Evieh
16-06-09, 18:28
A long post Im afraid.
Xmas Day 2008 I broke up from my partner so life hasnt exactly been a bed of roses.I work full time but the bills are mounting up and so is my overdraft.Ive already taken a loan out to cover some stuff when he left.So its all accounted for in my house.
Last week I got short on my medication.Im supposed to take 2 lofeprimine a day but was too late for repeat script so went down to 1 a day till I could get more.Subsequently, I found my mood lowered.
As a carer for people with leaning difficulties I feel I am struggling because there is one service user I am not bonding with.This is getting me down and I feel I cannot see my manager for fear of a telling off...Im always in trouble.I got told off for not having a second hand on my watch to time seizures,leaving a hat on when a service user is on the loo,that sort of thing.In my 3 monthly meeting with boss I said I felt like I was always in trouble and he said the other staff were being petty.So when I went in on friday to work,I knew that I would be taking the service user out (the one im not bonding with) and I was dreading it.Not to mention my boss had put me on a sleepover when I had specifically asked for no sleepovers on my weekend off so I was angry and swearing a bit.(This happens alot...what can I do to help myself from being angry??)...anyway, when we went out,the wheelchair battery went flat and I had to push this guy up a huge hill and got all upset and angry again.The other staff on duty with me have told my manager that i was swearing and now Im up for a disciplinary and perhaps the sack.What on earth can I do??? I cant live like this?? This whole anxiety/anger thing is taking over my life,all in 6 months.I feel like im under such pressure....:weep: :weep: .I feel so dreadful,crying all the time.I feel like im a horrible person,that im no good at my job,that people dont like me.Im embarrassed telling you all this but Im in such a state.
Xmas Day 2008 I broke up from my partner so life hasnt exactly been a bed of roses.I work full time but the bills are mounting up and so is my overdraft.Ive already taken a loan out to cover some stuff when he left.So its all accounted for in my house.
Last week I got short on my medication.Im supposed to take 2 lofeprimine a day but was too late for repeat script so went down to 1 a day till I could get more.Subsequently, I found my mood lowered.
As a carer for people with leaning difficulties I feel I am struggling because there is one service user I am not bonding with.This is getting me down and I feel I cannot see my manager for fear of a telling off...Im always in trouble.I got told off for not having a second hand on my watch to time seizures,leaving a hat on when a service user is on the loo,that sort of thing.In my 3 monthly meeting with boss I said I felt like I was always in trouble and he said the other staff were being petty.So when I went in on friday to work,I knew that I would be taking the service user out (the one im not bonding with) and I was dreading it.Not to mention my boss had put me on a sleepover when I had specifically asked for no sleepovers on my weekend off so I was angry and swearing a bit.(This happens alot...what can I do to help myself from being angry??)...anyway, when we went out,the wheelchair battery went flat and I had to push this guy up a huge hill and got all upset and angry again.The other staff on duty with me have told my manager that i was swearing and now Im up for a disciplinary and perhaps the sack.What on earth can I do??? I cant live like this?? This whole anxiety/anger thing is taking over my life,all in 6 months.I feel like im under such pressure....:weep: :weep: .I feel so dreadful,crying all the time.I feel like im a horrible person,that im no good at my job,that people dont like me.Im embarrassed telling you all this but Im in such a state.