Does anybody have similar feelings?

[ppdkdck]

Hello everybody,

So I know a bit about forum etiquette, and I realize that I'm breaking the "search previous posts first" rule a little bit. I've gone through some of the other posts, but probably not as many as I should. Hopefully many of you can understand that the panic leads to a "my God, I need answers now" sort of feeling. I'll make sure to continue reading previous posts.:)

Anyhow, I've been on cymbalta/effexor (at different times) over the course of the past 10 or so years, and I made the decision that I wanted to be free of it. I felt great for the first month, and then started getting this nagging feeling that "there's just not something right about the world." This progressed into full-blown panic attacks. Mostly, my greatest fear is that I have a brain tumor (going to have that checked out tomorrow).

I get these weird feelings in my head, like there's pressure building. It feels like my head is about to explode, but not in a painful way. Perhaps another way of describing it would be to say that it feels like a ten pound weight is hanging from the rear of my brain.

The other scary symptom is recurring episodes of derealization. It feels like nothing is real, and that the edges of reality are being peeled back. I feel like, at any minute, my conciousness could be ripped from me. It also feels as though I'm about to lose my vision. Like for a split second, it's like I drop out of conciousness and then come back. Sort of like a "brain zap" for those of you familiar with antidepressant withdrawal. My vision lacks "emotional color" and it seems like there is way too much to take in; in the sense that light is too bright and there's so much in my field of vision that my brain can't possibly comprehend it all.

The worst part is that it never seems to go away. It's worst during a full out panic attack, but for the past week, if I'm not panicking, all this stuff is on the back of my mind, at a low level. I'm to the point where I feel hopeless about ever getting better.

Has anybody experienced similar combos of symptoms? Does anybody else fear having a tumor? Should I even be worried about a tumor as a healthy and fit 22 year old?

Thanks for any insight, and sorry for the long post. Any answers would be a beacon in the darkness.

[Reggie]

Hi

Yes I was positive I had a brain tumour at one point - constant headaches, dizziness, pain - I had an MRI and it was normal.

Also you talk about derealisation, it's a horrible feeling, I've had that too.

You are not alone. One thing you'll find about this site is you read posts and feel like you're reading about yourself. Though I wouldn't wish panic/anxiety on anyone, it can be a comforting thought to know it's not just you.

I hope you went for your check up and it went ok.

Reggie -x-

[monkeybutler]

Sounds pretty familiar to me, there have been a couple days where i've just had the pressure in my head the whole day, and the sort of derealization where it feels like you're hungover but without a headache, sort of like you might feel after taking an aspirin for it. Though sometimes i WAS hungover and tried to pin the head feeling on that.
Sometimes the pressure just won't go away and when i keep thinking about it it just seems to get worse, and that's what i think makes it so annoying. i've learned that if i can concentrate (hard to do when you're experiencing this) on other things that can distract or occupy me, then the pressure isn't noticeable, and makes me realize it was all due to my anxious feelings and the fact that i couldn't stop dwelling on my symptoms.
The derealization tends to be worse for me when I'm alone, though when I'm talking to some friends it still feels like I'm in a neutral emotional world. What helps is making sure your emotions aren't bottled, especially those related to anxiety, always have an outlet.
So you're definitely not alone!

[Thumbelina]

Hi there PPD..,

I am scared of derealisation more then anything, as it is when i feel i am not myself anymore and that i cna loose it any moment. It is the most scariest thing, I also wouldnt wish this to my worst enemy if i ever have one.

[tasia]

derealisation is a symptom of brain fag..in other words you are overwhelmed and emotionally shattered and this is why this weird awful feeling happens..the more you worry about it the worse it will be..i have suffered with this for years and the best way to deal with it is to try to relax and go with the flow..it will go away believe me you are not mad you dont have a brain tumour you are just exhaused...dont worry let the feeling pass you by it is perfectly normal many people who suffer anxiety and panic disorders have this problem. take care x

[Kerrigan]

The loss of vision is one panic symptom I can relate to. I have a swallowing tic which has taken the best parts of my life away so there are moments of anxiety in a general sense that I have no future but for example if I go to the library, it's so quiet that I think everyone can hear me swallow and sometimes because of that either I'll choke or dreadfully anticipate choking and each swallow is mental torture.

This is when my eyesight feels like it could cut out because I almost don't see anything, all I'm aware of is a consuming panic and a pressure mounting behind my eyes, it's not a panic attack but an ongoing build up and release of inner tension. Other symptoms are dizziness, a sense of reality distortion, only being able to 'see' a few feet in front of you.

There's nothing wrong with my eyesight but after I choke I go hot with embarrassment, my focus folds inwards and I momentarily detach from reality. It's like tourettes, it's ISN'T tourettes because no offence to people who suffer from tourettes that I would weep if I developed that but when I choke it's like the end of the world there's NOTHING to redeem myself. I don't know if friendship or love could withstand it.

[hayley3]

i am convinced myself that i have a tumor especially since my aunty had it a few years ago and nearly died from it cause the doctors did not pick it up even after 3 fits and constent visits to the doctors, i get pressure for days on end in my head, which i explain exactly like you, i think my head is going to explode, i also get times that i dont feel like im here, when people are talking to me, or if the room is too quiet, or too loud, if its too hot, i hate being hot, i dont know what to do anymore i just want it to end