Take care and try to live in the here and now!!!
Best wishes Chantelle:welcome:

[debbie20]

thanks so much for the response. Chantelle maybe you should mention to the gp that you took citalopram and it worked well for you and you would feel better if you could take it again. its good to know that i have some place where i can just get it all off my chest. i havnt been to see my gp as this is the first time in a long time i have felt so low and it seemed to last for just the day, also i dont really want to start taking any kind of anti depressant that just numbs me it scares me what they just hand out like sweets. if it happens again then i will definately take steps to go and see my gp, i am trying to look at alternatives at the moment, mainly herbal formulations that could help. I am really trying to change my mindset and not thinking too much about next week or next month, what will be will be I guess, let fate decide!

[chantelle]

Hi Debbie

I was with my gp today and we agreed to let sleeping dogs lie - she said the changeover was too long a process and to stick with the cipralex as I am moving in the right direction!!!

I have tried kinesiology yesterday - will keep you posted of progress. If you find any alternatives please let me know - I'd try anything

Thanks Chantelle