jean-paul
20-06-09, 00:42
God, where to start!
Basically I had a real bad episode about 4 months ago which lead me to a psychiatrist who suggested I have GAD. I had been battling with periods of intense unease, terror, loss of control etc for about two years prior, I am 23 on monday.
Since seeing the psychiatrist things got a bit better, I drank less which I think helped and excersice which also helps. I started to feel more like myself although it was still a daily struggle.
However, today things went desperately wrong again. I want to try and describe as best as possible - It starts with a sudden pang of nausea, that lasts a second and then dies but I instantly know things are going pear shaped again. From then on I feel like I am descending into a pit of madness and despair. I don't hear things or see things, but everything feels wrong, I feel wrong and the world feels wrong. It is initially a feeling, an emotion, but it is unbearably intense and I start to feel like I am falling away, away from who I am, away from my life, my friends, my family it is the feeling of total loss of everything-it is unbearable. I lose who I am and I feel intense despair.
I wonder if anyone else has these experiences? The feeling that there is absolutely no way, in anyones wildest dreams, that this could be because I am too anxious-anxiety couldn't make anyone feel this freaked out and ill.
My psychiatris hasn't offered me any CBT therapy or medication-is this strange? it seems strange to me.
Ultimately, I just can't believe that all of this can be the result of anxiety. And I can't believe that anyone could recover from the broken state I am in. I know it sounds negative but I can't help it.
Anyway, that was a long and winding rant. I really hope some of you will get to the end of it, although I don't blame you if you don't. Any sympathy, help, advice would be sooo gratefully received and appreciated.
Jean-Paul
Basically I had a real bad episode about 4 months ago which lead me to a psychiatrist who suggested I have GAD. I had been battling with periods of intense unease, terror, loss of control etc for about two years prior, I am 23 on monday.
Since seeing the psychiatrist things got a bit better, I drank less which I think helped and excersice which also helps. I started to feel more like myself although it was still a daily struggle.
However, today things went desperately wrong again. I want to try and describe as best as possible - It starts with a sudden pang of nausea, that lasts a second and then dies but I instantly know things are going pear shaped again. From then on I feel like I am descending into a pit of madness and despair. I don't hear things or see things, but everything feels wrong, I feel wrong and the world feels wrong. It is initially a feeling, an emotion, but it is unbearably intense and I start to feel like I am falling away, away from who I am, away from my life, my friends, my family it is the feeling of total loss of everything-it is unbearable. I lose who I am and I feel intense despair.
I wonder if anyone else has these experiences? The feeling that there is absolutely no way, in anyones wildest dreams, that this could be because I am too anxious-anxiety couldn't make anyone feel this freaked out and ill.
My psychiatris hasn't offered me any CBT therapy or medication-is this strange? it seems strange to me.
Ultimately, I just can't believe that all of this can be the result of anxiety. And I can't believe that anyone could recover from the broken state I am in. I know it sounds negative but I can't help it.
Anyway, that was a long and winding rant. I really hope some of you will get to the end of it, although I don't blame you if you don't. Any sympathy, help, advice would be sooo gratefully received and appreciated.
Jean-Paul