Very Scared

[Chips]

Sorry for the long first post but I need to get these fears out of my head:weep:

My dad suffered a heart attack back in January. He's ok now but the whole episode got me searching the web looking for info and help into what had happened to him. This then led to over-focusing on my own body and imagining that I might have a problem with my own heart (34 year old healthy male). Before long, the first panic attacks started to happen - triggered by the smallest twinge in the chest or stomach. An intense sense of mortality and fear of death started around the same time plus lump in throat/acid reflux which I've still got.


Everywhere on the net tells us that panic attacks can't harm you and you won't die. I want to believe this but found myself looking for proof that it is possible to die from intense fear or shock. I couldn't believe that something as terrifying as a PA couldn't harm you. Depending on who you believe and wether you have existing conditions, some experts say it may be possible to die from fear - part of me says that Google is not the place to look for reassurance as there is simply too much conflicting info and incomplete snippets to make a proper judgement. The problem I now have is that I'm convinced the next PA might actually kill me throught fear. A rush of fight/flight chemicals so strong my heart might stop or go into a dangerous rythym. This is so miserable. I seem to have created a no win situation where I have a timebomb or self destuct button inside me. The first time I read a medical article on dying from fear, I had a panic attack so intense that I had to spend the whole night walking on the beach to keep the adrenaline at bay (thanks Google). Saw my GP next day and started on Propranolol which has really helped with keeping the adrenaline away but mentally I feel I have created my own death sentence. PAs now seem a lot more sinister to me. BTW, my GP says it's extremely unlikely to get a rush so big that it kills you but my mind just tells me that she would say that.

I've read a lot of posts on this forum where it seems people are utterly conviced that they are about to die during an attack. If there really was a risk of dying from intense fear, then surely people would be dying from PAs all the time? Sorry for the ramblings but I'm desperatley trying to make sense of this and am looking for some reassurance please. Thanks so much.
Stuart

[gypsywomen]

:hugs: dont worry propanadol are good they shoulsd help plus they can help your heart ,,i know its scary if i was you i would just stay on this site i have found it very helpfull.some sites put fear of god into you ,hope you ok soon xxx

[Chips]

Thanks gypsywoman. The Propanalol has been a godsend to keep the adrenaline at bay. Still terrified I might get so scared during a panic attack that my heart will pack up. I'm trying to reason with myself by saying that other people also believe they are about to die during an attack but never actually do.

I'd like to hear what people feel during an attack - do you fear for your life?

[Veronica H]

YOU WILL NOT DIE FROM PANIC. Of course it is the worst feeling in the world and because our fight or flight response has been triggered we get the feeling of dread and the urge to take extreme action. It is hard in the midst of this to realise that it is the fear of the panic attack, and this struggle which produces the adrenalin and sensitises our nerves further. This keeps the cycle going.
There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes called 'self help for your nerves', published by Thorsons. This is available from the NMP Shop. Her work can also be downloaded free to your MP3 from the shop. I can not recommend this enough as it really explains what is happening to us, and how we can recover. Listen to the downloads as soon as you can and you will be reassured.
The trigger for this was your dads illness which must have been traumatic for you. This is understandable, so be kind to yourself. I know it may seem hard to believe at the moment, but this will get better.

Veronica:bighug1:

[Chips]

Thanks for your help Veronic. I'll get the book you mentioned and listen to it today.

Just can't believe how intense and overwhelming these feelings are. I keep telling myself that we would all be dropping like flies if these feelings really could harm us. The body and mind is so complicated - I look at my cats and envy the fact they are simple and just 'work' properly!

Very grateful for this forum.
Stu

[Funky Mum]

I had an attack a few weeks ago, my first one and I honestly thought my heart would keep racing until it gave out. I was so so scared, I've never felt anything like it. I told hubby to get the phone to ring someone as I was convinced I was going to pass out. Since then I had a slightly lesser attack but also since this happened I have a fear that something is wrong and I feel like I'm going to pass out or die :(
Its a sort of feeling that starts in my tummy area, just a sensation, then my heart starts racing. Once my heart slows down I shake uncontrollably until my heart starts racing again.

Its a horrible feeling made worse because I have young kids and then I think about leaving them and so it gets worse - its almost a physical feeling inside that I get.

Since then I find the evenings worse as its quiet and my mind starts thinking!
Also been getting palpatations but reading on here about them has helped me alot.

Also reading about other people's feelings and how common they are has helped - its reassured me that its anxiety rather than something really wrong with me.

Glad your dad is ok :bighug1:

[Chips]

Funky Mum, I agree the evenings are the worst. There's only so much you can do to stay occupied and keep your mind off things! Thanks for your kind words about my dad, he'll last until he's 100 at least!

Why do I think this way? It's almost as if there's something inside me that has to try and make my panics attacks different and more threatening than what everyone else goes through. I can understand people giving up hope and dying at the end of their life or perhaps from a broken heart, but surely not healthy people dying from shock or fear.

[Chips]

Crikey what a night. Went out for a long walk on the downs to get nice and relaxed and burn off any extra tension, got home and wham...major attack, constant shaking, adrenaline surges, crying and severe agitation. Couldn't stand it any longer so drove to A&E as a desparate last measure. Staff were great and 5mg diazepam finally did the trick. God I hope I don't have many nights like that.

[dobes]

Chips, I've been where you are. My panic disorder started in earnest when my mom told me she had cancer. She was 50; I was 28, and that was 20 years ago. For the next few years, my panic attacks were intense and horrifying. I was convinced during every single one that I was dying. I ran to more emergency rooms than I care to remember. Over the years, I learned to control the attacks, or at least survive through them without calling an ambulance (!), and at one point was free of them for more than a decade. September 11 (I lived in New York City then) started them up again, and it took a few years for them to subside. I still have almost daily palpitations and occasional head rushes, but most of the time I feel OK. I've never taken medication because I eventually believed the doctors when they said this would not kill me, and I want to conquer it myself.

Believe me, it will not kill you. You will not die of the fear. Hang on, and it will pass. It's been happening to me for twenty years, and I haven't died yet! Maybe, along with whatever you can do to ease the attacks, you can get some help in dealing with what happened to your father?

Hang in there, and best of luck.

[Funky Mum]

((Chips)) sorry you had such a bad night. I hope tonight is better for you.

[Chips]

Thanks dobes. You sound like you've been through it. 20 years is a long time to put up with all that panic and fear. It's one day at at time for me at the mo.

I was a wreck last night and today has been pretty hard too. The biggest regret I have is searching Google to find out if you can die of fear or panic and then trying to make sense of the information. It's just fuel on the fire. Ultimately I need to see my GP and get checked out properly for peace of mind. Just gotta keep telling myself the body is an amazing machine and it won't let me down. Just like to say again that the folks at A&E were great.

[Blot]

Hi Chips. I concur with all the previous folk, I have suffered from panic attacks for about 9 years. Like you I am overly concerned about my heart, have had any tests,seen cardiologists - who have given my heart a clean bill of health. It does NOT stop me from worrying that there is an underlying heart problem, yet I am still here. Panic attacks are frightening esp when they are intense & frequent. The anxiety - panic attack - fear cycle is the problem. STOP googling - take it from me, it is just too stressful. Instead,buy & read the books written by Claire Weekes.She knew & explained the physiology of panic,anxiety & had many relevant exercises & therapies we are able to implement ourselves.You can buy her books & get free mp3 downloads on this website. XX

[Panickypants]

Hi Chips i have suffered Pa's since my youngest daughter was born 5 years ago i have had up and down times weeks where i felt like i was dying and like you my main worry is my heart.. I do have a heart complaint called pulmonary stenosis which is only mild and i have never ever had any ill effect from it i also have it checked every year and they always tell me it's fine..

I convince myself my heart is going to pound so much it will explode or turn into a heart attack,Sometimes though i can be sat there feeling o.k then i get this feeling as if my heart is slowing right down and i think it's going to stop and i wait for it then BANG it starts pounding..It's a viscious circle cos if i feel anxious i convince myself my heart is getting worse so then in turn bring on an attack..the heart is a very scary thing...It does make me feel better knowing that people have exactly the same symptoms as me cos then i realise it isn't my heart complaint but it is anxiety...hope your feeling better today x