Poopsigroo
22-06-09, 11:03
Hello,
I'm not sure why i'm posting this, probably just to get some reassurance that iit's just my illness making me behave this way.
I've had vaginismus for 3 years and have been in my current relationship for 5 years.
We got engaged at Christmas and since then i've been slowly getting more paraniod by the day that either my boyfirend is not 'the one' for me, i blame him for my vaginismus and think he's selfish and mean, or i go the other way and think that he regrets asking me to marry him and is falling out of love with me, i think i've got vaginismus because i feel he's actually repulsed by me, he doens't want to please me in that department and wishes i was someone fitter. Since he started a new job in a call centre, i'm always obsessing and analysing conversations he has with other women. He spends so much time of facebook, i'm sure he's not interested in me anymore, and uses facebook as a means not to interact with me.
He tells me he loves me all the time, and i know relationships can be rocky sometimes, i really don't want these thoughts to destroy it. I was so loved up before xmas and couldn't wait for him to ask me to marry him.
I'm just having irrational, hateful thoughts that this isn't working, i'm getting more anxious and bitter by the day and don't know why.
I can't loose this relationship it's too precious to me, so why am i feeling like this. I feel terrible for putting these thoughts in writing, guilty somehow, i do love him, but should i be feeling like this?
:weep:
I'm not sure why i'm posting this, probably just to get some reassurance that iit's just my illness making me behave this way.
I've had vaginismus for 3 years and have been in my current relationship for 5 years.
We got engaged at Christmas and since then i've been slowly getting more paraniod by the day that either my boyfirend is not 'the one' for me, i blame him for my vaginismus and think he's selfish and mean, or i go the other way and think that he regrets asking me to marry him and is falling out of love with me, i think i've got vaginismus because i feel he's actually repulsed by me, he doens't want to please me in that department and wishes i was someone fitter. Since he started a new job in a call centre, i'm always obsessing and analysing conversations he has with other women. He spends so much time of facebook, i'm sure he's not interested in me anymore, and uses facebook as a means not to interact with me.
He tells me he loves me all the time, and i know relationships can be rocky sometimes, i really don't want these thoughts to destroy it. I was so loved up before xmas and couldn't wait for him to ask me to marry him.
I'm just having irrational, hateful thoughts that this isn't working, i'm getting more anxious and bitter by the day and don't know why.
I can't loose this relationship it's too precious to me, so why am i feeling like this. I feel terrible for putting these thoughts in writing, guilty somehow, i do love him, but should i be feeling like this?
:weep: