Rock Bottom

[sMINT]

Today is the 2nd time I have had to cancel a trip away and loose all my money due to my anxiety and panic attacks. Although this time was more due to anxiety and the build up making myself ill and then today being too ill with flu like symptoms to leave.

I honestly feel at rock bottom now.

Ive lost £120+ from not going today and just feel awful at myself. Im trying not to beat myself up about it but after this 2nd time now of not going away I honestly can see no cure for my panic and anxiety.

Im seeing my mental health nurse Thursday so hopefully CBT will vbe on the cards and that is the only thing left for me to try, If that doesnt work then I honestly dont know what to do with myself.

I have so many problems I feel I can never be rid of them all and return to a normal life, I get OCD, Extreme panic attacks, Anxiety every single day making my legs ache like anything and my neck and back. Ive completely dwindled my social life away and have next to no friends left due to me always making an excuse not to go out with them.

:weep::weep:

[bluegirl09]

Hello there try not too beat yourself up so much i know how dissappointing it is its not about the money so much its just not being able too enjoy life and going out and having fun:blush: i lost 300 pounds when i had a panic attack in 2007 in cardiff airport and couldnt go on my holidays with my friends i had to have my suitcase removed i was working it all up so much in my head that i got into a right state its not nice,but however this year i just flew too spain and am off again in 9 weeks too portugal so things can get better im on citralopram its changed my life for the better -good luck and dont worry too much :)

[melody]

The one thing I learned about hitting rock bottom is there is nowhere to go but up.

Money comes and goes all the time. It is meaningless, a concept that causes so many so much worry, but is so unimportant in the scheme of things.

I have no friends because I am a coward, but the future is yet to be written. i never did believe in fate. Things can and do change! But I wouldn't have believed me a few years ago, everything has changed. i have grown. I have seen through the garbage I tell myself. Pushing through fears takes one first step, once! Then one more. Just gotta get up, once. I know it's impossible seeming, you will know when your time comes.

Honestly, what would you say if your best friend said about themself what you said about yourself? Would you tell them to ease up on themselves, that they were being extremely harsh? Would you tell them the same things that you told yourself about that situation? I doubt it. Since when are we all supposed to be so perfect anyway???

You know it will pass and fade away into the distance. Do you know that the only way you can ever get well is to be kinder to yourself and accept that you feel this way for a reason? you have a right to feel the way you feel!

Go easy on yourself :)

Melody

[sMINT]

Thanks everyone for the kind words.

I feel a lot better today after sleeping on it. Still finding it hard to change my attitude and thoughts pattern on 'I will never get better' though.